This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Are there any bi or lesbian girls in Portsmouth??
- 28M
- I feel like i'm falling behind
- Sex in Manchester...
- This guy just called me ugly on a dating app
- I can't decide whether to go to prom, please help me!! It's in 3 days.
- loser
- What to do on the first date?
- Can some one mark this small essay i did out of 30 for gcse a christmas carol
- Chemistry mcq help please
- Feeling disillusioned at central saint martins
- Urgent a level chem help!!!
- I’m gay hot but not straight hot
- lonely forever ???
- 22 yo uni students virgin never had a gf
- What are the girls at Imperial like?
- how do I get boyfreind if i am ugly
- Bonding A level Chem - Help
- Unlovable/ feeing ugly.
- Being bullied in my dreams
Ugly Gay And Lonely - Please Help!
As my title explains I am ugly gay and lonely. Which I guess you would have heard so many times before but I really think I need some advice.
I am a 17-year-old guy and I’m gay. And I have 3 main problems:
1 – I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been on a date with a guy, I have never kissed a guy, and I have never had any form of sex either. This is also true for girls and me.
2 – I do believe that I am ugly. This is the main reason why I believe my 1st point is true. In that I must be ugly because if I was the slightest bit attractive, I surly should have had a boyfriend. Also being ugly has made me have no confidence either, which again is another reason I fell I have never had boyfriend.
3 – I am very lonely. I say this because firstly, I have never had a boyfriend, but also I don’t really have that many friends. I don’t talk to people at my school, I don’t hang out with anyone at lunch or sit with people in lessons. And I have only ever been out ONE Friday night EVER, I have never been out on a Saturday. I don’t go to parties, get drunk, or doing anything all other teenagers do.
So there you go, pretty much sucks don’t you think. I kind of see it all us one big circle, in that I don’t go out, therefore I don’t meet guys, so I don’t get boyfriends. Also I’m ugly so I don’t get boyfriends, so I don’t go out and spent Friday night with them, etc. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.
Well that’s all I have to say! I would really appreciate ANY advice that people can give me.
I am a 17-year-old guy and I’m gay. And I have 3 main problems:
1 – I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been on a date with a guy, I have never kissed a guy, and I have never had any form of sex either. This is also true for girls and me.
2 – I do believe that I am ugly. This is the main reason why I believe my 1st point is true. In that I must be ugly because if I was the slightest bit attractive, I surly should have had a boyfriend. Also being ugly has made me have no confidence either, which again is another reason I fell I have never had boyfriend.
3 – I am very lonely. I say this because firstly, I have never had a boyfriend, but also I don’t really have that many friends. I don’t talk to people at my school, I don’t hang out with anyone at lunch or sit with people in lessons. And I have only ever been out ONE Friday night EVER, I have never been out on a Saturday. I don’t go to parties, get drunk, or doing anything all other teenagers do.
So there you go, pretty much sucks don’t you think. I kind of see it all us one big circle, in that I don’t go out, therefore I don’t meet guys, so I don’t get boyfriends. Also I’m ugly so I don’t get boyfriends, so I don’t go out and spent Friday night with them, etc. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.
Well that’s all I have to say! I would really appreciate ANY advice that people can give me.
Scroll to see replies
Go out.
Meet people.
Start talking to people in your lessons, and at lunch.
Only you can make these things happen for yourself. And you know that.
So instead of wallowing in misery and posting here go out and do something.
I'm sure you'll find that in a very short time you'll feel a lot happier, more confident and attractive.
Meet people.
Start talking to people in your lessons, and at lunch.
Only you can make these things happen for yourself. And you know that.
So instead of wallowing in misery and posting here go out and do something.
I'm sure you'll find that in a very short time you'll feel a lot happier, more confident and attractive.
May be a false steriotype but I heard that gay guys are more into bodies that faces so get down to the gym? Not having a boyfriend doesn't make you ugly either, it's probably a bit more complicated for you than for a hetero?
Larapink
To be honest you can only help yourself, by improving your own confidence. You need to love yourslef before anyone else can love you back.
