love sweet love

okay this will sound so so sad, but im tearing myself up at moment becoz i have a long term boyf who i love to pieces but i dunno what to do about uni, coz i wana apply to leeds but its so far n we both no wouldnt work....and i know once i got too leeds i would wish that i had applied somewhere nearer where we could of been together! but im thinking if i go somwehre closer n we suddenly break up, then it'll b hard him bein so close 2 me, can some1 help my sad little self....lol x :redface:

Reply 1

blissy

15

Do what is best for you. If he loves you, he will understand. if he doesn't love you, you will break up and you will not regret missing an opportunity for him.

I had the choice between a university one hour away and one 6 hours away. I went to the far away one and everything is great with my bf still - we both recognise that I'm having to be far away so I can get the best job I can in the future, for both of us.

Reply 2

pink_lucie

14

omg youve had 22 posts and youve got a red gem already!
wow go you! :biggrin:

Reply 3

Charlotte_uk

OP

awwww wow ur 6 hours away from each other??? how often do u c each other??? thats incredible ur still 2geva... :smile:

i know its jus hard aint it, coz i know hes "one" for me, and i know that if i went far away n we broke up i be thinkin bout him al time n wudnt b able to focus on uni....xxxx :frown:

Reply 4

goldenbarnes

11

Shut up and get over it.

Reply 5

lou p lou

2

give it a try... i am mad about my bf and we're going to be at uni 4/5 hours apart (and an expensive train at that)... but i've been here a week and we're already finding it very difficult even though he came up this weekend (he's not started uni yet)... it takes a lot to adapt and it is so ahrd to suddenly not have them sucha big part of your life (i was used to doing everything with my bf, now we s[eak for like half an hour on the phone and he doesn't really know my new friends)...

my bf went home this morning and last night we spent hours talking about how hard we're finding it and how we just have to see how it goes... but i don't know whether it will last (i can't emphasize enough how difficult it is at first)

lou xxx

edit: i just thought i'd add that the only other girl in my flat out of 10 of us with a bf has cheated on him twice already and appareatntly she'd never cheated before

Reply 6

Charlotte_uk

OP

y are some people so mean too on here? esp the bloke on my thread, u dont know what its like, if u had a gf and were in same situation as loads of others girls now u know how hard it is so sssssh!

mmmm i guess, i know its guna b so so hard tahts the thing, i guess i should jus talk to him and c what he says,i wan go somewhere new, fresh start etc lol i dunno....aaaaaaaaaaaaah! xx what uni you at and what you studying? iwish i was goin this yr x :smile:

Reply 7

lou p lou

2

Charlotte_uk

y are some people so mean too on here? esp the bloke on my thread, u dont know what its like, if u had a gf and were in same situation as loads of others girls now u know how hard it is so sssssh!

mmmm i guess, i know its guna b so so hard tahts the thing, i guess i should jus talk to him and c what he says,i wan go somewhere new, fresh start etc lol i dunno....aaaaaaaaaaaaah! xx what uni you at and what you studying? iwish i was goin this yr x :smile:

hehe.. i would suggest don't talk about it til much sooner, i have friends who split up last christmas cos they were talking then... i only met my bf then and we never properly talked about it (we basically said that we would do anythign to stay together). i'm in dundee doing maths and psychology, my bf is in lancaster.

lou xxx

Reply 8

Charlotte_uk

OP

cool that sounds good how is it going? whats planned for ur freshers week? awww well my mate is goin nottingham and her bf is guna b down here, london, so i will see how it goes for her coz they r like the strongest couple ever and if they dont work, well no hope 4 me! xxx but yeh i am determind to make it work. u worked out how often u will c him? xx luv me xx

Reply 9

lou p lou

2

Charlotte_uk

cool that sounds good how is it going? whats planned for ur freshers week? awww well my mate is goin nottingham and her bf is guna b down here, london, so i will see how it goes for her coz they r like the strongest couple ever and if they dont work, well no hope 4 me! xxx but yeh i am determind to make it work. u worked out how often u will c him? xx luv me xx

i've had freshers week, started lectures today. my bf came up this weekend, and i can't go down til at least 3 weeks time... tbh it sucks majorly. but i think this will be the hardest time as we both have to learn to change and at the moment i've been really busy settling in and he's still been at home.

