I know it feels that nobody wants to be your friend, but it's not true so stop thinking that. Just because a person makes friends with others, it doesn't mean that they are not your friends. If you were to make some friends, but one of your friends said you cant have anymore friends, how would you feel to be controlled by someone? You need to slowly start talking to people and put yourself out there. You can start by introducing yourself and talk about things that interests you. Make sure you listen to the other person and take their feelings and ideas into consideration.
As you said you plan on joining university this year, i would suggest joining a society, you do not have to have the first thing that comes out your mouth be 'I have autism'. The first time you enter university and go to the first society in which you are excited for, this could be sports, games or the subjest you are learning. The majority of students that starts university do not have a close group of friends yet and they are trying to create on in fresher week. everyone is in the same boat and there will be others that are or even more nervious then you. University is so diverse that I am sure you will find friends. I can not say I have the same problem but I know friends that only hanged out with me and now in university they have more then me xD. If you still feel uncomfortable about having autism then i am also sure there are communities that have this struggle which come together to make friends. I hope this helps and i'm sure you will find friends that will make you truely happy in university.
For the person who said that autism has nothing to do with maintaining friends, that’s completely UNTRUE and LAUGHABLE. Just type in “no friends autism” on google and you will have streams of forums coming up with autistic people asking similar things to this question, like “why will nobody be my friend” “will I have to be alone forever?”. The triad of impairments for autism include social communication and lots of research say this is the biggest most impactful impairment. So think before saying that “autism has nothing to do with making friends”. Autism is confusing and scary and I suggest to those who commented and comment in the future, to give the autistic person respect, patience and avoid any rudeness or intense probing/questioning. We need compassion, acknowledgement and attempts at understanding. If you don’t have autism you will never understand what it’s is like to live with it everyday for the rest of your life, even if you have a sibling or someone close to you affected by it. The isolation factor is incredibly difficult and terrifying - it is the general consensus that in life, relationships are needed to thrive - a lot of people with autism don’t have this. It can be for lots of reasons: inability to understand and relate to the autistic person, the inability of the autistic person to understand the other person, some people with autism are deemed as controlling, as highlighted in the question (by the way, I’m with you on this, I’ve lost a lot of people because of this). I feel for you so much and relate more than you will ever know. I found this question searching on the internet, because I felt unbearably alone. I’m 20 now, and this war with friendships and relationships hasn’t ended, it’s got even harder. I can’t stay at university because of it, I can’t connect to anyone, or talk to anyone on my course, because they immediately view me as being a loner already. I can’t do some basic things that I’m asked to do. It’s too hard for me and just outright frustrating. I don’t know where this leaves me. I’d love to speak to you privately. I don’t use this, just made an account to respond, but if you message me on here I will give you my personal details. I realise this was 10 months ago, I hope you have managed to make friends at uni! I’m proud of you, you’re very brave. ❤️
Last edited by otoile; 1 week ago