Yeah. OP, you sound like you're being way too harsh on yourself. Muster up some confidence and start talking to people, gaining interests to discuss and perhaps telling jokes more or something.
Confidence is the key.
However ugly you think you are (and I'm sure you're perfectly good looking!), if you bite the bullet and get some confidence people aren't gonna notice anyway - they'll notice your nice personality instead!
If you wanna meet some new people maybe join something outside of school? And test out your new found confidence perhaps?
If you wanna meet some new people maybe join something outside of school? And test out your new found confidence perhaps?
If you're only in year 12, it isn't too late to get yourself in with groups of friends.
If you're in year 13, fair enough, friendships have been formed... but that just means lots of 18th parties!!! woo!! Go out and let your hair down.
Uni will come quicker than you know, it's a chance to reinvent yourself and be who you want to be.
OP, I know how you feel - I don't feel that attractive, and until recently I'd never had a gf, although I found out that I had a few admirers, it's just that I was so withdrawn and broody that they woudln't come out of the woodwork and admit it.
Beauty is skin deep. If you can look inside yourself and accept your lot, your confidence will return. Life is what you make it, so resolve yourslef to turn it around.
When people see that you've become more open, they'll feel more drawn to you.
If you're in year 13, fair enough, friendships have been formed... but that just means lots of 18th parties!!! woo!! Go out and let your hair down.
Uni will come quicker than you know, it's a chance to reinvent yourself and be who you want to be.
OP, I know how you feel - I don't feel that attractive, and until recently I'd never had a gf, although I found out that I had a few admirers, it's just that I was so withdrawn and broody that they woudln't come out of the woodwork and admit it.
Beauty is skin deep. If you can look inside yourself and accept your lot, your confidence will return. Life is what you make it, so resolve yourslef to turn it around.
When people see that you've become more open, they'll feel more drawn to you.
Anonymous
As my title explains I am ugly gay and lonely. Which I guess you would have heard so many times before but I really think I need some advice.
I am a 17-year-old guy and I’m gay. And I have 3 main problems:
1 – I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been on a date with a guy, I have never kissed a guy, and I have never had any form of sex either. This is also true for girls and me.
2 – I do believe that I am ugly. This is the main reason why I believe my 1st point is true. In that I must be ugly because if I was the slightest bit attractive, I surly should have had a boyfriend. Also being ugly has made me have no confidence either, which again is another reason I fell I have never had boyfriend.
3 – I am very lonely. I say this because firstly, I have never had a boyfriend, but also I don’t really have that many friends. I don’t talk to people at my school, I don’t hang out with anyone at lunch or sit with people in lessons. And I have only ever been out ONE Friday night EVER, I have never been out on a Saturday. I don’t go to parties, get drunk, or doing anything all other teenagers do.
So there you go, pretty much sucks don’t you think. I kind of see it all us one big circle, in that I don’t go out, therefore I don’t meet guys, so I don’t get boyfriends. Also I’m ugly so I don’t get boyfriends, so I don’t go out and spent Friday night with them, etc. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.
Well that’s all I have to say! I would really appreciate ANY advice that people can give me.
I am a 17-year-old guy and I’m gay. And I have 3 main problems:
1 – I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been on a date with a guy, I have never kissed a guy, and I have never had any form of sex either. This is also true for girls and me.
2 – I do believe that I am ugly. This is the main reason why I believe my 1st point is true. In that I must be ugly because if I was the slightest bit attractive, I surly should have had a boyfriend. Also being ugly has made me have no confidence either, which again is another reason I fell I have never had boyfriend.
3 – I am very lonely. I say this because firstly, I have never had a boyfriend, but also I don’t really have that many friends. I don’t talk to people at my school, I don’t hang out with anyone at lunch or sit with people in lessons. And I have only ever been out ONE Friday night EVER, I have never been out on a Saturday. I don’t go to parties, get drunk, or doing anything all other teenagers do.
So there you go, pretty much sucks don’t you think. I kind of see it all us one big circle, in that I don’t go out, therefore I don’t meet guys, so I don’t get boyfriends. Also I’m ugly so I don’t get boyfriends, so I don’t go out and spent Friday night with them, etc. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.
