Should I ask this girl out? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 months ago
#1
In my second year of university, as a media student, I met this girl in our TV module, in a group of just over a dozen or so. As I have Asperger's, I've never been great at social interaction. That, coupled with the fact that I can be quite quiet and shy around new people, the rest of the group pretty much bonded around me, rather than with me. We were perfectly civil and could work together fine, but I was never able to have any kind of relationship with them beyond that.

Despite this, I got to know one particular girl more than most of the others. I can't really say we ever got to being "friends" as such, as she was definitely closer to the others, but we talked to each other sometimes when we were alone together, or there weren't many others around in an area, and we actually got on really well. We had a lot in common and I just couldn't help but feel that there really was potential there for a stronger bond between us, even just as better friends, but I just didn't have the confidence to really act on it, and so summer came and I thought we wouldn’t speak again.

Third year came and for the first semester we were in separate groups and had virtually no contact at all. Although, at some point during, she came up on my Tinder and we matched. I couldn't message her for a good couple of weeks because of a major glitch I experienced on the app, but when that cleared, I sent her a message, just saying hey. She said "omg hey hahah!" back, and I asked how she was, but she never responded to that for some reason, so I thought that maybe that would be that.

Then, second semester, we're put in the same group together for our radio module, along with two others from the TV group (both of whom she was really close with, and regularly hung out with outside uni) and, to start with, I felt like an awkward spare part. I was struggling to socially engage with the rest of the group, much like last year, and they only really spoke to me when it was necessary. Although, she did make more of an effort with me than the others and bothered to say "hey Rob, how are you?" some of the time when we met (the others would normally just say a polite "hey" and that's it), but we didn't really talk much beyond that, although we never had any time alone together.

But things have greatly improved in the last week or so. During a lecture we had, one of the other two in the group, who was sat next to me, started talking to me about something regarding the course, but we then quickly switched into a friendly conversation and we were talking and laughing like we'd been great friends since the start. I don't know what brought this on but after that, the group generally were more inclusive of me, and that was the first time I'd really felt a part, and my confidence rose.

The next day, the four of us met up to plan for a forthcoming session, and I talked to them more this time, probably because of what had happened the day before. As luck would have it, at some point, me and this girl were left alone together in the room for a few minutes and so we got talking and we started talking about ourselves and what we would be getting up to over summer, and again we got on really well and had a laugh. I mentioned how I have several weddings this summer, and one of which, as she told me, just happens to be in the area where she lives, which she got really enthusiastic about, and we started to get to know each other on a more personal level. It's a shame it took this long to have this conversation, but it was nice nevertheless.

It's Easter now and then I only have a couple more months until this module's last deadline, and then that's it. Despite this though, I really feel I'd like to ask her to meet me outside of group meetings in that time. I definitely fancy her, and I do feel I'd like to get to know her better, but I just don't know what to do, or even, if I should.

I was thinking of messaging her and asking if she wanted to meet up. It's great if she says yes and things go well from there, but if she says no, I'm worried that that will just make things awkward, seeing as we’ll still have to work together. This is the only thing that's holding me back, otherwise I'd go for it. But at the same time, I'd hate to just throw away an opportunity out of fear, and then nothing happens as a result.

Another thing is that I met her three semesters ago and it's taken this long to really hit anything off with her, but what do you guys think? Good idea or should I just forget about it?
reply
PhilDanthropist
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#2
Report 11 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
In my second year of university, as a media student, I met this girl in our TV module, in a group of just over a dozen or so. As I have Asperger's, I've never been great at social interaction. That, coupled with the fact that I can be quite quiet and shy around new people, the rest of the group pretty much bonded around me, rather than with me. We were perfectly civil and could work together fine, but I was never able to have any kind of relationship with them beyond that.

Despite this, I got to know one particular girl more than most of the others. I can't really say we ever got to being "friends" as such, as she was definitely closer to the others, but we talked to each other sometimes when we were alone together, or there weren't many others around in an area, and we actually got on really well. We had a lot in common and I just couldn't help but feel that there really was potential there for a stronger bond between us, even just as better friends, but I just didn't have the confidence to really act on it, and so summer came and I thought we wouldn’t speak again.

Third year came and for the first semester we were in separate groups and had virtually no contact at all. Although, at some point during, she came up on my Tinder and we matched. I couldn't message her for a good couple of weeks because of a major glitch I experienced on the app, but when that cleared, I sent her a message, just saying hey. She said "omg hey hahah!" back, and I asked how she was, but she never responded to that for some reason, so I thought that maybe that would be that.

Then, second semester, we're put in the same group together for our radio module, along with two others from the TV group (both of whom she was really close with, and regularly hung out with outside uni) and, to start with, I felt like an awkward spare part. I was struggling to socially engage with the rest of the group, much like last year, and they only really spoke to me when it was necessary. Although, she did make more of an effort with me than the others and bothered to say "hey Rob, how are you?" some of the time when we met (the others would normally just say a polite "hey" and that's it), but we didn't really talk much beyond that, although we never had any time alone together.

But things have greatly improved in the last week or so. During a lecture we had, one of the other two in the group, who was sat next to me, started talking to me about something regarding the course, but we then quickly switched into a friendly conversation and we were talking and laughing like we'd been great friends since the start. I don't know what brought this on but after that, the group generally were more inclusive of me, and that was the first time I'd really felt a part, and my confidence rose.

The next day, the four of us met up to plan for a forthcoming session, and I talked to them more this time, probably because of what had happened the day before. As luck would have it, at some point, me and this girl were left alone together in the room for a few minutes and so we got talking and we started talking about ourselves and what we would be getting up to over summer, and again we got on really well and had a laugh. I mentioned how I have several weddings this summer, and one of which, as she told me, just happens to be in the area where she lives, which she got really enthusiastic about, and we started to get to know each other on a more personal level. It's a shame it took this long to have this conversation, but it was nice nevertheless.

It's Easter now and then I only have a couple more months until this module's last deadline, and then that's it. Despite this though, I really feel I'd like to ask her to meet me outside of group meetings in that time. I definitely fancy her, and I do feel I'd like to get to know her better, but I just don't know what to do, or even, if I should.

I was thinking of messaging her and asking if she wanted to meet up. It's great if she says yes and things go well from there, but if she says no, I'm worried that that will just make things awkward, seeing as we’ll still have to work together. This is the only thing that's holding me back, otherwise I'd go for it. But at the same time, I'd hate to just throw away an opportunity out of fear, and then nothing happens as a result.

Another thing is that I met her three semesters ago and it's taken this long to really hit anything off with her, but what do you guys think? Good idea or should I just forget about it?


There's no harm in trying... defo ask her and see how it goes and let me know!!
0
reply
km11
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#3
Report 11 months ago
#3
Ask her, absolutely nothing to lose.
0
reply
sxrxh.125
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#4
Report 11 months ago
#4
yh ask her it ll be cute she s probably either just wanting to be your bestfriend or giving u clues to date her
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Where do you need more help?

Which Uni should I go to? (116)
17.6%
How successful will I become if I take my planned subjects? (70)
10.62%
How happy will I be if I take this career? (115)
17.45%
How do I achieve my dream Uni placement? (97)
14.72%
What should I study to achieve my dream career? (63)
9.56%
How can I be the best version of myself? (198)
30.05%

Watched Threads

View All