Crying during driving lesson Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
So I’ve been driving for about 6 moths now, and I feel like my driving instructor is getting more frustrated at me each lesson because I should be getting the hang of things now. My previous two lessons went really well, and so this lesson I was positive. But it all just went wrong. T stared when we were doing reverse bay parking and I wasn’t turning the wheel quick enough or slowing down/speeding up when I should. He was quite obviously getting inpatient with me, and I go myself in such a fluster I took my foot off the clutch before setting the gear in to neutral and the car stalled. He said ‘I can’t believe you just did that’. So I was obviously very embarrassed. So then after that was just a cascade of mistakes, I was driving too close to parked cars, not stopping when I was meant to to let cats go past. He had to take the wheel a couple of times so I didn’t go in to the curb on sharp bends. To be fair, I did meet a lot of difficult situations on this lesson compared to normal, but he just wasn’t being as patient as usual. And the more I kept doing them the more I stressed I was getting. I then prepared to stop at a reds light, as I had everything ready it went on to green. So I then went In to to panic and he told me to just take my foot off the break. I don’t even know what I did I think I took my foot off the clutch and the car juddered. And then on a roundabout I stalled, and the car wouldn’t accelerate properly after that. He told me that it had taken so much abuse that the computer system had gotten confused so he was shouting instruction at me to get it going again, saying ‘foot on accelerate, now off, now on. I was like what’s happening and he just said aid I’ll tell you in a minute. But everything he was saying was just so stern and frustrated. I felt so embarrassed I just broke down coming off the roundabaout. I felt like it was a mix of me making these stupid mistakes and him being too harsh with me. It’s frustrating enough for me when I do things wrong, but even more so when he tells me I should know this and gets inpatient with me, it just doesn’t help. He’s not a horrible instructor, he’s actually very good. But today I thought we was out of line, just didnt need to be so inpatient with me, I don’t think I would have made the mistakes that I did so much if he was a bit more empathetic. Has anyone else cried during/after their lesson or felt like this? I just feel like I’m seriously getting no where with driving.
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nevershear
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#2
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Have you spoken to him about it? If nothing improves, it's time for a new instructor.
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IDOZ
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Sorry, I don’t know the time unit moth?
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rhombus chombus
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You're a customer to his service, if you don't like how he does things, find somebody else
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Notnek
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’ve been driving for about 6 moths now, and I feel like my driving instructor is getting more frustrated at me each lesson because I should be getting the hang of things now. My previous two lessons went really well, and so this lesson I was positive. But it all just went wrong. T stared when we were doing reverse bay parking and I wasn’t turning the wheel quick enough or slowing down/speeding up when I should. He was quite obviously getting inpatient with me, and I go myself in such a fluster I took my foot off the clutch before setting the gear in to neutral and the car stalled. He said ‘I can’t believe you just did that’. So I was obviously very embarrassed. So then after that was just a cascade of mistakes, I was driving too close to parked cars, not stopping when I was meant to to let cats go past. He had to take the wheel a couple of times so I didn’t go in to the curb on sharp bends. To be fair, I did meet a lot of difficult situations on this lesson compared to normal, but he just wasn’t being as patient as usual. And the more I kept doing them the more I stressed I was getting. I then prepared to stop at a reds light, as I had everything ready it went on to green. So I then went In to to panic and he told me to just take my foot off the break. I don’t even know what I did I think I took my foot off the clutch and the car juddered. And then on a roundabout I stalled, and the car wouldn’t accelerate properly after that. He told me that it had taken so much abuse that the computer system had gotten confused so he was shouting instruction at me to get it going again, saying ‘foot on accelerate, now off, now on. I was like what’s happening and he just said aid I’ll tell you in a minute. But everything he was saying was just so stern and frustrated. I felt so embarrassed I just broke down coming off the roundabaout. I felt like it was a mix of me making these stupid mistakes and him being too harsh with me. It’s frustrating enough for me when I do things wrong, but even more so when he tells me I should know this and gets inpatient with me, it just doesn’t help. He’s not a horrible instructor, he’s actually very good. But today I thought we was out of line, just didnt need to be so inpatient with me, I don’t think I would have made the mistakes that I did so much if he was a bit more empathetic. Has anyone else cried during/after their lesson or felt like this? I just feel like I’m seriously getting no where with driving.
Hi, we've all had bad lessons and it's common to think afterwards that you'll never improve. But you will improve and pass you test eventually

You said the last few lessons went okay so this just sounds like a blip and it also sounds like your instructor was being unnecessarily harsh. So it's fine to cry but try to put it behind you before your next lesson so that you have the same confidence as you did a few weeks ago. If you find that your instructor is making the situation worse on a regular basis then it's time to have a conversation with them and if that doesn't help then consider getting a new instructor.
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Feastful
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#6
1. When you find yourself getting stressed out while driving, you need to drive somewhere to pull over safely and take a break. Let you driving instructor know how you're feeling and he will not object to this.