Well that’s all I have to say! I would really appreciate ANY advice that people can give me.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you whatsoever. The belief that you are ugly means you feel like you cant get a boyfriend, therefore your not going out of your way to find/get one. This then makes you feel like you cant get a boyfriend and this is reenforcing the belief you are ugly. You've got yourself into a vicious circle mate. You need to realise this, additionally if you feel like your ugly there are many other things you can do to make yourself feel not ugly. You could go to the gym, wear nice clothes, get a fancy hair style etc which will build your confidence up.
Secondly I think you have the idea in your head that all other people your age are out partying non stop and getting wasted. If you spent more time with other people you would realise that this is actually not the case at all. A lot of seventeen year olds suffer from shyness and its a minority that are total party goers. I think if you realised this you would feel like you were more approachable.
I hope this helps.
Kris
Well post a bloody picture up. If you really want to know whether or not you're ugly, link us to your photograph and we will (well, I certainly will) tell you.
Best way about it buddy.
Best way about it buddy.
Personality over appearance; believe it or not, not everyone is obsessed with looks. If you just be yourself and let people get to know you, it doesn't matter how you look, they're going to love you for who you are. I mean, there are some stunning people out there who have horrible personalities and it makes other think twice about them, right?
kiddranc
Gay men are notoriously shallow.
So, unfortunately you might be resigned to paying for sex. Such is life and it ain't easy!
So, unfortunately you might be resigned to paying for sex. Such is life and it ain't easy!
Oh, shush.
kiddranc
Gay men are notoriously shallow.
So, unfortunately you might be resigned to paying for sex. Such is life and it ain't easy!
So, unfortunately you might be resigned to paying for sex. Such is life and it ain't easy!
This is just below the belt.
OP, just ignore this troll - everyone hates him on here.
Kiddranc, making your stupid threads to get pretty red gems is one thing, but don't you dare try and make other people feel bad. You don't know the OP, nor have you had any experience of his situation. Stop talking bull**** and grow up. You're way out of line.
17 is still pretty young, no matter what your orientation is. There's plenty of time for these things to happen. You'll find someone who likes you for who you are, and not have to change.
That said, you should try and be a little more social. I'm not saying you should go out and get drunk every weekend, which is not the be-all and end-all of a social life. Gradually find an interest or hobby; it really can work!
That said, you should try and be a little more social. I'm not saying you should go out and get drunk every weekend, which is not the be-all and end-all of a social life. Gradually find an interest or hobby; it really can work!
Okay, I gotta give ya something, I've found, being gay myself, that guys can be more ignorant towards looks. But in my experience, if you get to know someone before you start a relationship, you start to see inner beauty (cheesy but true) and looks don't really matter. No offense, but if you put yourself down, it reflects on how people see you. If people see you being negative towards yourself then they don't get a view of you.
As for friends, you need to make the effort. You can't expect people to come to you! You need to say to yourself that you wanna change and be more socialable. Even without talking to you and seeing you, I got the impression that you aren't socialable. I don't mean to be harsh, but that the view you're giving. So forget your flaws and concentrate on the good things about yourself and then use that to meet people.
Just because you're gay, you shouldn't have low self esteem! A lot of gay people are like this, but you should say to yourself, ''I'm not gonna be like that'', and take a step back and look at yourself and pick out the good points. And don't turn around and say that there aren't any - there is always good points.
I think you just need more confidence and self esteem. I'm sure you're a good person, so let others see that!
As for friends, you need to make the effort. You can't expect people to come to you! You need to say to yourself that you wanna change and be more socialable. Even without talking to you and seeing you, I got the impression that you aren't socialable. I don't mean to be harsh, but that the view you're giving. So forget your flaws and concentrate on the good things about yourself and then use that to meet people.
Just because you're gay, you shouldn't have low self esteem! A lot of gay people are like this, but you should say to yourself, ''I'm not gonna be like that'', and take a step back and look at yourself and pick out the good points. And don't turn around and say that there aren't any - there is always good points.
I think you just need more confidence and self esteem. I'm sure you're a good person, so let others see that!
kiddranc
Gay men are notoriously shallow.
