When I was at school in Year 10, I met this girl in one of my classes. We instantly got on very well and quickly became friends and sometimes hung out at break as well. Then in sixth form we started confiding in each other on more personal matters as well as general chats, and we became even closer as a result and started hanging out with each other a lot more in breaks and lunches, and outside school as well on some occasions. We’ve always been there for each other through thick and thin, and to this day, we’ve never had a single serious argument.
We obviously couldn’t see each other in person as much as before, once we started at different universities a couple of years later, but she called me a few days after we’d settled in, and that quickly turned into an unofficial ritual of calling each other once every two days before it became every day.
By the time I started university though, I realised and acknowledged to myself that I liked her a lot more than just a friend, and at its peak, it was fair to say I was in love with her. One night, I told her all this in a message, and she responded thanking me for telling her but that she didn’t feel the same way. I was a little worried that this would create an awkward atmosphere between us, but the next day on FaceTime, we talked about it for around two minutes and then things just went completely back to normal again. I think the swift return to normality and the fact that there was no awkwardness felt from either of us, really said a lot about the strength of our relationship.
I was able to get over my feelings and we carried on talking to each other as normal for most days for the following two years, and we’re now both in our final years at our respective universities. In that time, I’ve accepted that, despite how close we are and the personal intimacy of some of our conversations, our relationship is nothing more than two very good, loyal friends. However, despite this, and particularly recently, pretty much everyone else that knows us is convinced that in fact something more is going on and that she might, deep down, indeed like me more than a friend, and when really thinking about their arguments, it makes sense.
Today, we call and message every day (there are occasional days when we don’t have any communication at all for whatever reason, but these are few and far between) and she tends to call me first most of the time. Sometimes we’ve called multiple times in a day, and for long periods of time as well, ranging anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour and a half at a time. And some of the time, we literally have nothing to talk about, in which cases we just laugh and gossip about rubbish, and it’s almost for the sake of just spending some time with each other, which is nice, and we really do enjoy each other’s company.
Pretty much everyone I’ve met who doesn’t know her, but whom I’ve explained the nature of our friendship to, genuinely struggle to understand why we’re not already together and to them, it doesn’t compute that she doesn’t have feelings for me in some way.
The same can be said for our other friends from school who do know us both well. They say the same thing about the frequency of our calls, but also about her other behaviour around me. I’ve been told she mentions me a lot to other people that know us and think she acts funny around me in person at gatherings. She can be quite awkward about physical contact with me (the most she ever seems comfortable to do is hug me hello and goodbye) but we nevertheless have a great laugh whenever we see each other. Though, she has very occasionally kissed me on the cheek as, what’s supposed to be, special treats and rewards. The first time was on my birthday as a surprise, and the last time, which was only a few months ago, was for downing a drink whole at a party (something I’m not good at). Even some of our silliest friends have had serious conversations with me saying that they genuinely think she might secretly have feelings for me, and that they think she would get jealous if I ever got into a relationship with someone.
I would have probably thought this about her myself, was it not for the fact that despite this, she adamantly insists that we’re nothing more than friends, and is literally the only person who doesn’t think we should get together.
I have to say that, deep down, I do still really like her, and I know I’d be incredibly happy to be with her in that way and hearing all these serious opinions from some of my closest friends, really puts things into perspective for me. But given that she’s the only one that profusely denies it, I don’t know. What do you guys think?
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Everyone says my friend likes me, but I don't know what to think? watch
- Thread Starter
People looking at the friendship from the outside will never understand how it works. It is still believed that a guy and a girl can not be extremely good friends without both having 'feelings' for one another. However this is rarely the case, she has clearly stated that she only sees you as a friend and I think that says everything you need to know. Maybe take a step back from her and distant yourself. I don't mean stop talking to her or being friends but just not as much. This way you can sort your own mind out and it ight make her realise if she has anything beynd friendship with you.
However, unfortunately I believe she just sees you as a friend and other people will never understand that until one of you is in a relationship with someone else entirely.