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    So my flatmate keeps bugging me to go out with her tonight, bearing in mind we went out on Friday & Saturday and on both of those nights I paid for everything, entry fees, ubers, pres drinks, mixers, cups, drinks in the club and even food after the club because she always has no money - but this isn't even one of those things that she evens says oh I'll owe you or pay you back which she always does.

    Like if it was the one night fine, but I felt like I needed to on Saturday night because we were preing and about to leave and she got a call to say that one of her friends from back home had committed suicide and I couldn't exactly be like oh give me money because obviously I feel bad.
    Now she's pestering me to go out again tonight, which I'm first of all like this is destructive behaviour, and second of all she knows that I will pay for everything again, I even jokingly when she says 'our drink' or 'we' go you mean mine, or this is on my dime and she just laughs and still doesn't say anything.

    It's not even that I offer, it's just expected and standard, so now she keeps asking to go out and I'm like oh you just go, or go with someone else, but obvs she wont because she has no money and no one will pay for her. Idk what to do, like she's my best friend and we live together.
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    (Original post by ayelmao)
    So my flatmate keeps bugging me to go out with her tonight, bearing in mind we went out on Friday & Saturday and on both of those nights I paid for everything, entry fees, ubers, pres drinks, mixers, cups, drinks in the club and even food after the club because she always has no money - but this isn't even one of those things that she evens says oh I'll owe you or pay you back which she always does.

    Like if it was the one night fine, but I felt like I needed to on Saturday night because we were preing and about to leave and she got a call to say that one of her friends from back home had committed suicide and I couldn't exactly be like oh give me money because obviously I feel bad.
    Now she's pestering me to go out again tonight, which I'm first of all like this is destructive behaviour, and second of all she knows that I will pay for everything again, I even jokingly when she says 'our drink' or 'we' go you mean mine, or this is on my dime and she just laughs and still doesn't say anything.

    It's not even that I offer, it's just expected and standard, so now she keeps asking to go out and I'm like oh you just go, or go with someone else, but obvs she wont because she has no money and no one will pay for her. Idk what to do, like she's my best friend and we live together.
    Sack her off, she isn't a friend if you think shes using you.
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY
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    (Original post by ayelmao)
    So my flatmate keeps bugging me to go out with her tonight, bearing in mind we went out on Friday & Saturday and on both of those nights I paid for everything, entry fees, ubers, pres drinks, mixers, cups, drinks in the club and even food after the club because she always has no money - but this isn't even one of those things that she evens says oh I'll owe you or pay you back which she always does.

    Like if it was the one night fine, but I felt like I needed to on Saturday night because we were preing and about to leave and she got a call to say that one of her friends from back home had committed suicide and I couldn't exactly be like oh give me money because obviously I feel bad.
    Now she's pestering me to go out again tonight, which I'm first of all like this is destructive behaviour, and second of all she knows that I will pay for everything again, I even jokingly when she says 'our drink' or 'we' go you mean mine, or this is on my dime and she just laughs and still doesn't say anything.

    It's not even that I offer, it's just expected and standard, so now she keeps asking to go out and I'm like oh you just go, or go with someone else, but obvs she wont because she has no money and no one will pay for her. Idk what to do, like she's my best friend and we live together.
    Ngl She doesn’t sound like a friend nor a person you should be friends with. She’s a user and will assume people will take the role of money bag and cater for her for the rest of her life. It’s tragic. I would distance yourself from her and see how she reacts - if she’s found a new money bag it’s unlikely she will care
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    Then stop paying for her and tell her to get a grip? Jesusss
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    (Original post by Lily048)
    Ngl She doesn’t sound like a friend nor a person you should be friends with. She’s a user and will assume people will take the role of money bag and cater for her for the rest of her life. It’s tragic. I would distance yourself from her and see how she reacts - if she’s found a new money bag it’s unlikely she will care
    I can't exactly distance myself from her when we live together, just me and her in our flat. And to be fair she has always paid me back except if it's for things around the flat which I have always bought, toilet roll bin bags ect because she never has any money and obvs I need them also, it's just now with this clubbing thing there's no thought or hint of this being something she needs to pay back, she'll be like oh thanks for a nice night out as if I said I was treating her from the start.
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    (Original post by ayelmao)
    I can't exactly distance myself from her when we live together, just me and her in our flat. And to be fair she has always paid me back except if it's for things around the flat which I have always bought, toilet roll bin bags ect because she never has any money and obvs I need them also, it's just now with this clubbing thing there's no thought or hint of this being something she needs to pay back, she'll be like oh thanks for a nice night out as if I said I was treating her from the start.
    Say hey, I don't think its fair that I keep paying for everything. I don't have much money either(wether this is true or not).
    Next time she suggests it, be like yeah sure as long as you pay as its me everytime. Just discuss the situation
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    Just tell her. You can start with a hint e.g. 'sorry can't tonight, I don't have enough money' and see if she gets it or just go straight for the honesty 'I'd love to go out but I can't afford to pay for both of us, do you have some money'. If the rest of the friendship is good give her a chance, it's possible she genuinely thinks this is working for you.
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    If you don't want to properly confront her about it, which I understand would be awkward as you live together, just say "I can't really go out, I've got no money myself"

    If you're feeling a bit brave ask if there's any chance she can pay you back for the nights out before as well
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    Don't go out for a while xD
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    (Original post by The Night King)
    Then stop paying for her and tell her to get a grip? Jesusss
    PRSOM. It's really not difficult to either stop paying for someone or ask them for the money. If you don't want to pay then don't pay. If you want the money back then ask for it.

    Hell if someone can't even afford to pay for their own night out, they shouldn't be going out to begin with.
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    Tell her no unless she can afford to pay herself.

    She does this because she knows you'll pay for her.
 
 
 
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