So, unfortunately you might be resigned to paying for sex. Such is life and it ain't easy!
So, unfortunately you might be resigned to paying for sex. Such is life and it ain't easy!
So true.
Well, you've answered your own question, really. If you're stuck in this circle, then the only solution is to break it - the most obvious place would be to go out on a friday/saturday.
Do you have any friends? If you do, even if it's only one or two, arrange to hang out some time, and ask them to invite one/two of their friends who you either don't know or haven't got to know properly. Depending on your self confidence / shyness (which doesn't sound too great from your post) ask them to bring only one to start with, or if you think it owuld be easier/nicer, ask them to bring more, a larger group.
This doesn't have to be on a friday/saturday evening - it could be something as quiet as grabbing a coffee - which would probably actually be a better idea for you. It will help you develop conversational skills, confidence, and just your social skills in general!
If you don't have any friends, as annoying as it probably sounds (I've read posts advising this, and even just reading it annoys me..) try to join some sort of club. Are you into sports? Sports teams normally all get on really well, probably because of the similar interest and therefore personalities (to an extent!)
Not sporty, look up what sort of things are on offer in your area... erm, there are normally things like drama, but I somehow think that's not your sort of thing? Have a look, hopefully there will be something like a film club?
Or perhaps even a charity group? I've just joined Leos, which is sort of the "baby" group off Lions - we're basically all 16 to 19 (ish!) and they organise fund raising events, but also just social events for members - maybe there's a branch in you're area? I would advise it! Or just any other charity organisation...
Maybe you could get a job? In pretty much every shop I go into, there are always a couple of people in sixth form age (which I'm guessing you are?) People I know at school have jobs in all sorts of random shops, they basically take whatever they ca get, so you're bound to find a couple of people your age. I guess an advantage of finding friends through work is that unless you're a complete d**k, which I really doubt you are, you *will* be invited to work dos etc. which will give you the socialising opportunities...Also, if you're really shy, and it's a little daunting, you can always just have little conversations, and then pretend you have to do some work, before your confidence builds up and you can get to know them well...
hmm - didn't realise this post was going to be so long, if you do manage to trudge through it, I hope you find it useful!
Do you have any friends? If you do, even if it's only one or two, arrange to hang out some time, and ask them to invite one/two of their friends who you either don't know or haven't got to know properly. Depending on your self confidence / shyness (which doesn't sound too great from your post) ask them to bring only one to start with, or if you think it owuld be easier/nicer, ask them to bring more, a larger group.
This doesn't have to be on a friday/saturday evening - it could be something as quiet as grabbing a coffee - which would probably actually be a better idea for you. It will help you develop conversational skills, confidence, and just your social skills in general!
If you don't have any friends, as annoying as it probably sounds (I've read posts advising this, and even just reading it annoys me..) try to join some sort of club. Are you into sports? Sports teams normally all get on really well, probably because of the similar interest and therefore personalities (to an extent!)
Not sporty, look up what sort of things are on offer in your area... erm, there are normally things like drama, but I somehow think that's not your sort of thing? Have a look, hopefully there will be something like a film club?
Or perhaps even a charity group? I've just joined Leos, which is sort of the "baby" group off Lions - we're basically all 16 to 19 (ish!) and they organise fund raising events, but also just social events for members - maybe there's a branch in you're area? I would advise it! Or just any other charity organisation...
Maybe you could get a job? In pretty much every shop I go into, there are always a couple of people in sixth form age (which I'm guessing you are?) People I know at school have jobs in all sorts of random shops, they basically take whatever they ca get, so you're bound to find a couple of people your age. I guess an advantage of finding friends through work is that unless you're a complete d**k, which I really doubt you are, you *will* be invited to work dos etc. which will give you the socialising opportunities...Also, if you're really shy, and it's a little daunting, you can always just have little conversations, and then pretend you have to do some work, before your confidence builds up and you can get to know them well...
hmm - didn't realise this post was going to be so long, if you do manage to trudge through it, I hope you find it useful!
^^^ Totally not neccessary kiddranc!
