Ok so this is new to me but I’m running out of ideas.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year and he means the absolute world to me, I love him to pieces and I know I want a future with him. I’ve been feeling like I’m on a downward spiral for a few months now and suspect it’s depression coming back as I suffered a few years ago from it. I’ve never been able to open up to anyone about it before but with my boyfriend I can as he is the person I trust the most. But now it’s getting too much for him as things are taken out on him. There’s no way in hell I would purposely hurt him but it’s like my mind goes into this frenzy and I can’t help what I say to him. I make tiny things into massive arguments and get so angry and I know I’m pushing him away but I can’t help it. My mind goes into a meltdown and it’s uncontrollable.
Last night he rang me and told me it was over after an explosive argument on Sunday and after I went to him and we talked things through, he’s decided to give it another week without seeing me to see how he feels. It’s been killing me to go through this, I can’t lose him, he means too much and I fear it’s going to massively affect my mental health. I’ve booked an appointment with the doctors, I’ve spoken to more people, I’ve taken on board things he has told me and I’ve explained that I will make more effort with him, I will do anything to make us work. What else can I do as all that’s in my head is that it will be over this time next week 😥😥
How are you feeling?