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My boyfriend told me he watches porn and I’m really hurt?

1. Is it normal for me to be slightly hurt that he’s watching other women naked and getting off to it or am I over reacting? I was just having a convo with him about how I hope he’s faithful to me and he said “ I do watch porn so I don’t think I am “ now the fact that he feels guilty about worries me....because when I said I was hurt he said I was “ mental” and “ needed help” for being upset by it. It worries me that this could lead to him kissing a girl in a club and him feeling bad about it but then manipulating me into thinking I’m crazy for thinking it’s bad. Shall I break up with him as I feel like this might be a red flag? We’ve only been offfiail for a couple of months but since we’ve started having sex we have it often and he seems to enjoy it so I fail to understand the need for porn. I don’t want to end it because I’ve told my parents about him and they’ll get really upset for me and it’s embarassing. What shall I do???

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Normal. Its good you are only "slightly" hurt. Some girls freak out cause they have issues and low self esteem etc.

But its a guy thing, its normal to want at naked ladies. But its a different story to wanting to get off to porn. If I were you I'd explain it to him that quitting porn forever is worth it. This sort of hyper stimulation with todays fast internet becomes a drug. Multiple tabs, increasing fetishes etc

Although I don't think he is going to go cheat on you. If he were I don't he would need porn to tell him to do that. If hes unwilling or unable to quit its a red flag.

thunderstormfire

You should have a conversation with him and explain why it upsets you. It is likely that this stems from some insecurity you have in yourself. I used to be the same, but after a conversation with my bf I felt so reassured. He explained that it was nothing to do with me and obviously you can't be there to please your bf every time he's in the mood. Porn is purely a visual thing people use to get off, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you or isn't attracted to you, especially as you say you have a healthy sex life. If porn started to affect how he acted towards you, that is a red flag, but as it is I don't think you need to be worried at all. I can guarantee after he has done his business, he isn't even thinking about the porn and he's forgotten about it. It's purely to satisfy an urge.

Personally I’m not that bothered about my boyfriend watching porn and I definitely don’t think it’s unfaithful. If he were to contact another girl for example and ask for ‘nudes’ then yes I would think it is, but porn lacks that human interaction and is quite soulless really. I’m not sure I’d particularly see it as a red flag either, unless you asked him to stop and he didn’t at least have a rational discussion about it.
Personally I think not wanting to upset parents or being publicly embarrassed as the reason to stay in a relationship is a red flag...

Nearly every guy will watch porn, it's not a big deal. Breaking up with him is a massive overreaction.

username3741972

he’s not rlly understanding tbh. You have a good reason to be upset

username3832246

are you giving him enough - if not could explain why he watches it

I think it’s a normal to thing to feel upset. You should talk to him and explain how you feel because he should understand that it has hurt you a bit and try to resolve it together :smile:

:smile:

Why don’t you do a film of yourself for him to watch then everyone is happy xD
P.s. that was a joke do not take that seriously but do consider the first paragraph :smile:

:smile:

Guy watching porn = normal.
Girl getting annoyed/upset/insecure/over-analysing about guy watching porn = normal.

It's fine. You can either accept it, dump him or join in.

Original post by Anonymous

1. Is it normal for me to be slightly hurt that he’s watching other women naked and getting off to it or am I over reacting? I was just having a convo with him about how I hope he’s faithful to me and he said “ I do watch porn so I don’t think I am “ now the fact that he feels guilty about worries me....because when I said I was hurt he said I was “ mental” and “ needed help” for being upset by it. It worries me that this could lead to him kissing a girl in a club and him feeling bad about it but then manipulating me into thinking I’m crazy for thinking it’s bad. Shall I break up with him as I feel like this might be a red flag? We’ve only been offfiail for a couple of months but since we’ve started having sex we have it often and he seems to enjoy it so I fail to understand the need for porn. I don’t want to end it because I’ve told my parents about him and they’ll get really upset for me and it’s embarassing. What shall I do???

You over-reacted. Porn is normal, and can keep a relationship healthy. Watching porn is not cheating. Breaking up with him over this says more about you than it does about him in my opinion.

username3859380

I don't see the big issue to be honest and as somebody else said, breaking up with him is a massive over reaction. I watch porn myself sometimes when it comes to orgasming and, though I've never asked, I'm sure my boyfriend does as well. We too, have only been official for a number of months but at the end of the day, don't dump him because of it because that's ridiculous. The name calling however is lame and shouldn't be accepted... but it just depends how much you over reacted.

