Losing virginity/tampons

Please keep anonymous or delete.

I'm really scared about losing my virginity and whether I'll actually be able too? I can't seem to even get a mini tampon up there without being in horrible discomfort/pain and that really bothers me too because I've been trying for 7 years!

Anyone got any ideas how I can make this easier for myself? I'm scared I'm gonna be in agony when it comes to having sex.

Reply 1

</gibberish>

Buy some sex toys? or just use your fingers..
It's probably painfull because you're tense, rather than too small.

EDIT:
Sure you have the angle right with the tampons?

Reply 2

halátnost

Seriously, tampons are not hard to put in at all, & once you're used to it you don't even notice it, but it's inevitable that the first time it will be uncomfortable/a bit painful. My advice would be to just keep trying becuase they're so much easier & cleaner that sitting in your own uterus lining for a bit. Tampons - up there on the best inventions ever list.

As for sex, as ChrisRH said maybe fingers but when it comes to the time i'm sure you will have a respectful partner. And if not, some KY.

Reply 3

Somewhat Damaged

I could NEVER insert a tampon.

Still can't. :rolleyes:

But, sex isn't that painful for me.
Was the first few times, erm, getting it in.
But it was fine. :smile:

Some people just wern't made for tampons.
Doesn't mean sex will kill. :biggrin:

Reply 4

Zoecb

Try some KY jelly on the tampon as you put it in? And also, try during a heavy phase, because then you don't risk being dry in any way, that's what hurts.

Reply 5

Zoecb

Somewhat Damaged

I could NEVER insert a tampon.

Still can't. :rolleyes:

But, sex isn't that painful for me.
Was the first few times, erm, getting it in.
But it was fine. :smile:

Some people just wern't made for tampons.
Doesn't mean sex will kill. :biggrin:

Exactly the same with me.

I don't get on with tampons. It's the string, it just freaks me out.

Reply 6

amy.dd

If you put a tampon in wrong...it is SO painful. If you put it in right you shouldn't be able to feel it.

Losing your virginity hurts a bit, but you have to chill out cos it will hurt less if your relaxed.

May as well try it and see what happens huh?

Plus vaginas a fairly stretchy I believe...I heard women can even get a whole baby out of them so I doubt yours is limited to anything smaller than a mini tampon.

Reply 7

dh00001

relax! perhaps becuase its hurt in the past you expect it to hurt again and so tense up?

Reply 8

JoMo1

seemingly quite common, called hyper vaginitis I believe. If it's extremely bad then go to your GP, they can help! there was an episode of "embarassing illnesses" with it in if that's possible to find. If you absolutely don't feel comfortable going to a GP with it then lots of KY Jelly and fingers or preferably varying size of sex toys(the ones given on embarssing illnesses looked basically like thin butt plugs, starting from VERY thin to relatively large). With whatever combination of these you want: relax, lie down, put on some nice music and lock your door! then just experiment and get used to the feeling.

Reply 9

crawlinginmyskin2006

I was scared the first time I used them and it hurt a little but that was because I was scared and tense, try and not to think about it and relax also make sure your putting it in right. It won't hurt after a few times as it will get used to it. And if your sacred if sex will hurt, try using your fingers or toys for you to get used to it.

Reply 10

ciara

I had the same problem, but now I'm absolutely fine. It was just a size issue for me. Don't have sex until you've warmed up and been stretched a little with fingers etc... graphic but needed to be said. Otherwise you will be in so much pain.

Reply 11

fuzzyduck

Keep trying with tampons. I suggest you put a bit of KY jelly on your finger and then put your finger in first to make sure you're getting the angle right. Then put some KY on the tampon and put it in at the same angle.

Reply 12

cpj1987

I had exactly the same problem - it's just caused by not being able to relax. I'd never been able to put a tampon in, then had sex once last year and wasn't able to again. I thought I was some kind of freak. Then I bought a Mooncup a few months ago and spent three days trying to work out how to use that, eventually I learnt to relax, and now I'm fine both using that, and having sex.
It's just a case of getting over the nerves, even if you don't feel nervous, because it's your body's natural reaction, and you can only overcome it by taking your time and practicing, whether before having sex, or during it - whoever you're with should understand that you need to go slowly.

Reply 13

Acrobatic_Panda

The material that tampons are made out of doesn't really make them the easiest things in the world to insert. They're reasonably high friction which can make them harder to insert than a penis to some people.... My first suggestion is to make sure you're using the applicator properly as they slide in much easier, getting it out of the applicator can still be a little tricky but it's easier than sticking the whole thing in. Second, don't wipe everything completely dry before you try to put it in, that removes all your lubrication and you can always wipe afterwards; try it when the bleeding is heavier too. You might also want to experiment with different stances to make it easier. It's likely that you're tensing up when you try because you're expecting it to be difficult, and that makes it harder, try consciously tensing then relaxing your muscles, it might help. Some people just find tampons aren't for them, and you don't have to use them if they're not comfortable for you.

As for losing your virginity, make sure you're with someone you trust, and get used to being sexual with them first. Fingers and other objects from Ann Summers (if you so desire) can help to get you more comfortable with the idea. Make sure you can talk to them and explain your fears, let them learn to be gentle with you first. Only do it when you're comfortable and you want to. It might not hurt you, it doesn't hurt everyone, but as I've said before if it does hurt it's not 'frightening' pain just go gently, and you can stop whenever you want. If it's too much stop still and have a break or leave it for another day. Contrary to what the media portray sex isn't something that always works perfectly, there are some laughs along the way, and you certainly don't have to go at it as fast as possible. Just enjoy the journey and if it's too much try again another time :smile:

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

yeah i was scared that having sex for the first time would hurt, but my mate lost her virginity about a month ago and said it was sore but didnt hurt as much during the actual act. she said it was because her bf fingered her like a few weeks ago and she bled meaning her hymen broke. so id say use fingers first, coz that can help reduce the pain of sex so much more. and also do it with someone you trust... thats my plan anyways! lol.

Reply 15

onthejubileeline

I had the exact same problem as you, but when it came to sex we just had to persist until he could 'get it the whole way in', as it were. Persistence, relaxation, and maybe lube, are the keys to having sex if you're a little tight down there. And keep reminding yourself that it's a GOOD thing that you're so tight, it'll make sex a lot better once you're used to it.