The Student Room Group

Uni flatmates

Okay, to cut a long story short I recently sorted out my uni accomodation for next year, however I now cannot stand my current flat mate who was meant to be my flat mate next year. Due to an incident that occurred that left me uncomfortable and really distressed, his lack of care over a situation he caused has caused me to rethink my living arrangements next year. I have been avoiding him for days and he doesn't seem to think he's done anything wrong. How do I deal with this situation? Do I be upfront, tell him I'm mad and no longer going to live with him next year? Or do I bide my time as I only have a few weeks left at uni and avoid him, and later tell him via message that I will not be living with him? I find it really hard to deal with confrontation and this whole situation has been giving me a lot of anxiety.
Be upfront that’s always th best
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, to cut a long story short I recently sorted out my uni accomodation for next year, however I now cannot stand my current flat mate who was meant to be my flat mate next year. Due to an incident that occurred that left me uncomfortable and really distressed, his lack of care over a situation he caused has caused me to rethink my living arrangements next year. I have been avoiding him for days and he doesn't seem to think he's done anything wrong. How do I deal with this situation? Do I be upfront, tell him I'm mad and no longer going to live with him next year? Or do I bide my time as I only have a few weeks left at uni and avoid him, and later tell him via message that I will not be living with him? I find it really hard to deal with confrontation and this whole situation has been giving me a lot of anxiety.


Talk to him directly. If he doesn't realise that what he did upset you, then you need to make that clear. He might feel really sorry about it after you've explained.

If he shows no remorse, then it's best to be upfront and tell him that you don't want to live with him anymore. This gives him time to make alternatives arrangements without him being left in the lurch at the last minute. If you found out your flatmate had dumped you with only a few weeks of uni to go, but they had decided that ages ago, you wouldn't be very happy with that I'd imagine, so it's best not to put others in that situation.
Have you signed a contract? If so you can't just change your mind.

I would speak to him, might be he convinces you he's sorry and it's resolved. If not, at least you know where you are.

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