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Just took a break from my gf...how can I make her value and miss me? watch

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    I posted earlier about my gf standing me up. She has been very crappy to me for a while now but I know that she does really love me. I had enough of being walked over and took some advice and tonight and told her that I need a break to reconnect with myself etc, and then I blocked her fb account and number.

    The thing is, I really want to be with her...but the relationship has been toxic lately and I am very depressed about it. I want her to value me like she used to. I am hoping that by removing myself from her that I will learn to love myself again and also that she will in time miss me. Any tips for how I should approach this?
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Hurtandconfused)
    I posted earlier about my gf standing me up. She has been very crappy to me for a while now but I know that she does really love me. I had enough of being walked over and took some advice and tonight and told her that I need a break to reconnect with myself etc, and then I blocked her fb account and number.

    The thing is, I really want to be with her...but the relationship has been toxic lately and I am very depressed about it. I want her to value me like she used to. I am hoping that by removing myself from her that I will learn to love myself again and also that she will in time miss me. Any tips for how I should approach this?
    Firstly, well done for going on a break and blocking her. I'm glad you've taken action.
    Honestly you just need to put yourself first and let yourself grow as a person. Once you start loving yourself again you'll actually realise you don't even need or want her. She may come crawling back and say she misses you which will be great to hear of course, but hopefully the break will give you the step back you need to actually see how much you don't need someone so toxic in your life. And so when she does come running, you can say no because you deserve better.
    My tips would be just do not contact her. Live your life for yourself, don't be immature and post loads of sc stories and pics of you out and about. But still go out and have fun and don't message her. She needs to see you as high value again, and be the guy she was initially attracted to. Not the needy guy with no other life apart from his gf.
    How long are you planning on going on a break for? Honestly I don't think she'll come to her senses anytime soon. You may both make up again but I don't think she's actually going to change. She'll be back to her old self in a matter of weeks and at this point you'll just be thinking 'oh thank god I've got her again, I can't let her go'.
    Should a relationship really be worth all this stress? It shouldn't be this hard. There shouldn't be this many obstacles and differences between you. These traits of hers aren't going to go away in a matter of months.

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    I've had my heart broken twice, both times didn't see it coming as there was no argument. After the breakups irl, I never messaged them again I just carried on with my own life. Obviously I still thought about them and some of my actions had them in mind but it was kind of motivation to make myself an even better person so they could see what they were missing out on. I started living my life more partly because I wanted to prove to them that I was fine without them. But it did also actually work to make myself feel better. Eventually both of them came running back and wanted to give things another go (obvs separate occasions), and I was ofc very pleased to see they wanted me back. Definitely an ego boost. But by this point, and hopefully you'll experience this as well, I realised I didn't actually need them in my life anymore. And I could see their faults and that it wasn't going to work out long term. They weren't marriage material and my life didn't have space for people like that.
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    Woah steady on this isn't the right direction! You don't need to be valued or missed by her, you need to move on and find someone who isn't trash.
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    If she values and misses you then she'll do something about it, you can't MAKE her do or feel anything.
    • #2
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    You did the right thing taking a break, it was smart. The last thing you need is to start losing who you are over a girl.
    If the relationship started becoming toxic, maybe you guys aren't right for each other and need to possibly call it quits and just move on with your lives. Even though it sounds rough and difficult, in the long run, it may be for the better.
    Another option is maybe to give it some time and when you're ready, sit down with her and have a chat about how you both feel and where it's gonna go.
 
 
 
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