The Student Room Group

Told my parents that I want to leave Islam....

I made a thread a few days ago about how I'm losing faith in Islam and many of you suggested for me to tell my parents. Well, I told my parents and it didn't go down so well, they reacted REALLY negatively and were giving me death threats and told me they're going to send me back to Pakistan so that I can "fix up" as my dad phrased it. Thought my dad would understand me...but he just went along with my mum and kept on abusing. I'm sitting here in my bedroom with my door locked, really frustrated at the moment, I don't know what to do. I don't want to approach them again, and I feel like running away from home but I'm only 16 with no money so that's a stupid thing to do. But that's how I'm feeling and I really don't want to stay with my parents anymore. I can't be asked to get back to Islam now, the way my parents reacted with it put me off. It's not like I left the religion, yet they react in a way as if I just murdered someone. Any ideas of what I should do?? How should I stop my parents from thinking about this?
(edited 6 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Original post by *Alisha*
I made a thread a few days ago about how I'm losing faith in Islam and many of you suggested for me to tell my parents. Well, I told my parents and it didn't go down so well, they reacted REALLY negatively and were giving me death threats and told me they're going to send me back to Pakistan so that I can "fix up" as my dad phrased it. Thought my dad would understand me...but he just went along with my mum and kept on abusing. I'm sitting here in my bedroom with my door locked, really frustrated at the moment, I don't know what to do. I don't want to approach them again, and I feel like running away from home but I'm only 16 with no money so that's a stupid thing to do. But that's how I'm feeling and I really don't want to stay with my parents anymore. I can't be asked to get back to Islam now, the way my parents reacted with it put me off. It's not like I left the religion, yet they react in a way as if I just murdered someone. Any ideas of what I should do?? How should I stop my parents from thinking about this?


Jeez, are you okay?

What are your reasons for wanting to leave Islam, if you don't mind me asking?

xx
Original post by *Alisha*
I made a thread a few days ago about how I'm losing faith in Islam and many of you suggested for me to tell my parents. Well, I told my parents and it didn't go down so well, they reacted REALLY negatively and were giving me death threats and told me they're going to send me back to Pakistan so that I can "fix up" as my dad phrased it. Thought my dad would understand me...but he just went along with my mum and kept on abusing. I'm sitting here in my bedroom with my door locked, really frustrated at the moment, I don't know what to do. I don't want to approach them again, and I feel like running away from home but I'm only 16 with no money so that's a stupid thing to do. But that's how I'm feeling and I really don't want to stay with my parents anymore. I can't be asked to get back to Islam now, the way my parents reacted with it put me off. It's not like I left the religion, yet they react in a way as if I just murdered someone. Any ideas of what I should do?? How should I stop my parents from thinking about this?

Do you have any really close friends that you could stay with?
Reply 3
I know it's too late now but you probably shouldn't have told them so early. What did you really expect to happen? Given that parents can be very touchy about things like that and you're only 16...

You could save face by saying you didn't mean it and just pretend to be a Muslim. Perhaps stay with relatives until they cool down.
(edited 6 years ago)
Who told you to tell your parents? I saw your thread and loads of other similar threads where ex-Muslims ask for advice, and nobody ever, ever tells them to tell their parents. And anybody who hears that advice usually doesn't follow it through anyway because they know the general, majority advice is always "wait until you can support yourself, and then do whatever you want".
(edited 6 years ago)
nah but fr props to you for being upfront about it to your parents , it's shame how these types of families can overreact to their child's feelings

but again respect for being upfront about it
Original post by queenmeelzx
Jeez, you poor thing!

What are your reasons for wanting to leave Islam, if you don't mind me asking?

xx


Everything I do is against Islam. Initially didn't want to leave but I just can't handle the pressures anymore coming from parents and just the Muslims around me.
Original post by Baza2002
Do you have any really close friends that you could stay with?


I do, but I don't want to tell them this, and their parents might find it weird me living with them. Living with a different family is difficult.
sadly theres no way to stop them from thinking about it, you know how muslim parents are when it comes to this sort of stuff. Weird how they can even forgive/ignore many sins that their kids tell them but dare to say you are losing faith and they act as though you just admitted to the most heinous crime. You are too young right now, even if you moved in with friends they wouldn't be able to put you up forever. You'll have to just phase it out and fake it for as long as you are at home. Explain to them that you think its just a phase or that its just a feeling and if they offer you help to become more religious just go along with it. This is how muslim kids have been living for years and years. The ones who are losing faith or are closet gays, they just fake it in order to keep the peace. Never ever blurt out the truth until you've got a backup plan in case they try to throw you out.
Original post by *Alisha*
I do, but I don't want to tell them this, and their parents might find it weird me living with them. Living with a different family is difficult.


Yeah, but you would be safer. Your parents gave you death threats... you aren't safe living with them. Please, live with a friend if you can - or do you have any relatives who would let you live with them?
It would be weird for you and for your friend and their family but you will be safer.
Original post by UWS
I know it's too late now but you probably shouldn't have told them so early. What did you really expect to happen? Given that parents can be very touchy about things like that and you're only 16...

You could save face by saying you didn't mean it and just pretend to be a Muslim. Perhaps stay with relatives until they cool down.


