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Do you feel like death is a taboo topic to discuss? watch

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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I think some age appropriate information on death to children wouldn't do harm like any difficult life topic with children, the first mention of death to me was when my dad had died (I was 9 at the time) and I don't think it should necessarily be that way or at least perhaps some training for teachers in how to approach it as none of mine in my time at school really knew how to so I stopped telling them and talked my way round it.
    Celebrity campaigns are definetly a step in the right direction.
    I agree that age appropriate discussions are important. How old should a child be before they attend a funeral, is a question regularly asked on social media and there are many that say 13/14+. Whilst it is obviously up to individual parents and will depend on the individual child too, I don’t think it is particularly helpful to prevent children as old as that going to funerals as a means to protect them. I think it adds to the taboo.
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    (Original post by Winner winner)
    It’s definitely a taboo. I think that we have come some way to lessening that taboo because of social media. However, only if it is a pretty enough grief. Laying flowers, sending balloons, writing poems etc all would be fine but the darkest, rawest parts of my grief aren’t allowed to be talked about in any form. People crossed the street like it’s contagious, rather than actually have to talk to you.

    I buried two of my baby daughters, and I would say 75% of the friends I made at the worst time of my life have two Facebook accounts. One for general chit chatting and one that they solely have other bereaved parents on. Where they can share photos and words that other people don’t want to hear either on social media or face to face. An outlet when there’s no other place because there isn’t necessarily the professional help either. So where do people turn?
    Perhaps part of it comes from people not wanting to try and say the wrong thing when they ve not had that experience themselves but I ve always found that if they say something at least they mean well rather than not doing anything at all. It's awful that people feel the need to have separate accounts on social media, they should be able to share those things to help them to grieve of that's what they want to do.
    You re right it feels like it's only charities who can actually offer some professional help which of course would be limited.
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    No, I don't think it's a taboo topic.
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    (Original post by Notoriety)
    To be clear, on here suicidal posts will be removed from public view and will be responded to in a private forum by peer support volunteers. It is not that a poster would be ignored, but I doubt that these posters are as precipitous in response as ordinary users. I guess the trade off is that they will not say something which will exacerbate the situation.

    I won't respond to the rest as I don't see a point. It is about who we are as posters and is not going to add to the conversation. Whether I am wholly ignorant or the most brilliant psychotherapist, my arguments should stand by themselves.
    Again, I wasn’t talking about the TSR MH community I was talking about society online and offline in general. TSR isn’t a place to express those thoughts, the issue is that there isn’t anywhere for those feelings to be expressed. There’s nowhere you can talk about it without being immediately dismissed for saying something people don’t know how to deal with, unless you have the confidence to make a phone call and say what you feel out loud at risk of being overheard.

    It’s nowt to do with you as a poster, it’s you making an assumption about something you admit to knowing little about. I don’t think anyone’s arguments should “stand by themselves” if they aren’t backed up by knowledge or evidence. Who you are means little to me, I don’t know if I’ve even interacted with you before so why you think this is personal is beyond me.
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    (Original post by Winner winner)
    I agree that age appropriate discussions are important. How old should a child be before they attend a funeral, is a question regularly asked on social media and there are many that say 13/14+. Whilst it is obviously up to individual parents and will depend on the individual child too, I don’t think it is particularly helpful to prevent children as old as that going to funerals as a means to protect them. I think it adds to the taboo.
    I think a child should be able to make that choice themselves, for many people you have to grow up losing a close loved one so being given that choice gives the child some sense of control and closure . I chose to go to my dad's funeral and although I ve repressed a lot of memories from that time, seeing all those people lives that were affected by him helped me more than did me any harm. Yes i agree preventing children going isn't helpful for their grieving process.
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    Talking about mental health is still a very taboo subject. If it's not taboo, it certainly comes under a lot of fire from ignorant people who still believe if you can't see it, it's not there.

    I don't believe talking about death is more taboo. I believe people don't know what to say, but it's not as bad as talking about self harm, suicidal feelings etc.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I think some age appropriate information on death to children wouldn't do harm like any difficult life topic with children, the first mention of death to me was when my dad had died (I was 9 at the time) and I don't think it should necessarily be that way or at least perhaps some training for teachers in how to approach it as none of mine in my time at school really knew how to so I stopped telling them and talked my way round it.
    Celebrity campaigns are definetly a step in the right direction.
    Sorry to hear the loss of your father at such a young age.
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    (Original post by gjd800)
    I don't want to impose or intrude but I'm after some entry-level Sufi reading (pet project) - might you be able to recommend me some stuff? Don't feel compelled!
    A good place to start is 'Morals for the Heart by Sufi saint, Nizam Ad-Din Awliya and poetry by Rumi. These are classical Sufi texts that will introduce you to what Sufism is about.
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    To me, it is not taboo. It is basically a guaranteed thing so why would you not talk about it. Ignoring it or hiding away from it will not stop it from happening.
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    (Original post by Lastone123)
    A good place to start is 'Morals for the Heart by Sufi saint, Nizam Ad-Din Awliya and poetry by Rumi. These are classical Sufi texts that will introduce you to what Sufism is about.
    I am familiar with Rumi but not with the other - thank you!
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    (Original post by SherlockD)
    Sorry to hear the loss of your father at such a young age.
    Thank you, at least I have some memories I ve met someone who has lost their parent as a toddler. One of my best friends was 12 with her mum and her dad got dementia soon afterwards so I m grateful for what I do have.
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    Again, I wasn’t talking about the TSR MH community I was talking about society online and offline in general. TSR isn’t a place to express those thoughts, the issue is that there isn’t anywhere for those feelings to be expressed. There’s nowhere you can talk about it without being immediately dismissed for saying something people don’t know how to deal with, unless you have the confidence to make a phone call and say what you feel out loud at risk of being overheard.
    OP was not talking about suicide. As for general conversation about death and fear of death, it is more than common in a social and professional setting. You are not breaking new ground by talking to your friend about it. To reiterate, OP mentioned people being unwilling to talk about death (in an MH setting) rather than directly suicide. I agree people clam up, socially or professionally, when someone mentions suicidal thoughts.

    It’s nowt to do with you as a poster, it’s you making an assumption about something you admit to knowing little about. I don’t think anyone’s arguments should “stand by themselves” if they aren’t backed up by knowledge or evidence. Who you are means little to me, I don’t know if I’ve even interacted with you before so why you think this is personal is beyond me.
    I wrote that bit to try to end this point scoring approach. You somehow saw that as an invitation to further respond and attempt to dismiss me.

    First the point about "us as posters" meant the conversation was about us and not the topic of the thread. If we'd gone further, we'd be talking about our credentials and experiences in order to save face or boost egos. It is not constructive. Second I never said I know nothing about MH. You made that assumption. I deal with MH vulnerable clients on a daily basis and received Samaritans training to do so, specifically to identify and handle suicidal clients. By "MH content", I meant gobshites talking about MH (for example on here). Now not saying you are one of these! Then again, couldn't harm you to assume that not everyone you talk to is an idiot.
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    (Original post by monkeyman0121)
    To me, it is not taboo. It is basically a guaranteed thing so why would you not talk about it. Ignoring it or hiding away from it will not stop it from happening.
    Those are true words. I guess it is so awkward for people to talk about it, as death is just seen as a negative thing.
 
 
 
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