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Boyfriend advice- spilt personality? watch

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    My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. When we met he had a girlfriend who lived in Australia and he broke up with her to be with me. I was torn between him and a guy who I had been having a 'friends with benefits' relationship with for 2 years. I did cheat on my boyfriend with the friends with benefits guy about a week into the relationship. I felt so guilty and regretted it, I came clean about a month later, he was angry but forgave me.

    We had a perfect few months and never argued, we saw each other a fair amount and it was all good. Then he went away for 6 weeks in summer, 3 of those we didn't speak. This started our arguments and ever since we haven't gone a week without arguing, its been almost 7 months now! He brings up when i cheated a lot, which I understand but at the same time, I was honest and he knows I would never do it again. He also is so focussed on his exams now and blames me for not doing well.

    The thing is, we are so in love but we just can't handle each other. We are so different and our plans for next year are so different that I don't know what will happen. We have 'broken up' a lot of times but it's never been serious or lasted more than a day. Neither of us can let each other go. it just means i am miserable, I am always waiting on him and for the weekend where we see each other. It just seems like I am in limbo. I don't know how to break up or if I even want that? I am just so confused and advice from someone who doesn't know either of us personally would massively help.

    Thank you in advance
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    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. When we met he had a girlfriend who lived in Australia and he broke up with her to be with me. I was torn between him and a guy who I had been having a 'friends with benefits' relationship with for 2 years. I did cheat on my boyfriend with the friends with benefits guy about a week into the relationship. I felt so guilty and regretted it, I came clean about a month later, he was angry but forgave me.

    We had a perfect few months and never argued, we saw each other a fair amount and it was all good. Then he went away for 6 weeks in summer, 3 of those we didn't speak. This started our arguments and ever since we haven't gone a week without arguing, its been almost 7 months now! He brings up when i cheated a lot, which I understand but at the same time, I was honest and he knows I would never do it again. He also is so focussed on his exams now and blames me for not doing well.

    The thing is, we are so in love but we just can't handle each other. We are so different and our plans for next year are so different that I don't know what will happen. We have 'broken up' a lot of times but it's never been serious or lasted more than a day. Neither of us can let each other go. it just means i am miserable, I am always waiting on him and for the weekend where we see each other. It just seems like I am in limbo. I don't know how to break up or if I even want that? I am just so confused and advice from someone who doesn't know either of us personally would massively help.

    Thank you in advance
    This sounds much like myself and my ex. We were together for 9 months. We argued all the time over petty things because we both wanted different things and had vastly different emotional maturity levels and plans for the future.

    In the end we broke it off and, my god, it was the best thing we did! I never realised how much I'd been neglected by her and how I was beating myself up for feeling irritated by her actions all the time. There must've been things that I did that annoyed her, I am sure.

    I feel like maybe you are in a similar situation - you are both desperately trying to change the other in order to secure a future together, even though you and he both know it isn't going to happen?
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    Tell him that if the 2 of you have more than 1 argument in the next month, you're out.
    As soon as your second argument starts, stop whatever you're doing. Say "Bye" and walk away from him and never look back. Ignore any pleas from him to get back together.

    If, by some miracle, you argument rate drops to once per month, feel free to stay with him, or come up with some other reason to end your relationship.
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    Well the relationship started off on the wrong foot (him having a gf and than breaking it off to be with you and you cheating on him during the first week) But regardless of that, you mentioned that you guys have been arguing none stop for 7 months now, that's a lot to be honest. I think you guys should talk out what you want in your life and future and what he wants in his and decide from there because on top of that if he can't let go what you did early on in the relationship and he brings it up every time you guys argue, its just going to get worse from there. It will be a negative damp in your life to always be arguing and not getting what you should be getting out of the relationship.
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    You are arguing way too much and you're absolutely right, if he's gonna forgive you then he has to move on and not keep bringing up the same issue. If he can't move on then you won't work otgether.
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    You may be in love with each together but this relationship isn't working out. It sounds like you're too different or aren't compatible and him bringing up your cheating is going to get tiring pretty soon. It's almost like it's the only thing he can use against you, and this, put with being blamed for his poor exam performance, would make me want run for the hills.
 
 
 
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