Very very normal. Guys need to destress, masturbating is how we do it. Get over it

Its a personal thing IMO bad I think it depends on the context.

I wouldn't permit my partner wanting to watch Porn. Not only is it degrading to my self esteem but quite arrogant knowing this hot guy is alive and well. It also suggests lack of control; having to resort to Porn brings up red flags. Porn shouldn't really be needed if you are in a relationship. If he's/she's addicted sirens should be blaring.

But if i'm cooking dinner or some other crap and my partner wants to **** and i'm not in the mood: go ahead. Just masturbate to a picture of me instead. And if I don't turn my partner on then we might as well call it quits.

Original post by Anonymous

1. Is it normal for me to be slightly hurt that he’s watching other women naked and getting off to it or am I over reacting? I was just having a convo with him about how I hope he’s faithful to me and he said “ I do watch porn so I don’t think I am “ now the fact that he feels guilty about worries me....because when I said I was hurt he said I was “ mental” and “ needed help” for being upset by it. It worries me that this could lead to him kissing a girl in a club and him feeling bad about it but then manipulating me into thinking I’m crazy for thinking it’s bad. Shall I break up with him as I feel like this might be a red flag? We’ve only been offfiail for a couple of months but since we’ve started having sex we have it often and he seems to enjoy it so I fail to understand the need for porn. I don’t want to end it because I’ve told my parents about him and they’ll get really upset for me and it’s embarassing. What shall I do???

Yes it's normal. Yes you're overreacting rather.

Original post by Anonymous

Its a personal thing IMO bad I think it depends on the context.

I wouldn't permit my partner wanting to watch Porn. Not only is it degrading to my self esteem but quite arrogant knowing this hot guy is alive and well. It also suggests lack of control; having to resort to Porn brings up red flags. Porn shouldn't really be needed if you are in a relationship. If he's/she's addicted sirens should be blaring.

But if i'm cooking dinner or some other crap and my partner wants to **** and i'm not in the mood: go ahead. Just masturbate to a picture of me instead. And if I don't turn my partner on then we might as well call it quits.

do u always cook for him lol

It's pretty normal for him to watch some porn. I wouldn't break up with him. It's only a problem if he's often watching porn instead of having sex with you, watching something degrading/aggressive/concerning, etc. Watching porn is VERY different to kissing someone else.

Men look at other women besides the one they are with. Just because you are together does not mean he will automatically stop finding other women attractive and certain scenarios arousing. It's the self control and commitment to you that's important. The porn is probably an outlet for him. Do you really want to take it away. He likes porn, I say leave him alone. However, if you don't like him liking porn then maybe he is just not the person for you. It's good that he is honest about it.

Original post by Anonymous

1. Is it normal for me to be slightly hurt that he’s watching other women naked and getting off to it or am I over reacting? I was just having a convo with him about how I hope he’s faithful to me and he said “ I do watch porn so I don’t think I am “ now the fact that he feels guilty about worries me....because when I said I was hurt he said I was “ mental” and “ needed help” for being upset by it. It worries me that this could lead to him kissing a girl in a club and him feeling bad about it but then manipulating me into thinking I’m crazy for thinking it’s bad. Shall I break up with him as I feel like this might be a red flag? We’ve only been offfiail for a couple of months but since we’ve started having sex we have it often and he seems to enjoy it so I fail to understand the need for porn. I don’t want to end it because I’ve told my parents about him and they’ll get really upset for me and it’s embarassing. What shall I do???

Guys watch porn. It doesn't mean they will cheat. Unless he has given you reason to think he may cheat e.g. flirting with another girl then you are 100% over-reacting. Carry on and you may end up losing him

Original post by Anonymous

Personally I’m not that bothered about my boyfriend watching porn and I definitely don’t think it’s unfaithful. If he were to contact another girl for example and ask for ‘nudes’ then yes I would think it is, but porn lacks that human interaction and is quite soulless really. I’m not sure I’d particularly see it as a red flag either, unless you asked him to stop and he didn’t at least have a rational discussion about it.
Personally I think not wanting to upset parents or being publicly embarrassed as the reason to stay in a relationship is a red flag...

agree

Maybe it’s just cos I’m a guy, but I really don’t see what the problem is?

At least he was honest about it.

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