Awww you poor thing! Listen sweet heart your 17 and if it makes you feel any better I have never had a boyfriend either ( I am a girl) I just dont allow my self to go that far with a guy, its probably being afraid of being hurt! I do get guys asking me out but I have a mega low self esteem that enables me to not get closer with a guy plus I cant seem to meet any decent ones! I am looking for someone long term if you knw what I mean. I am only 19, and it does let me down greatly. I have to lie about what I did for valentines day which hurts and suxs.
I can totally sympathise with where your comming from, I have seen some hot gays out there and I am sure your very hot. I think we are just not ready to accept what we are and criticse our self too deep.
In order to help you with this situation I think you should speak to someone about this. Do you have a trusted teacher you can speak to ?
Try to take baby steps and not be so hard on yourself.
I know its not easy trust me I am in the exact position as you and I really wish I could be affectionate with someone but I dont have anyone.
Why dont you try to like find ways how you can look better and feel better?
Im sure theres some people out there that will help you choose what would suit you best, you can get a personal shopper I know debenhams do one.
Improving that will help you build on your confidence as well.
And start slowly speaking to your class mates and speak to one and then try to make conversation and hopefully it would make you feel better :-)
You can pm me any time, if you want you can pm me a pic and I can give you some tips and stuff.
When I go to the gym it makes me feel better about myself, maybe you should give it ago?
What are your hobbies OP?
What do you enjoy doing?
keep us updated xxx
;console;
Awww you poor thing! Listen sweet heart your 17 and if it makes you feel any better I have never had a boyfriend either ( I am a girl) I just dont allow my self to go that far with a guy, its probably being afraid of being hurt! I do get guys asking me out but I have a mega low self esteem that enables me to not get closer with a guy plus I cant seem to meet any decent ones! I am looking for someone long term if you knw what I mean. I am only 19, and it does let me down greatly. I have to lie about what I did for valentines day which hurts and suxs.
I can totally sympathise with where your comming from, I have seen some hot gays out there and I am sure your very hot. I think we are just not ready to accept what we are and criticse our self too deep.
In order to help you with this situation I think you should speak to someone about this. Do you have a trusted teacher you can speak to ?
Try to take baby steps and not be so hard on yourself.
I know its not easy trust me I am in the exact position as you and I really wish I could be affectionate with someone but I dont have anyone.
Why dont you try to like find ways how you can look better and feel better?
Im sure theres some people out there that will help you choose what would suit you best, you can get a personal shopper I know debenhams do one.
Improving that will help you build on your confidence as well.
And start slowly speaking to your class mates and speak to one and then try to make conversation and hopefully it would make you feel better :-)
You can pm me any time, if you want you can pm me a pic and I can give you some tips and stuff.
When I go to the gym it makes me feel better about myself, maybe you should give it ago?
What are your hobbies OP?
What do you enjoy doing?
keep us updated xxx
;console;
Related discussions
- Are there any bi or lesbian girls in Portsmouth??
- 28M
- I feel like i'm falling behind
- Sex in Manchester...
- This guy just called me ugly on a dating app
- I can't decide whether to go to prom, please help me!! It's in 3 days.
- loser
- What to do on the first date?
- Can some one mark this small essay i did out of 30 for gcse a christmas carol
- Chemistry mcq help please
- Feeling disillusioned at central saint martins
- Urgent a level chem help!!!
- I’m gay hot but not straight hot
- lonely forever ???
- 22 yo uni students virgin never had a gf
- What are the girls at Imperial like?
- how do I get boyfreind if i am ugly
- Bonding A level Chem - Help
- Unlovable/ feeing ugly.
- Being bullied in my dreams
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 weeks ago
How can I apply for university and get my letters without my parents finding outLast reply 1 month ago
Dealing with and keeping lies to my aggressive parentsLast reply 1 month ago
(Serious) How do I get rid of weird feelings with my boobs and femininity?Last reply 1 month ago
For those of you who have younger cousins or nieces and nephews why do you do this?Fitness
6
8
Last reply 1 month ago
People who claim to wash in 5mins aren’t showering properlyLast reply 1 month ago
2024 has been a horrible year for me overall and I just wanted your thoughtsLast reply 3 months ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.