lou xxx

Reply 10

slowjamz

1

Charlotte_uk

okay this will sound so so sad, but im tearing myself up at moment becoz i have a long term boyf who i love to pieces but i dunno what to do about uni, coz i wana apply to leeds but its so far n we both no wouldnt work....and i know once i got too leeds i would wish that i had applied somewhere nearer where we could of been together! but im thinking if i go somwehre closer n we suddenly break up, then it'll b hard him bein so close 2 me, can some1 help my sad little self....lol x :redface:

I'd definitely say to apply to wherever you think you'd be happiest, because in the long-term, you're much more likely to regret staying close to home for the sake of somebody else. If he loves you, he'll want what's best for you too; if he doesn't, he's not worth staying at home for.

I'm about to start uni whilst my boyfriend (of two and a half years) will still be here at home, 150ish miles away. Some of the unis I applied to were closer to home, some were further; he always urged me to make a decision based on where I wanted to be and not to be near him, even though he's dreading the thought of us being apart. He's going to be coming up to visit me a fair bit, and I have no idea how we'll both feel in a few months or even a few weeks - but the important thing is to try. If you break up because you're at uni, it's only revealing the gaps that would have surfaced in your relationship sooner or later anyway. It'll show you what you're made of. Several of my friends are still in relationships that started before they went their separate ways to uni. Most aren't, but that doesn't mean you or I won't be in the first group :smile:

So definitely, follow your own heart and go to whichever uni you like the look of most. If you guys are meant to be, you'll get through it and come out stronger in the end. Good luck!

Reply 11

Unregistered

My boyfriend and I lasted a year and it worked ok, but then we broke up (for other reasons) over the summer. We managed to see each other about once every three weeks, and although it was difficult, we did get used to it, and it was so great when we finally did get to see each other. In a way it's good, because it allows you to have your own separate lives, but still be really close to each other. I know a couple who got together at college and are now going to the same uni because they can't bear to be apart, and I think their relationship is very unhealthy. You just have to make sure you can trust him, communicate as much as possible, make the most of the time you have together and believe it will work. Just try it, be positive, and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, it's for a reason.

Reply 12

Dr. Blazed

16

Dump him and go anyway.

No, wait, go and then dump him, for extra hilarious time.

Reply 13

lilsunflower

7

I know lots of people who manage long distance. I'll be doing the same.. my bf is a day's flight away from me. :frown:

Just remember that things can change and that you should accept these changes rather than denying them.

Reply 14

harrydone

I know how everyone feels on this thread. I am in a similar position in that i'm going away to Oxford and leaving my girlfriend who i love very much, at home (and at school still!). I think as others have said, going to university will 'test' the relationship beyond all belief and really show whther ones partner is the 'one'!

I am so hoping that everything will be okay! I cannot describe to you how much i want things to work out. I think what will keep a long distance relationship going is nt being jealous of new friends which are made irrespetive of gender involved! Trust is also a key factor.

Reply 15

frost105

14

Go to the uni that has the best course and that you really want to go to!

If its gonna work then it will no matter how far apart you are. However when you go to uni you meet new people, learn new things about yourself and go through different experiences that chances are that you will grow apart but and you'll regret not having made the best choice for youself.

Reply 16

soilman

12

goldenbarnes

Shut up and get over it.

LMFAO bit harsh, your obviously a loner.(joke :wink:

)

Reply 17

Cryptopath

Don't let him affect your education. You'll make it work it it's meant to work out. Besides, long distance relationships work fine if you're willing to commit to them.

Reply 18

Onearmedbandit

17

I know a couple, one of whom lives in Brunei and the other in Loughborough. They've been together for over a year and they only meet once every few months at least! :smile:

There's inspiration for you.

Reply 19

Evil Muffin

1

Hey, I'm in exeter, my boyfriend's in york. There is a way. Communication and cheap train fares :smile:

love sweet love

Related discussions

Articles for you

How The Student Room is moderated