Most of the time they don't mean what they say, but they seemed serious. I don't know, I'm going to wait some time and see if they've forgotten about it all.
Original post by MyFightSong
sadly theres no way to stop them from thinking about it, you know how muslim parents are when it comes to this sort of stuff. Weird how they can even forgive/ignore many sins that their kids tell them but dare to say you are losing faith and they act as though you just admitted to the most heinous crime. You are too young right now, even if you moved in with friends they wouldn't be able to put you up forever. You'll have to just phase it out and fake it for as long as you are at home. Explain to them that you think its just a phase or that its just a feeling and if they offer you help to become more religious just go along with it. This is how muslim kids have been living for years and years. The ones who are losing faith or are closet gays, they just fake it in order to keep the peace. Never ever blurt out the truth until you've got a backup plan in case they try to throw you out.


I hope that works.I will just fake it and see if they can forget about it all, hopefully they won't stay disappointed with me for so long...
Original post by Baza2002
Yeah, but you would be safer. Your parents gave you death threats... you aren't safe living with them. Please, live with a friend if you can - or do you have any relatives who would let you live with them?
It would be weird for you and for your friend and their family but you will be safer.


They might not have meant it, sometimes they say things but don't actually mean it.
Original post by *Alisha*
I hope that works.I will just fake it and see if they can forget about it all, hopefully they won't stay disappointed with me for so long...


If they love you, they won't

Also asian parents just want to save face, therefore a lot of them will just want to hear that you didn't really mean it so that they can typically sweep it under the carpet

God forbid the 'communiteeee'/'hum logo' find out :rolleyes:
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 14
People asking why they told their parents, please stop. What's done is done, and that's not the issue here.Alisha you need to talk to someone who's an adult who aren't your parents, and tell them how you feel about Islam and how your parents have threatened you with sending you back to Pakistan. If it were me (I'm 18 and still in school) this would be a trusted teacher or an adult at school. If you don't have anyone like that you could call childline if you feel comfortable doing that.Now, depending on how much you don't want to be sent back to Pakistan, if worst comes to worst and they are putting you on a plane against your wishes, put a metal spoon in your knickers before you leave for the airport. This will be picked up by the sensors and the airport staff will take you into a separate room where you can talk to them about what's happening - they will know what to do as putting a spoon in your pants is advice given by anti human trafficking organisations.I really hope this helps - I have a friend who I know online and before I knew them they were sent to live in Palestine from the US, and I want to help stop that happening to anyone else. If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask!
Original post by *Alisha*
They might not have meant it, sometimes they say things but don't actually mean it.


Maybe not. But, if they do anything that makes you think you are in danger, stay at a friend's house.
Original post by MCArth
People asking why they told their parents, please stop. What's done is done, and that's not the issue here.Alisha you need to talk to someone who's an adult who aren't your parents, and tell them how you feel about Islam and how your parents have threatened you with sending you back to Pakistan. If it were me (I'm 18 and still in school) this would be a trusted teacher or an adult at school. If you don't have anyone like that you could call childline if you feel comfortable doing that.Now, depending on how much you don't want to be sent back to Pakistan, if worst comes to worst and they are putting you on a plane against your wishes, put a metal spoon in your knickers before you leave for the airport. This will be picked up by the sensors and the airport staff will take you into a separate room where you can talk to them about what's happening - they will know what to do as putting a spoon in your pants is advice given by anti human trafficking organisations.I really hope this helps - I have a friend who I know online and before I knew them they were sent to live in Palestine from the US, and I want to help stop that happening to anyone else. If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask!


Thank you so much for your reply! I know I told them too early but that was because I know they're going to find out anyways. But it was a very impulsive and stupid thing to do. I hope they aren't actually going to send me to Pakistan. They sent my brother to Pakistan because they found out he has a girlfriend and they wanted him to change e...(I know, what you're thinking lol). That seems like a smart idea, I'm not letting my parents take me to Pakistan.
Reply 17
Original post by *Alisha*
I made a thread a few days ago about how I'm losing faith in Islam and many of you suggested for me to tell my parents. Well, I told my parents and it didn't go down so well, they reacted REALLY negatively and were giving me death threats and told me they're going to send me back to Pakistan so that I can "fix up" as my dad phrased it. Thought my dad would understand me...but he just went along with my mum and kept on abusing. I'm sitting here in my bedroom with my door locked, really frustrated at the moment, I don't know what to do. I don't want to approach them again, and I feel like running away from home but I'm only 16 with no money so that's a stupid thing to do. But that's how I'm feeling and I really don't want to stay with my parents anymore. I can't be asked to get back to Islam now, the way my parents reacted with it put me off. It's not like I left the religion, yet they react in a way as if I just murdered someone. Any ideas of what I should do?? How should I stop my parents from thinking about this?


Woah. They can't use death threats on their own daughter, that's terrible... This whole reaction from your parents is just appalling...
(edited 6 years ago)
This is why the old saying; 'Patience is key' was created.
Reply 19
Original post by *Alisha*
I made a thread a few days ago about how I'm losing faith in Islam and many of you suggested for me to tell my parents. Well, I told my parents and it didn't go down so well, they reacted REALLY negatively and were giving me death threats and told me they're going to send me back to Pakistan so that I can "fix up" as my dad phrased it. Thought my dad would understand me...but he just went along with my mum and kept on abusing. I'm sitting here in my bedroom with my door locked, really frustrated at the moment, I don't know what to do. I don't want to approach them again, and I feel like running away from home but I'm only 16 with no money so that's a stupid thing to do. But that's how I'm feeling and I really don't want to stay with my parents anymore. I can't be asked to get back to Islam now, the way my parents reacted with it put me off. It's not like I left the religion, yet they react in a way as if I just murdered someone. Any ideas of what I should do?? How should I stop my parents from thinking about this?


Perhaps go to the ex-Muslim thread in the Religion forum and get some advice there. Some of them most probably have been through a very similar thing and could advise you.

Quick Reply

Latest