2. You need to explain to your driving instructor that his tone didn't help. There were communication faults on both sides (you didn't ask for a break when you needed one and he got snappy) and it's important that you arrive to some sort of middle ground/better understanding in this.
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CrimsonTyphoon
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#7
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#7
Please change your instructor!

I had a similar experience with one instructor. He totally destroyed my confidence and I would dread his lessons. The b-a-stard made me cry 3 times. Never again.
After that I had some sort of PSTD so i took a 6 month break from driving.
January of this year i got a new instructor and he helped build my confidence. In under 2 months I went from nervous wreck to first time passer (thursday 29th).!

You're paying him. You the customer, if your not satisfied with the service take your money else where! I wish I did that alot of sooner with my old instructor.
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MKaur18
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’ve been driving for about 6 moths now, and I feel like my driving instructor is getting more frustrated at me each lesson because I should be getting the hang of things now. My previous two lessons went really well, and so this lesson I was positive. But it all just went wrong. T stared when we were doing reverse bay parking and I wasn’t turning the wheel quick enough or slowing down/speeding up when I should. He was quite obviously getting inpatient with me, and I go myself in such a fluster I took my foot off the clutch before setting the gear in to neutral and the car stalled. He said ‘I can’t believe you just did that’. So I was obviously very embarrassed. So then after that was just a cascade of mistakes, I was driving too close to parked cars, not stopping when I was meant to to let cats go past. He had to take the wheel a couple of times so I didn’t go in to the curb on sharp bends. To be fair, I did meet a lot of difficult situations on this lesson compared to normal, but he just wasn’t being as patient as usual. And the more I kept doing them the more I stressed I was getting. I then prepared to stop at a reds light, as I had everything ready it went on to green. So I then went In to to panic and he told me to just take my foot off the break. I don’t even know what I did I think I took my foot off the clutch and the car juddered. And then on a roundabout I stalled, and the car wouldn’t accelerate properly after that. He told me that it had taken so much abuse that the computer system had gotten confused so he was shouting instruction at me to get it going again, saying ‘foot on accelerate, now off, now on. I was like what’s happening and he just said aid I’ll tell you in a minute. But everything he was saying was just so stern and frustrated. I felt so embarrassed I just broke down coming off the roundabaout. I felt like it was a mix of me making these stupid mistakes and him being too harsh with me. It’s frustrating enough for me when I do things wrong, but even more so when he tells me I should know this and gets inpatient with me, it just doesn’t help. He’s not a horrible instructor, he’s actually very good. But today I thought we was out of line, just didnt need to be so inpatient with me, I don’t think I would have made the mistakes that I did so much if he was a bit more empathetic. Has anyone else cried during/after their lesson or felt like this? I just feel like I’m seriously getting no where with driving.
I know how you feel.. driving is frustrating. Some days are good and some are not.

You should speak to your instructor since your paying him. If he continues to not be patient, then find a new instructor.
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LavenderBlueSky88
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#9
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#9
Honestly I’d get a new instructor - never understand why an instructor would need to talk to a pupil like that. Plus it sounds like his car had problems, you shouldn’t have to alter your driving to accommodate that.

I had a driving instructor who really dented my confidence - she wasn’t terrible but was just reallt patronising and made snide comments all the time, making me feel like I was a naughty kid at school. After her I had some lovely ones who were really encouraging - never raised their voice or stressed me out and made me feel in complete control.

If you’ve got your test booked soon then it’s probably not worth looking for another instructor but if not I’d definitely suggest it - anyone would be nervous with someone barking instructions at them!
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Configured
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#10
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#10
I think I would cry just after passing a driving test due to a feeling of relief after feeling jealous my brother, (who is 4 years younger than I am), and most people I knew from my year at school passed their driving tests about 4 or 5 years ago.
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oliverc93
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#11
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#11
I definitely had lessons that were a bit like that so I know how you feel. Getting frustrated and upset, and then making mistakes because you're frustrated and upset making you even worse.
Other people have mentioned pulling over to take a break, which is definitely a really good thing to do. Pull over, take some breaths and calm down a bit.

With your instructor, as you said it was a one off and that he is normally a good instructor, I would chalk it up to a bad day and see how you get on moving forwards. If he's like that again, have a conversation with him about it, and if hes unreceptive to that conversation or is just an ass, then get a new instructor.
I think although its horrible when your instructor gets frustrated with you, it's still important to remember that he is still a person, and we all have bad days and things going on that affect our every day lives and our work.
If it's a consistent issue though, definitely get a new one.
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the bear
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#12
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you might feel less stressed with a female instructor ?

:holmes:

" So then after that was just a cascade of mistakes, I was driving too close to parked cars, not stopping when I was meant to let cats go past. "


it's important to give way to the cats.

