Sorry for such a long post!
I'm having a dilemma with my current relationship and the looming premise of university; I've recently applied to and firmed my choices, and I'm pretty sure I know exactly where I want to go to do what - I just need to get the grades now. The issue I'm having is that I am currently in a relationship (with another girl, it's a same-sex relationship).
We have been dating for over a year now and I'm definitive she's very much in love with me, meaning that there is absolutely no slither of a chance she would or could ever cheat - the problem is, she's not going to university for another year, instead doing a foundation course at home. We have spent significant periods of time (e.g.: three months, long story) apart in the past, so I'm not too concerned about physically not seeing her - I know she'd want to visit as often as possible anyway.
With me going away - to a university that is an hour or so commute by train - I'm really worried that I will not only feel isolated at university due to and specifically because of my currently highly active sex life dropping off, but will I feel enticed into wanting to cheat on her?
My question is: is it common for people in loving and strengthened relationships to go to university away from their partner, and end up cheating or breaking up?
My parents - who are both significantly against our relationship - have told me to just simply break up with her and that I'll be wasting my university life. However I can't tell if this is simply because of their dislike of our relationship or if it is - as I have read in most places - simply the truth. Will I be sabotaging my university 'life' by being in what will ultimately become a long-distance relationship? How much will my sex life be affected?
I'd really appreciate any insight from people who have been through - or know someone who has been through - such a circumstance. I understand it's a very personal and complex question to answer, but I'd like to know what has happened to other people. I'm really in a rough boat here. It would absolutely break her heart to tell her I don't love her (and I do) but is it stupid of me to even try and assume that we could continue it?
Thank you if you read to the bottom.
Best wishes.
x
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- 14-03-2018 19:51
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alicesmiloves
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- 14-03-2018 20:26
You have something good going on here. You are in a good relationship with your girlfriend and she loves you and respects you and is willing to do the commute to see you. I think you shouldn't let that go, Uni is great and you meet a lot of people but it is not worth you cutting off a relationship if you are happy with it. Long distance will strengthen a relationship, and yeah maybe you're sexual life will take a toll a bit but if you put the effort and so does she, than that won't matter as long as you get to enjoy time with her at the end of the day. You're lucky that you guys are only one hour or so away from each other, for me I have to travel outside the country for 4-5 hours to get to my bf. Go into Uni and see how you feel the first few weeks and than go from there.
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xx!Anonymous!xx
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- 14-03-2018 20:33
If you really loved her, you wouldn't have an urge to cheat on her! Also when you are apart for a while, you miss each other more and when you see each other again you will be attracted to her more.
Just a little tip: If your relationship is significant, then OF COURSE focus on uni but I am sure you will find time and make time for her in your daily schedule -
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- 15-03-2018 07:52
(Original post by alicesmiloves)
You have something good going on here. You are in a good relationship with your girlfriend and she loves you and respects you and is willing to do the commute to see you. I think you shouldn't let that go, Uni is great and you meet a lot of people but it is not worth you cutting off a relationship if you are happy with it. Long distance will strengthen a relationship, and yeah maybe you're sexual life will take a toll a bit but if you put the effort and so does she, than that won't matter as long as you get to enjoy time with her at the end of the day. You're lucky that you guys are only one hour or so away from each other, for me I have to travel outside the country for 4-5 hours to get to my bf. Go into Uni and see how you feel the first few weeks and than go from there. -
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- 15-03-2018 08:13
I am in college final year uni in September. My bf lives over a hour drive and its a 3 hour train journey. He work's all week and I only see him at weekends. It is really hard not seeing him all week sometimes its up to 3 weeks but it's worth the wait. I love him and it makes seeing him more special. Its worth the wait because it gets to the weekend and all I want to do is hug him n have him there. It can work. Been working for me for 10 months now.
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Updated: March 15, 2018
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