IDK HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS please help

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Anonymous #1
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okay so basically i have this friend yh...i love her to bits. recently in her life she has been going through a whole lot of sh*t and its ongoing. she tells me all her problems as friends are always suppose to be there for you so i listen and give her advice. whilst hearing all her problems it makes me feel appreciative that i dont have all those problems going on but for some reason i've also started feeling solemn and depressed coz of her problems. weve spoken to a teacher about it(about her problems...not my feelings) after i forced her too and the teacher is helping her but i'm the only person she tells everything to as i am on her level. btw i'm in yr 11 and shes in yr 10. i need to focus on my gcses and i feel as tho she has become too reliant on me. like when i leave school what is she gonna do? sure. she has loads of friends....but i'm the only one she tells evrything too as she looks up to me as a big sis as she doesnt have one. back to how i'm feeling...i always feel upset by her problems but i cant just push her away and tell her stop telling me as thats what friends are for right? she is always crying and i dont want to go depper into if i'm not there.(btw its not one of those situations in which she can call childline...her upbringing and background is very different so that is a NO GO ZONE) Anyways idk how to deal with my feelings anymore. i've started to spend less time on the platform she messages me on as to ignore her but then i feeel bad. please help.
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Thepizzawaffle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
okay so basically i have this friend yh...i love her to bits. recently in her life she has been going through a whole lot of sh*t and its ongoing. she tells me all her problems as friends are always suppose to be there for you so i listen and give her advice. whilst hearing all her problems it makes me feel appreciative that i dont have all those problems going on but for some reason i've also started feeling solemn and depressed coz of her problems. weve spoken to a teacher about it(about her problems...not my feelings) after i forced her too and the teacher is helping her but i'm the only person she tells everything to as i am on her level. btw i'm in yr 11 and shes in yr 10. i need to focus on my gcses and i feel as tho she has become too reliant on me. like when i leave school what is she gonna do? sure. she has loads of friends....but i'm the only one she tells evrything too as she looks up to me as a big sis as she doesnt have one. back to how i'm feeling...i always feel upset by her problems but i cant just push her away and tell her stop telling me as thats what friends are for right? she is always crying and i dont want to go depper into if i'm not there.(btw its not one of those situations in which she can call childline...her upbringing and background is very different so that is a NO GO ZONE) Anyways idk how to deal with my feelings anymore. i've started to spend less time on the platform she messages me on as to ignore her but then i feeel bad. please help.
Why is it a no go zone?
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Anonymous #1
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[QUOTE=Thepizzawaffle;76654808]Why is it a no go zone

