Girlfriend ‘semi-cheated’ on me Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
So I was at the club yesterday with my girlfriend whom I have been dating for 4 weeks. I was completely sober while she was a little bit buzzed.

Cutting to the chase, I saw her with this guy, who started to dance erotically with her and went in for the kiss. She allowed the kiss to happen but didn’t kiss him back. To my surprise, she carried on dancing with him for another good 2 minutes, turned around and almost started grinding on him.

I witnessed this and waited for a while to see where things would lead up to. I had seen enough by now and I decided to interrupt her by tapping her arm and letting her know I’m leaving.

She ran after me in freezing cold and came to my apartment to see me. As her justification, she said that didn't really feel that our relationship was solidified (since I started dating her as soon as I broke up with my ex and still talk to her once in a while casually as friends). But apparently now realises that she loves me a lot. The whole night was spent with her crying and begging me to not leave her.

The following morning, we had this discussion again. I am not sure whether to buy this or not. I want to be with her but I know that I will have serious trust issues with her, but she says that we can work on it and I have every right to doubt her in the future.

She is adamant in claiming that she loves me and doesn’t want to leave me at any cost, even though I told her multiple times that she can if she wishes.

What do I do?
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shameful_burrito
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#2
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#2
Leave her
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Anonymous #2
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Get the scissors out my boi. If you let this slide through like nothing has happened, it will happen again
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AnimusInRobore
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Maybe she was just trying to see how you'd react? See if you were serious or just didn't care?
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123456789012
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[QUOTE=AnimusInRobore;76747362]Maybe she was just trying to see how you'd react? See if you were serious or just didn't care?[/QUOTE
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AnimusInRobore
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(Original post by 123456789012)
Her back was facing me, and she didn’t know that I was there watching the action
Does she have a past history? If yeah then it's timed to explode so get out of that Nakatomi Plaza before Gruber gets there. P.S. Die Hard is great
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123456789012
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(Original post by AnimusInRobore)
Does she have a past history? If yeah then it's timed to explode so get out of that Nakatomi Plaza before Gruber gets there. P.S. Die Hard is great
From what I no, no she doesn’t
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AnimusInRobore
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(Original post by 123456789012)
From what I no, no she doesn’t
Then I'd give her another chance then if she does it again I'd split. At the moment you are clearly going to regret splitting right now and it could have been a one off plus you currently have the moral high ground Obi Wan.
Btw you aren't Anon anymore
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StriderHort
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ooft, I'd walk away likely, utterly disrespectful. So she's either completely untrustworthy or decided to act that way out of insecurity essentially to mess with your head to see what you do and then flips to loving you?. She might have all sorts of other qualities but it's going to be a toxic relationship.and you're gettiing a clear view 4 weeks in.

Frankly she reminds me of people with personality disorders, the manipulation especially, In which case i'm on board with the Nakatomi Plaza metaphor.
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LadyEcliptic
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I fail to understand how cheating with someone will help you see if your other half is serious about you - to me, if you have to do that you're the one who isn't serious and needs to grow the **** up.
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AnimusInRobore
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(Original post by StriderHort)
ooft, I'd walk away likely, utterly disrespectful. So she's either completely untrustworthy or decided to act that way out of insecurity essentially to mess with your head to see what you do and then flips to loving you?. She might have all sorts of other qualities but it's going to be a toxic relationship.and you're gettiing a clear view 4 weeks in.

Frankly she reminds me of people with personality disorders, the manipulation especially, In which case i'm on board with the Nakatomi Plaza metaphor.
Such a good metaphor
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was at the club yesterday with my girlfriend whom I have been dating for 4 weeks. I was completely sober while she was a little bit buzzed.

Cutting to the chase, I saw her with this guy, who started to dance erotically with her and went in for the kiss. She allowed the kiss to happen but didn’t kiss him back. To my surprise, she carried on dancing with him for another good 2 minutes, turned around and almost started grinding on him.

I witnessed this and waited for a while to see where things would lead up to. I had seen enough by now and I decided to interrupt her by tapping her arm and letting her know I’m leaving.

She ran after me in freezing cold and came to my apartment to see me. As her justification, she said that didn't really feel that our relationship was solidified (since I started dating her as soon as I broke up with my ex and still talk to her once in a while casually as friends). But apparently now realises that she loves me a lot. The whole night was spent with her crying and begging me to not leave her.

The following morning, we had this discussion again. I am not sure whether to buy this or not. I want to be with her but I know that I will have serious trust issues with her, but she says that we can work on it and I have every right to doubt her in the future.

