Okay so this is A LONG STORY. Me and my boyfriend had been together for about 3 years, we moved in together in the September and everything was wonderful and I loved every second of it. Just before Christmas however I caught him flirting with a girl (a few years below him at uni). Now, flirting isn’t too scandalous, but the way he was talking to her made me uneasy, he also apparently went to a party and spent a lot of time with her (nothing happened). I confronted him about it and he apologised and said it was a stupid mistake and he didn’t mean it, he also said he’d cut her off because he only wanted me. Everything was great until about January. He flat out told me he might break up with me. I asked him why and he said because he was worried we’d been together for so long and he hadn’t got to experience “single life” and he needed space. Obviously I was heartbroken but I understood where he was coming from, we’d been together since he was 18 and I was 16. So, we mutually decided to go on a break. Anyway, a few days later I caught him talking to the same girl before Christmas, I asked him about it and he replied “yeah, we’re just talking like friends”, so I shrugged it off. BUT, I saw one of her messages pop up on his phone and they definitely were not talking like “friends”, which was fine since we were single but he still lied to me. After that though, we realised how miserable we both were, still living together but not being in a relationship so we decided to give it another go. Long story short I caught him talking to the same girl again, in MORE than a friendly way, even though we agreed we’d work on our relationship. I confronted him about it and ended the relationship officially. I moved out about a week after that, but we kept messaging as friends on facebook. Everything was going great again and we almost felt like a couple, until on Valentine’s Day he told me he had slept with that girl a couple of days after I moved out. He said he hated it and it only made him realise how much he wanted me, etc. He has now blocked her from Facebook and he seems to really be remorseful and he says he loves me and would marry me tomorrow if he could but I’m just not sure. I love him very much, but this whole thing has given me a different outlook on our relationship, on him as a person too. The girl he slept with also really really likes him, I know he doesn’t like her back but her friends seem to think that they could have been a good couple if he had wanted more. I KNOW that he loves me, but he has been hesitant to ask me to be his girlfriend again because he’s at drama school and he’s under a lot of pressure and “doesn’t want to the pressures of a relationship on top of that”??? It’s almost as if he’s convinced himself that relationships are doomed to be hard work. I know that I’d be happier if I was his girlfriend again, we are committed to each other atm but we don’t have that label and that makes me almost nervous. This whole thing has made me feel very insecure so I worry that someone (i.e the girl he slept with etc) might take advantage of that? It’s just strange. Because I really don’t know what I am to him at this moment in time. It’s almost as if we’re right back where we were in the beginning, in the talking stage before you ask someone out? But I just worry that the only reason he came back is because I was the safe option. He loves the idea of me but doesn’t actually want to be with me. But who knows? Am I crazy for taking him back? I’m a very forgiving person, and I’ve practically already forgiven him for everything he did but I can’t seem to forget, and it definitely isn’t helping my mental health by thinking about them together. I do absolutely love him and I can picture myself still having a future with him, but I just worry that we rushed back into things, but we still aren’t actually together so are we rushing at all? It’s all just very confusing? I’m just VERY CONFUSED!! I absolutely adore him but I just can’t stop thinking about this girl. He graduates in June, and I know for a fact everything will be great after that because he won’t have any contract with the girl at uni, and he won’t have the pressures of school, but I’m just worried we won’t last until then. I struggle with depression and anxiety and I get down quite a lot, I’m actively trying to help myself but he’s always been my go to source for support, but lately I know it’s been taking a toll on him and I worry he’ll end it completely because I’m too much of a liability, lmao! I am just very worried. We both love each other immensely but is loving each other enough?