Firstly she doesnt even have her own phone...and secondly shes too afraid to speak to people about it. even if they dont know her and wont judge her. also she wouldnt want her parent to know that shes telling someone every but of ish that is going on in her family.
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ruby_zara
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It sounds wonderful that you are such a supportive friend to her but friendships are about you BOTH making each other feel the best you possibly can and picking each other up and if it is constantly one sided, understandably its going to take its toll and the nature of the friendship is going to have changed. Your GCSE's are super important and you mustn't sacrifice those. Obviously it depends on the nature of these problems she struggles with but there are self help resources out there as well that would mean she doesn't have to talk to someone like childline to make it accessible in an easier way to her. I will try and dig some of those out if you think it will be worth it. For now I would try and say have that time with her where you try and make her feel better but maybe try not to let all of it become about constantly hashing out all her struggles. Talking about it is super important don't get me wrong but if she can try and find something positive and enjoyable that kinda takes her mind off of it but just kinda brings her entire mood up. As for you I would say have that time with her but when your away from her and spending time with family or whatever, save some of that time for yourself if possible, where your mind is set free a little bit and maybe avoid these platforms which you associate with her. It sounds like quite a difficult situation and completely understandably these people without meaning to can be quite a draining presence and what your having to do is very mature and a lot to ask for someone of your age I'm guessing.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Thepizzawaffle)
Why is it a no go zone?
Firstly she doesnt even have her own phone...and secondly shes too afraid to speak to people about it. even if they dont know her and wont judge her. also she wouldnt want her parent to know that shes telling someone every but of ish that is going on in her family.
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Thepizzawaffle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Firstly she doesnt even have her own phone...and secondly shes too afraid to speak to people about it. even if they dont know her and wont judge her. also she wouldnt want her parent to know that shes telling someone every but of ish that is going on in her family.
It was the same for me but you have computers at school right? Childline has a message live thing so you don’t actually talk you type everything to someone and they can give you advice.. maybe just tell her she needs to let you focus on exams for a bit and that you know she’s struggling but you also are feeling a bit off and this year is seriously important for you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ruby_zara)
It sounds wonderful that you are such a supportive friend to her but friendships are about you BOTH making each other feel the best you possibly can and picking each other up and if it is constantly one sided, understandably its going to take its toll and the nature of the friendship is going to have changed. Your GCSE's are super important and you mustn't sacrifice those. Obviously it depends on the nature of these problems she struggles with but there are self help resources out there as well that would mean she doesn't have to talk to someone like childline to make it accessible in an easier way to her. I will try and dig some of those out if you think it will be worth it. For now I would try and say have that time with her where you try and make her feel better but maybe try not to let all of it become about constantly hashing out all her struggles. Talking about it is super important don't get me wrong but if she can try and find something positive and enjoyable that kinda takes her mind off of it but just kinda brings her entire mood up. As for you I would say have that time with her but when your away from her and spending time with family or whatever, save some of that time for yourself if possible, where your mind is set free a little bit and maybe avoid these platforms which you associate with her. It sounds like quite a difficult situation and completely understandably these people without meaning to can be quite a draining presence and what your having to do is very mature and a lot to ask for someone of your age I'm guessing.
yep I try my best to talk about stuff that aren't negative to get her mind off things and make her smile. she is there for me when I need her but I mean who wants to dump the little problems you have in your life on someone who can barely manage their own big ones. so yeah I get what u mean by one sided. thankfully I do have other friends who I know I wont be a burden upon if I talk to them about my problems. yes could you please find some resources that would help? and hahah yeah I guess I am quite mature for a 16 year old lol.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Thepizzawaffle)
It was the same for me but you have computers at school right? Childline has a message live thing so you don’t actually talk you type everything to someone and they can give you advice.. maybe just tell her she needs to let you focus on exams for a bit and that you know she’s struggling but you also are feeling a bit off and this year is seriously important for you.
yeah we do and she has one at home. could you please send me the link for the live thing please? yeah I really do need to focus on my gcses so I hope any other resources will be equally helpful. Thanks in advance x
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Thepizzawaffle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah we do and she has one at home. could you please send me the link for the live thing please? yeah I really do need to focus on my gcses so I hope any other resources will be equally helpful. Thanks in advance x
https://www.childline.org.uk/get-sup...unsellor-chat/ there’s the link you have to enter the waiting room and it can take a while depending on the time you want to talk. Hope it helps xx
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Thepizzawaffle
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P.s if you need someone to talk to just PM me I’ll try and help
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ruby_zara
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yep I try my best to talk about stuff that aren't negative to get her mind off things and make her smile. she is there for me when I need her but I mean who wants to dump the little problems you have in your life on someone who can barely manage their own big ones. so yeah I get what u mean by one sided. thankfully I do have other friends who I know I wont be a burden upon if I talk to them about my problems. yes could you please find some resources that would help? and hahah yeah I guess I am quite mature for a 16 year old lol.
A really good site is moodjuice, hopefully there is something on there which is accessible to her depending on her situtation
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JasmineP123
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Just be honest with her and explain how you feel. Make sure you’re clear and explain it’s not because you don’t want to help but more because you need to make sure she has others to talk to - suggest her maybe opening up to someone else so that it’s not just you.
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Anonymous #1
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[QUOTE=Thepizzawaffle;76656592]P.s if you need someone to talk to just PM me I’ll try and help[/Q

just sent her the link.....hopefully she makes the most of it as it seems really helpful. and Awhh thanks and will do if I need advice lol x
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Thepizzawaffle)
P.s if you need someone to talk to just PM me I’ll try and help

just sent her the link.....hopefully she makes the most of it as it seems really helpful. and Awhh thanks and will do if I need advice lol x
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