She is adamant in claiming that she loves me and doesn’t want to leave me at any cost, even though I told her multiple times that she can if she wishes.

What do I do?
Stop being an A1 prat. You sounds like a nightmare.
Chill out.

What happened? Nothing really. She danced with him, she did let him kiss her but not back, perhaps she didnt think, perhaps she was a bit drunk, but really nothing happened.

In response to this:

You have trust (insecurity) issues.
Nothing happened.
You threw a strop.
You have end up making her feel even more insecure than in the first place.

Why not wind back and be a bit grown up?
Move past the nothing that happened.
Decide if you want to be with her or not. If not then what was the point of the thread.
Maybe confirm you are exclusive, she isnt to do it again and you will give it a go.
Cut the sulking and injured pride.

Either you like her or you do not.
Either you have the ability to trust or you do not.
Either you want to build a relationship or not.

Make up your mind and try and have an equal relationship where she feels wanted and cared for as opposed to treading on ice and you making her feel she has wronged you. Its only a big deal in your head. Not in the real world.
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StriderHort
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Well I suppose that's...one way of looking at it.

"She danced with him, she did let him kiss her but not back" I think most people would regard that as something, not nothing, especially if done when you're there. Somehow he's the bad guy?
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AnimusInRobore
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Well I suppose that's...one way of looking at it.

"She danced with him, she did let him kiss her but not back" I think most people would regard that as something, not nothing, especially if done when you're there. Somehow he's the bad guy?
I don't think he's is saying that the guy is in the wrong but that he might be overreacting depending on the gf's intentions. Also he might want to empthasize with how she is feeling if it was a simple drunken mistake
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godlivin4
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For you to ask the forum a second opinion tells us that you have second thoughts about this person. There are certainly trust issues with her. You should not plunge into a committed relationship with her. All normal relationships are built upon trust. You saw her with this other guy at how she was carrying on and dancing with him. You can imagine if she is involved with other guys that you are not aware and what goes on when she is around other guys and you are not there. I think you should move on. If she does this to you, she will do it again. She is playing with you. Worst part: she does not respect you. A man acknowledges a woman who respect him and vice-versa. It goes both ways. Hope this helps. At the end of the day, it's your life and you got to live with the choice you make - good or bad. And learn from the mistakes from the bad choices, don't repeat them!
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Taka345
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#16
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Stop being an A1 prat. You sounds like a nightmare.
Chill out.

What happened? Nothing really. She danced with him, she did let him kiss her but not back, perhaps she didnt think, perhaps she was a bit drunk, but really nothing happened.

In response to this:

You have trust (insecurity) issues.
Nothing happened.
You threw a strop.
You have end up making her feel even more insecure than in the first place.

Why not wind back and be a bit grown up?
Move past the nothing that happened.
Decide if you want to be with her or not. If not then what was the point of the thread.
Maybe confirm you are exclusive, she isnt to do it again and you will give it a go.
Cut the sulking and injured pride.

Either you like her or you do not.
Either you have the ability to trust or you do not.
Either you want to build a relationship or not.

Make up your mind and try and have an equal relationship where she feels wanted and cared for as opposed to treading on ice and you making her feel she has wronged you. Its only a big deal in your head. Not in the real world.
OP this is the definition of a cuck don't listen to this idiot.
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AnimusInRobore
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Can I just say that my opinion on this is changing with every post aha
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999tigger
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(Original post by Taka345)
OP this is the definition of a cuck don't listen to this idiot.
Rather than just insult, why not explain why? Is that too much for you?
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999tigger
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(Original post by godlivin4)
For you to ask the forum a second opinion tells us that you have second thoughts about this person. There are certainly trust issues with her. You should not plunge into a committed relationship with her. All normal relationships are built upon trust. You saw her with this other guy at how she was carrying on and dancing with him. You can imagine if she is involved with other guys that you are not aware and what goes on when she is around other guys and you are not there. I think you should move on. If she does this to you, she will do it again. She is playing with you. Worst part: she does not respect you. A man acknowledges a woman who respect him and vice-versa. It goes both ways. Hope this helps. At the end of the day, it's your life and you got to live with the choice you make - good or bad. And learn from the mistakes from the bad choices, don't repeat them!
She danced with him big deal. Is the OP that insecure? Why not just ask her not to do it again as his ego cant take it? You seem intent of being paranoid and sowing mistrust. The only thing I will agree with you on is that if the OP cant put it behind him and is convinced he cant rust her then it will never work. he will have that issue in future as well.
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Miss Maddie
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Once a cheater always a cheater. She loves the idea of a relationship. She doesn't love you.
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