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Black girl dating an Asian

I need some advice I am dating An Asian guy for 8 months now everything is going well we are even talking about marriage but the problem is that his parents might not accept me that’s what he said I told him I’d be really love me he should be firm with his parents and tell them but I think he is afraid to tell his parents so he is hidden all his emotions inside him he told me he is afraid of what his parents might say of dating a black girl, they might disown him because they own a family business so they want him to marry an Asian girl. now his parents are talking about marriage they want him to marry next year because all his brother and sister are married. So I told him if you are getting married by next tour I am leaving you then there is no need to waste my time or yours he said he loves me loves me he doesn’t want to leave me
Felt like I was spitting bars reading that. Full stops dude...

Tbh the only option right now is to tell his parents and just see what they say.
Reply 2
tbh OP you were naive to expect his parents would accept him dating a black girl..

The vast majority of Asian parents will not be ok with their child dating a black person.

You should always expect such a relationship to cause conflict with the parents and be prepared for that.., if it is essential for you that your bf's parents like you then you're best off sticking to your own race as with dating other races it is probable the parents won't be that keen on it
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 3
Thanks for your advices guys we went our separate way but I told him I will never forgive him, because he promised too marry me, but he broke that promise, I told him that you won’t go Scot free for this because I feel used by him
Original post by Helen2838
Thanks for your advices guys we went our separate way but I told him I will never forgive him, because he promised too marry me, but he broke that promise, I told him that you won’t go Scot free for this because I feel used by him


Yh OP! You tell him and his parents he is a haramie. They will sort him out
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Yh OP! You tell him and his parents he is a haramie. They will sort him out

What the meaning of haramie
Lol 😂
Original post by Helen2838
What the meaning of haramie
Lol 😂


Someone who commits sin in the eyes of the Ummah...or something like that.

Btw, my next door neighbours are a mixed race couple. I think Muslim Asian guy and Muslim(?) black girl (think she's somali). So yeh, even if it is very rare, they do exist and are living happily. From what you've stated, your BF might be a bit too dependent on his family (financially?) and Asian parents usually raise their kids with the mindset of being with them for the rest of their life (with the exception of daughters). It is a mental crisis for him, and then probably financial situation as well.
Reply 7
Original post by JDieMstr
Someone who commits sin in the eyes of the Ummah...or something like that.

Btw, my next door neighbours are a mixed race couple. I think Muslim Asian guy and Muslim(?) black girl (think she's somali). So yeh, even if it is very rare, they do exist and are living happily. From what you've stated, your BF might be a bit too dependent on his family (financially?) and Asian parents usually raise their kids with the mindset of being with them for the rest of their life (with the exception of daughters). It is a mental crisis for him, and then probably financial situation as well.


Yes that’s true he lives in their house Mum cooks for him and all the financials he told me if he leaves he will loose everything. And the Mum is treating him. As I said I will never forgive him. He put me in soo much pain I should forgive him but not for this one. I believe he will get his punishment.
Original post by Helen2838
Yes that’s true he lives in their house Mum cooks for him and all the financials he told me if he leaves he will loose everything. And the Mum is treating him. As I said I will never forgive him. He put me in soo much pain I should forgive him but not for this one. I believe he will get his punishment.


So...are you guys like over 25? If he doesn't have a full time job or isn't in a position where he can get one, it's gonna be one rocky road for both of you. If he can't convince his parents, then there is little to do, I'm afraid.
Reply 9
Original post by JDieMstr
So...are you guys like over 25? If he doesn't have a full time job or isn't in a position where he can get one, it's gonna be one rocky road for both of you. If he can't convince his parents, then there is little to do, I'm afraid.

I am 22 he is 24 he doesn’t have qualifications he said when he was young he had bad friends and did bad things , and he dropped out of school soooo he owns a Asian clothing store in ilford his with his dad he said he regret that he did not study he was was thinking of opening his own business but is not easy he doesn’t have that money to open his own business so he needs to listen too their wishes 🙄
If hes not serious about this relationship then there is no point you staying. Hes not worth your time; if you both see that its going nowhere then there is no point in continuing. If he really loved you then this wouldnt be an issue; I understand it must be hard for him, living in an Asian family, especially when he is heavily dependent on them. If the reason is that hes scared of losing that financial backing then maybe he should get his act together and find a job or join a course or something- for your sake. Thats what I would do. Then that gets rid of that issue. Sit down and discuss this with him thoroughly-both your futures are at stake.
Reply 11
He said he is ashamed of it and sad that he can’t marry someone he really likes. I told him is his fault because he act different in front of his parents. He could have done something about it but he is too afraid to express his feelings to tell his parents that this is what he wants
He needs to understand that he is an adult and he doesn't have to listen to his parents because either way they will accept it later on
Reply 13
Original post by beach700
He needs to understand that he is an adult and he doesn't have to listen to his parents because either way they will accept it later on


Exactly but he is worried about losing things I said your parents wants you to make them happy but you can’t be happy 🙄👀
Original post by Helen2838
Exactly but he is worried about losing things I said your parents wants you to make them happy but you can’t be happy 🙄👀

The only way to solve this is if one or the either accepts it for what it is and that is tough
Reply 15
Original post by beach700
The only way to solve this is if one or the either accepts it for what it is and that is tough


True
Original post by Helen2838
True

Do you accept him for who he is?
Original post by Helen2838
I am 22 he is 24 he doesn’t have qualifications he said when he was young he had bad friends and did bad things , and he dropped out of school soooo he owns a Asian clothing store in ilford his with his dad he said he regret that he did not study he was was thinking of opening his own business but is not easy he doesn’t have that money to open his own business so he needs to listen too their wishes 🙄


"bad friends" is an overused excuse for flopping these days. Anyway, from this, it can be said that his mentality/personality was/is still weak, easily influenced and ignorant (sorry if you take offence on his behalf). I wonder what even attracted you to such guy but since you're in deep mud with him, I suggest that you go straight to his house/parents and confront them. Ask them why they are against you marrying their son (and believe me, they will spit some next level BS backward country racism towards you, in the name of culture, tradition and religion). This is the only thing you can do to solve things quick and efficiently coz your man (boy) ain't gonna do shiz from the looks of it.
Reply 18
Original post by JDieMstr
"bad friends" is an overused excuse for flopping these days. Anyway, from this, it can be said that his mentality/personality was/is still weak, easily influenced and ignorant (sorry if you take offence on his behalf). I wonder what even attracted you to such guy but since you're in deep mud with him, I suggest that you go straight to his house/parents and confront them. Ask them why they are against you marrying their son (and believe me, they will spit some next level BS backward country racism towards you, in the name of culture, tradition and religion). This is the only thing you can do to solve things quick and efficiently coz your man (boy) ain't gonna do shiz from the looks of it.


You know what attracted me about him is how genuine he is and he is handsome lol. What a shame that he can’t marrry a outsider I told him he should stand up and be a man

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