:nyan:
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999tigger
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’ve been driving for about 6 moths now, and I feel like my driving instructor is getting more frustrated at me each lesson because I should be getting the hang of things now. My previous two lessons went really well, and so this lesson I was positive. But it all just went wrong. T stared when we were doing reverse bay parking and I wasn’t turning the wheel quick enough or slowing down/speeding up when I should. He was quite obviously getting inpatient with me, and I go myself in such a fluster I took my foot off the clutch before setting the gear in to neutral and the car stalled. He said ‘I can’t believe you just did that’. So I was obviously very embarrassed. So then after that was just a cascade of mistakes, I was driving too close to parked cars, not stopping when I was meant to to let cats go past. He had to take the wheel a couple of times so I didn’t go in to the curb on sharp bends. To be fair, I did meet a lot of difficult situations on this lesson compared to normal, but he just wasn’t being as patient as usual. And the more I kept doing them the more I stressed I was getting. I then prepared to stop at a reds light, as I had everything ready it went on to green. So I then went In to to panic and he told me to just take my foot off the break. I don’t even know what I did I think I took my foot off the clutch and the car juddered. And then on a roundabout I stalled, and the car wouldn’t accelerate properly after that. He told me that it had taken so much abuse that the computer system had gotten confused so he was shouting instruction at me to get it going again, saying ‘foot on accelerate, now off, now on. I was like what’s happening and he just said aid I’ll tell you in a minute. But everything he was saying was just so stern and frustrated. I felt so embarrassed I just broke down coming off the roundabaout. I felt like it was a mix of me making these stupid mistakes and him being too harsh with me. It’s frustrating enough for me when I do things wrong, but even more so when he tells me I should know this and gets inpatient with me, it just doesn’t help. He’s not a horrible instructor, he’s actually very good. But today I thought we was out of line, just didnt need to be so inpatient with me, I don’t think I would have made the mistakes that I did so much if he was a bit more empathetic. Has anyone else cried during/after their lesson or felt like this? I just feel like I’m seriously getting no where with driving.
+1 to all those who said you are paying for a service, just get a more empathetic instructor where you will feel more relaxed, less stressed and do better. Part of it is the instructors fault for not getting the best from you. You are paying and no need to apologise.
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sloths
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#14
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Don't worry! I've had lessons like this where it feels like you keep making mistakes. I also once burst into tears. I safely pulled over, parked and then cried haha it happens. If you feel frustrated in the future pull over and take a few breaths. If your instructor continues to be impatient with you then tell him that you don't feel supported.

I don't think you should instantly get a new instructor, mine was quite stern with me as well and would grab the steering wheel like yours, but it made me a better driver. Switching to someone who will be gentler with you isnt necessarily the best thing
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Mfaranov123
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#15
Report 4 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’ve been driving for about 6 moths now, and I feel like my driving instructor is getting more frustrated at me each lesson because I should be getting the hang of things now. My previous two lessons went really well, and so this lesson I was positive. But it all just went wrong. T stared when we were doing reverse bay parking and I wasn’t turning the wheel quick enough or slowing down/speeding up when I should. He was quite obviously getting inpatient with me, and I go myself in such a fluster I took my foot off the clutch before setting the gear in to neutral and the car stalled. He said ‘I can’t believe you just did that’. So I was obviously very embarrassed. So then after that was just a cascade of mistakes, I was driving too close to parked cars, not stopping when I was meant to to let cats go past. He had to take the wheel a couple of times so I didn’t go in to the curb on sharp bends. To be fair, I did meet a lot of difficult situations on this lesson compared to normal, but he just wasn’t being as patient as usual. And the more I kept doing them the more I stressed I was getting. I then prepared to stop at a reds light, as I had everything ready it went on to green. So I then went In to to panic and he told me to just take my foot off the break. I don’t even know what I did I think I took my foot off the clutch and the car juddered. And then on a roundabout I stalled, and the car wouldn’t accelerate properly after that. He told me that it had taken so much abuse that the computer system had gotten confused so he was shouting instruction at me to get it going again, saying ‘foot on accelerate, now off, now on. I was like what’s happening and he just said aid I’ll tell you in a minute. But everything he was saying was just so stern and frustrated. I felt so embarrassed I just broke down coming off the roundabaout. I felt like it was a mix of me making these stupid mistakes and him being too harsh with me. It’s frustrating enough for me when I do things wrong, but even more so when he tells me I should know this and gets inpatient with me, it just doesn’t help. He’s not a horrible instructor, he’s actually very good. But today I thought we was out of line, just didnt need to be so inpatient with me, I don’t think I would have made the mistakes that I did so much if he was a bit more empathetic. Has anyone else cried during/after their lesson or felt like this? I just feel like I’m seriously getting no where with driving.

Omgsh! I am so thankful that I have found this community. Driving has been such an emotional rollercoaster for me. Right now I am bawling once again from another horrific experience. I feel like such a failure, an embarrassment, and a scaredy cat. I’m also stubborn so that hasn’t helped because I haven’t wanted to drive since I was 10. Anyway, today was actually going ok. Until, let’s just say, I nearly ran straight into a car and my dad has to reach over to slam on the brakes and everything just went way way way way way way down hill from there. Like you would not believe everything that went wrong. Sorry for my rant lol
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