The Student Room Group

I’m physically and mentally drained

I’ve suffered with severe depression for a few years and I’ve gone through many stages along the way.

The first few months I wasn’t really sure what I was feeling and thought I was just ill or going through hard time. The next couple months I began to question the world, feel intensely sad and begin researching depression and treatments. The next year or so I went through many different treatments starting with counselling, to CBT, to medication, to advanced healing therapies etc. None of it worked and the last few months I’ve got off each of the medications as they haven’t helped and made me very suicidal. It’s funny how I thought medication was going to be a life saver and I just start back at square one again. It’s like the last year was a waste of my life.

Anyway the next stage was emotional numbness in which I couldn’t connect with anyone, with my emotions. I essentially felt nothing. The most recent stage(the last few weeks) has been extreme extreme exhaustion mentally and physically. It’s almost feeling like jetlagged and like my eyes can’t keep open. I’ve stopped thinking and can’t function properly. I don’t want to eat, shower, work. I just sit there almost catotonic. It’s like I’m actually paralysed by my mind and body. I straight up feel exhausted and worn out possibly because I’ve been trying so hard to motivate myself and putting myself down that I’ve reached a breaking point and my body and mind can’t handle it.
I go to a school in Birmingham and am in my final year of A-levels wanting to do Geography at university . The problem is that I don’t think I can get in with my current state. My memory has worsened, my concentration is poor, my motivation is at an all time low and I am mentally and physically unwell. I have achieved well academically in the past in my Gcse’s and AS levels but I was nowhere near as defeated and unwell. My memory was sharp when I achieved well and I could concentrate for long periods of time. Now I can’t even concentrate for more then 30 minutes and that’s rare.
I need to go to university because I don’t want to be isolated at home with a job I hate and my parents worn out from my depression.
Please can someone offer advice.
Reply 1
Take up or join a charitable cause
Take walks and appreciate nature
Start a new hobby
Think about how easy your life is by thinking about people dying of hunger in other countries.
Most of all find someone you can talk to a teacher you trust or maybe a relative and if you can’t find anyone you can always pm me
Hi!I totally get how you feel. I currently suffer with severe depression and anxiety and your feelings and situation are very similar to my own (I'd even say almost identical). I am also in my final year of A-levels and like you I wanted to go to uni but I was, and to an extent still am, very mentally and physically drained.
Honestly, the best advice I can offer you is to take away all of that stress. I've decided to take a gap year to take the stress off a-levels and getting into uni, because by next year I'll know whether I can/or can't get in, which takes away that extra pressure. Also, I know that it isn't ideal, but have you considered postponing your exams until next year, or just taking some of them this year?
Your parents are here to support you, and help you. If they are getting worn out by you, which is something you probably perceive (trust me I've been there), then maybe try explaining your thoughts to them personally or via someone else like a teacher or school nurse perhaps? I find that writing things down helps. I feel that my teachers are frustrated with me, so I occasionally write down my thoughts/feelings on a piece of paper and just give it to them without really saying anything else, (I use The Mighty's posts to help me formulate this stuff).

I also fully understand the whole meds thing, but in the end they can only take you so far, the rest is up to you, which sounds like useless advice but I've just figured that out for myself, though I still am on the meds...Talk to your GP about the eating/sleeping. Mine put me on sleeping pills a few days ago and they've temporarily made life a lot easier. Also, with concentration and motivation, if 30 mins is all you can do, then just stick with it and don't worry about it (my limit's about 20 mins), and slowly try building yourself up to 40 mins etc.
Most importantly, listen to your body. Don't try to fight it because I can tell you that it only makes things worse. If you can't keep your eyes open, maybe thats your body's way of telling you that you need to rest so dont try to keep them open. I nap for about 3 hours after school and Ive tried fighting it but it just made things worse.

Hope that helps and remember you are not alone. 🙂
If you need anyone to talk to I'm here. 😊
(edited 5 years ago)

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