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Parents wont let me go to university outside my city watch

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    My parents are making me go to the universities in my city and threatened me if I dont achieve their grades, that they will pull me out of education and get me married off, and this was a serious conversation. They were even planning to take me out of school the next day but then they calmed down...
    The thing is I want to go to a university thats outside my city and I've already firmed it but no one knows and its been over a week so it'll be difficult for me to change it now but Im scared if anyone finds out.
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    Hello!



    First off thats really horrible and stressful, but you firming your dream uni anyway is seriously, seriously cool! (where are you going btw? I hope its nice!) I'm about to give you advice, but first I'd like to admit that I don't know if I could have done that if I was faced with your predicament.



    Okie dokie. So this is my two cents! Feel free to ignore it if you feel its not the right fit for you.

    I don't think you should change. I think you've made the right decision and also I think keeping it quiet is the right decision just for now. There is no need for the agro now. Of course, you will need to tell them at some stage but not now.

    Remember:

    1. You have nothing to worry about. They cannot force you to marry. You will be an adult, completely legally independent.
    2. If you leave your city and go to your uni, they may be angry for a bit. However, they will not be angry forever, especially not when you come out with your 2:1 or first (which would be harder to get if you weren't at the uni you loved!).
    3. You will grow do much from this, from making your own way and I know that sounds so so much easier said than done (because it is, what you've done already is fantastically brave). But it will teach you to be self-reliant and mature in a way most young adults aren't and wont be for years to come and it will really show.
    4. You will love the satisfaction of going to your dream uni.
    5. They will come round


    HOWEVER!

    1. If you are seriously, seriously worried that they'll take you out of school/marry you off, keep it secret for now and speak to a counsellor (Samaritans and Childline are both excellent in my experience!) They'll keep it secret but they can tell you what your rights are.
    2. If your parents are so fuming angry that they can't come round at all even in decades and decades then... thats another issue (I would say kick em to the kerb if they're THAT BAD but thats me being uninvolved). But even if you think they wont forgive you, 99.9% of parents would.
    3. They are very protective of you and I can see how they love you but despite their intentions, you cannot let them do this for you if you truly, truly do not want to stay in the city. You need to bloom out of their shadow or you may not change much in these 3 important years.


    You're gonna get loads of different opinions on this thread and you might think this one is a load of rubbish. However, I hope it can help you even just a little to reach your decision. But I think you've done fantastically the way you're going.

    I honestly honestly wish you the best and I'm here if you ever need to shoot over a PM. Please think carefully and keep us updated!
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    (woah the spacing makes it look even more MASSIVE than it already is, sorry!)
    TLDR: You're doing good! Go to your drem uni, your folks will eventually cheer up!
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    (Original post by slurredsquash)
    Hello!



    First off thats really horrible and stressful, but you firming your dream uni anyway is seriously, seriously cool! (where are you going btw? I hope its nice!) I'm about to give you advice, but first I'd like to admit that I don't know if I could have done that if I was faced with your predicament.



    Okie dokie. So this is my two cents! Feel free to ignore it if you feel its not the right fit for you.

    I don't think you should change. I think you've made the right decision and also I think keeping it quiet is the right decision just for now. There is no need for the agro now. Of course, you will need to tell them at some stage but not now.

    Remember:

    1. You have nothing to worry about. They cannot force you to marry. You will be an adult, completely legally independent.
    2. If you leave your city and go to your uni, they may be angry for a bit. However, they will not be angry forever, especially not when you come out with your 2:1 or first (which would be harder to get if you weren't at the uni you loved!).
    3. You will grow do much from this, from making your own way and I know that sounds so so much easier said than done (because it is, what you've done already is fantastically brave). But it will teach you to be self-reliant and mature in a way most young adults aren't and wont be for years to come and it will really show.
    4. You will love the satisfaction of going to your dream uni.
    5. They will come round


    HOWEVER!

    1. If you are seriously, seriously worried that they'll take you out of school/marry you off, keep it secret for now and speak to a counsellor (Samaritans and Childline are both excellent in my experience!) They'll keep it secret but they can tell you what your rights are.
    2. If your parents are so fuming angry that they can't come round at all even in decades and decades then... thats another issue (I would say kick em to the kerb if they're THAT BAD but thats me being uninvolved). But even if you think they wont forgive you, 99.9% of parents would.
    3. They are very protective of you and I can see how they love you but despite their intentions, you cannot let them do this for you if you truly, truly do not want to stay in the city. You need to bloom out of their shadow or you may not change much in these 3 important years.


    You're gonna get loads of different opinions on this thread and you might think this one is a load of rubbish. However, I hope it can help you even just a little to reach your decision. But I think you've done fantastically the way you're going.

    I honestly honestly wish you the best and I'm here if you ever need to shoot over a PM. Please think carefully and keep us updated!
    Awww this is so cute! Firstly, thank you for the detailed reply and taking the time out to help me out, and the advice you've given is so helpful too! I think its better if I respond to this via dms if you don't mind? x
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    Worst case, you don't get the extra maintenance loan(if you are entitled to it in the first place). If your parents are toxic and set in their way, tell them you're going to the university you want to and go to the one YOU want to go to and get a part time job in said city. They will have ZERO power over you.
 
 
 
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