Got a best friend who i've known for over 7 years and long story short shes 26, doesnt have a job (but does odd bits of market research) but her main issue is she is stuck living with an ex and I can confirm they do keep to themselves but look out for each other and pay their way to keep on top of rent (somehow) My issue is shes having a moment where I think she wants a BF and shes constantly talking to one guy and maybe month later theres another. Like shes desperate for that companionship and love etc.
I do want her to be happy obviously but Im not sure how to explain to her (or not at all) that she simply cant maintain a relationship if you live with another guy or rather whos an ex.
Like do relationships work if one still lives with an ex because I certainly dont think they do especially if you dont know the years of circumstances and reasons that have led her to that point like the trust will just end.
Or am I wrong can relationships maintain if one lives with an ex?
Do I tell her or just leave them to it?
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do relationships maintain when one half still lives with an ex watch
- Thread Starter
- 12-03-2018 20:05
- 12-03-2018 21:29
No you're right on that. You can't start a new relationship with someone while you still live with your ex. Unless you just want to have flings but no guy will be okay with that. I suggest you talk to her and tell her straight up how it is. Because if she wants a chance at a new relationship, she is going to have to decide on either being roommates with her ex, or living on her own and find happiness.
- 12-03-2018 21:46
Are there children involved? How would her ex react if she suddenly decided to up sticks and leave? would he be bothered at all? To me it seems more like she's hoping to start a relationship with someone in the hope that he could help her to move out? And that could work if she found someone who was very understanding and if she was totally honest with him and wanted to be with him and not as an easy way to leave the situation she is in now,
Obvisouly it would be best for 1 of them to move out but if she has no job then that isn't really going to be feasible is it?Last edited by JaseyB; 12-03-2018 at 21:53.
- Thread Starter
- 13-03-2018 22:13
No, no children involved. Its just her, her ex and 4 cats in one home. The guy shes got an interest in rents a bedroom off this other lad so its not like he has his own place anyway.
I think shes just going through a phase where they want to live high and grasp at any chance they get with someone and start showing off. Trouble is cause hes renting a bedroom hes going to want her all to his self and not have his landlord lay down restrictions. So once he pops the question and says 'how about we crash at yours for the night' shes just going to be stuck for an answer basically which is just humorous really. Shes been living with her ex for like four years now. Obviously they lived somewhere else when they were together. I do know her ex and he seems alright but apparently he used to physically abuse her which is why they broke up but still live together. If it wasnt for him paying half the bills/rent she would be homeless most likely. And now shes having this moment where shes going to night clubs, spending what little money she has and obviously linking up with a guy thats sparked her interest.
how can you get away with it like. Shes my best mate obviously so I have been to her home a few times but for someone who doesnt fully know her hes going to see hints that she doesnt live alone, i.e mens toiletaries in bathroom, mens clothes on drying rack, PS4 with The Division etc. He knows she isnt going to be playing stuff like that due to her personality, shes just not a gamer.
It just infuriates me because how can she not see that it isnt safe to be seeing guys if you live with an ex. I know how this will end and thats basically when she comes up with a shoddy excuse for not having him stop at her place for the night. And because he rents a bedroom and not a house, all the more reason he will ask to go to her place.
I want to tell her to get her head out her ass but I know that will look like im poking my nose in lol