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Would you rather date someone with little-no relationship experience or

...someone who has been in a long term (at least 1.5 years) relationship?

Would you be put off by either one?

Been thinking about this because I recently met a guy who is very much my type and I was thinking I might see if I can take this further and do a bit more flirting next time I see him. I don't actually know much about him so I was stalking his facebook (as you do) and saw that he came out of a 4 year relationship about 3 months ago.

It's silly but I feel like I just can't compete with that especially because I've never had a serious long term relationship. The longest has been around 7 months and even that wasn't hugely serious.
So he has spent his late teens with this one girl and they went on numerous holidays, probably know each others families inside out, probably thought they'd get married. And then you have to compete with all of that history.

I think I'd rather date someone with very little experience. But then that might mean they're a bit immature and don't really understand what is appropriate behaviour and how to handle things.

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Wouldn't bother me either way, as I am fairly experienced and I once dated someone who was inexperienced and by the time we broke up he was ready to date other girls. Honestly, I find it fun to give people their first experiences :P (apart from the fact I'm a virgin lol)
Original post by Anonymous
...someone who has been in a long term (at least 1.5 years) relationship?

Would you be put off by either one?

Been thinking about this because I recently met a guy who is very much my type and I was thinking I might see if I can take this further and do a bit more flirting next time I see him. I don't actually know much about him so I was stalking his facebook (as you do) and saw that he came out of a 4 year relationship about 3 months ago.

It's silly but I feel like I just can't compete with that especially because I've never had a serious long term relationship. The longest has been around 7 months and even that wasn't hugely serious.
So he has spent his late teens with this one girl and they went on numerous holidays, probably know each others families inside out, probably thought they'd get married. And then you have to compete with all of that history.

I think I'd rather date someone with very little experience. But then that might mean they're a bit immature and don't really understand what is appropriate behaviour and how to handle things.



If I liked them enough it wouldn't matter. The 4 year relationship person might be rebound and they might have a lot of baggage though..
If they were exceptional then I would be open minded.
Wouldn't bother me, my current girlfriend had experience and I didn't have much and we're still together after a year so far so seems to be working fine.
Original post by 999tigger
If I liked them enough it wouldn't matter. The 4 year relationship person might be rebound and they might have a lot of baggage though..
If they were exceptional then I would be open minded.


I'm curious - if they've had someone in between the long term relationship and you, does that mean you arent a rebound?
Can agree on the baggage - but everyone has some to carry.
Original post by getmeoffmyphone
Wouldn't bother me either way, as I am fairly experienced and I once dated someone who was inexperienced and by the time we broke up he was ready to date other girls. Honestly, I find it fun to give people their first experiences :P (apart from the fact I'm a virgin lol)
So. You're a fairly experienced virgin?

And you find it fun to give people their first experiences?
Original post by LadyEcliptic
I'm curious - if they've had someone in between the long term relationship and you, does that mean you arent a rebound?
Can agree on the baggage - but everyone has some to carry.


Nothing to rule out a number of rebounds. Take people as you find them and even talk to them about it. No harm in talking and then making your mind up or at least having a trial. Depends on the individual. be mad to pass up an exceptional prospect. An average one with a lot of baggage might be different.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
So. You're a fairly experienced virgin?

And you find it fun to give people their first experiences?


To clarify, I'm experienced with non-sex relationships. I meant I like to date guys who have none or tons of experience, it doesn't bother me. and if I date a guy with no experience in relationships, I enjoy showing them the way. I like to lead and be led. I'm open minded and quite relaxed with love.

Edit: I do acknowledge that I didn't word my first one well, got a bit going on in my head lol
Never had experience. I don't care if they have experience or not. If someone was to not go out with you because of your experience or no experience then they are not for you since they don't truly care.
Original post by 999tigger
Nothing to rule out a number of rebounds. Take people as you find them and even talk to them about it. No harm in talking and then making your mind up or at least having a trial. Depends on the individual. be mad to pass up an exceptional prospect. An average one with a lot of baggage might be different.


Its hard to tell if you're a rebound, is it not? Nobodies gonna go and say "oh by the way, I'm only dating your as a rebound". Know what I mean?
Original post by getmeoffmyphone
To clarify, I'm experienced with non-sex relationships. I meant I like to date guys who have none or tons of experience, it doesn't bother me. and if I date a guy with no experience in relationships, I enjoy showing them the way. I like to lead and be led. I'm open minded and quite relaxed with love.

Edit: I do acknowledge that I didn't word my first one well, got a bit going on in my head lol
Please don't apologise for your earlier post. I enjoyed reading it.

Is there any particular reason why no one's lead you into the bedroom yet?
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
Please don't apologise for your earlier post. I enjoyed reading it.

Is there any particular reason why no one's lead you into the bedroom yet?


haven't dated the right guy yet :P
Original post by LadyEcliptic
Its hard to tell if you're a rebound, is it not? Nobodies gonna go and say "oh by the way, I'm only dating your as a rebound". Know what I mean?


If I knew they had just been in a substantial relationship then I would keep an eye out for it.
Original post by getmeoffmyphone
haven't dated the right guy yet :P
Good for you for setting certain minimum standards.

What would it take for a guy to be right enough to lead you into the bedroom?
neither seems that catastrophic
I think you're getting too hung up on the idea of competeing with their relationship. If he's at the point were he's ready to meet someone then him having relationship experience is a huge plus for you. I doubt he would be bothered by you having shorter relationships as well, people are different and have different experiences...there's no reason for that to be a deal braker. I think the best advice I can give is that all my long-term relationships have been completely different and ot comparable; you never have the same thing twice and I doubt he would expect that. Don't get hung up and go ahead how you normally would when you like a guy, it's no different. Good luck!!!
Original post by LadyEcliptic
Its hard to tell if you're a rebound, is it not? Nobodies gonna go and say "oh by the way, I'm only dating your as a rebound". Know what I mean?


I can normally tell when my friends are on the rebound, often by the gap (or lack of gap) between relationships. But you can't always say for certain.
Listen out for how often they mention their ex, even if it's something negative. They might also be keen to publicise the relationship by putting it on facebook or uploading pics/tagging you in stuff. Like they're trying to prove something to their ex.
wouldn't care either way so long as i liked the person and we both got on
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
Good for you for setting certain minimum standards.

What would it take for a guy to be right enough to lead you into the bedroom?


much the same thing as my relationship requirements, in that I won't f*** someone who just looks good, they have to be someone I know well and connect deeply and emotionally with. The kind of guy who I would have known for at least a month prior. Someone I could trust. I know at least one person who ticks those boxes but I couldn't bring myself to ask them out :P I'm a wuss when it comes to love
Original post by getmeoffmyphone
much the same thing as my relationship requirements, in that I won't f*** someone who just looks good, they have to be someone I know well and connect deeply and emotionally with. The kind of guy who I would have known for at least a month prior. Someone I could trust. I know at least one person who ticks those boxes but I couldn't bring myself to ask them out :P I'm a wuss when it comes to love

So it sounds like you're minimum standards are:
Relatively good looks (sounds sensible).
And someone that can open up to you, emotionally and respond to you with empathy (highly sensible too).
As well as someone with the patience to wait for a month (OK for your first time, as you grow older you'll probably shorten that period).
As well as someone with a decent amount of honesty and integrity (sensible too, but difficult to gauge with any accuracy over the course of a month).

I'd agree. All those things are important features that make the difference between a man being worth having a romantic relationship with and not.
And, coming back to the OP, that all those factors are far more important than whether the man in question has had a little or a lot of experience in relationships.

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