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Have you ever said to a guy "I see you as a friend" then change your mind?

I dated a girl a few months back and she is on placement at the moment. After the third meet up she valued me as a friend. But I was wondering if she could change her mind once she has finished placement in a few weeks. As we seem to get on really well and she got me a birthday present. So I will return the favour.
Thats sweet, hopefully it works and good luck x
No. Dude. Just no.
never

getting on well doesnt mean she finds you attractive
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I dated a girl a few months back and she is on placement at the moment. After the third meet up she valued me as a friend. But I was wondering if she could change her mind once she has finished placement in a few weeks. As we seem to get on really well and she got me a birthday present. So I will return the favour.


Hi,

Hate to say it, but the mere fact that she's told you she values you as a "friend" tells me she's prety much made up her mind on the matter. If there was any remote level of interest, chances are she would subtlely let you know (e.g. flirty texts, paying you compliments etc)... At the very least she wouldn't have explicitly told you outright that you are just a friend.

I could be wrong... but the way I see it, either the element of attraction either exists or it doesn't. Therefore when a girl befriends a guy, she will place him in either one of two piles... either "Friends, maybe more" or "Just friends"

Friends, Maybe more:-These are the type, where she may secretly feel a slight "spark" i.e. there is a real chance of something happening (e.g. sex or a relationship)... but the present surrounding circumstances means it remains dormant for the time being at least. These circumstances may be many things (e.g. one of you may already be in a relationship, there maybe personal or study pressures, the lack of alcohol etc). Fact is that under the right scenario, it could easily be "Game On".

Just Friends:- There is no element of physical attraction,... or maybe there was, but something has happened to kill the attraction. Although it's never going to happen, it's still in her interest to keep the friendship alive. For example, they may genuinely be an easy person to talk to... or you may help her with any project she's doing... or you may be loaded or have a lot of fit friends she has her eye on. The fact of the matter is that if you're "friends-zoned" it's very very difficult (if not impossible) to re-trigger that attraction.

Forget this girl and move on (N.B. It's now officially spring... that's the mating season.... plenty of other young phillies out there for you to chase :smile: )
(edited 5 years ago)

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