This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Am I just being lazy?
- Depressed after transferring uni
- Y13 poor grades due to mental health
- Wanna be friends 16f
- What would you do if you was me?
- Considering to dropping out of law
- i hate university and wish i'd never gone.
- do I need mitigated circumstance evidence during ongoing exams if i apply afterwards
- Gap year after getting in to Oxford
- Feeling low most of the time what should I do?
- Retake year
- feeling worthless despite hard work
- dont want to go to trent
- Failing first year pharmacy resits
- dont see the point in going uni :/
- Will I receive funding for a new course if I have already done 2 years?
- Bsc Computer Science at UWL/Birkbeck
- …
- Stay at home for another gap year?
- University choices for Computer science
Depressed at Uni.....
I dont care if I look like a bit of an idiot here.....I just wonder if anyone else relates to me about this
Uni started out ok, i went out, did things, met people
after a while of this i realised that i hadnt made any meanginful connections and barely had even met a person i truly bonded with beyond us just being at the same place at the same time
in classes it's more intense....in college i had such fun in classes just having my own world of chats with people .....but you cant really relax in a room full of 10 people where everything you say is heard by all
things got bad with my flatmates, one is agressive, one is never in....so i only really talk to one flatmate now
i dont know what to do
all the societies seem about bar crawling......all i want is a good friend or two....i feel really lonely.......
i think i like sheffield....it is a bit grimy in places but i think offbeat is cool, it has some fun record stores, i really like the showroom, and the leadmill is a cool gig venue....i dont think it's the kind of thing where changing unis would do much
but sometimes for a 'people person' (and i am....i had a lot of friends at college and have made friends everywhere i've been in the past) i dont think i've ever felt so alone.
i KNOW a lot of this is down to me......but i just dont know what to do about it at this stage....i feel groups have already formed and i'm left behind or something.
Uni started out ok, i went out, did things, met people
after a while of this i realised that i hadnt made any meanginful connections and barely had even met a person i truly bonded with beyond us just being at the same place at the same time
in classes it's more intense....in college i had such fun in classes just having my own world of chats with people .....but you cant really relax in a room full of 10 people where everything you say is heard by all
things got bad with my flatmates, one is agressive, one is never in....so i only really talk to one flatmate now
i dont know what to do
all the societies seem about bar crawling......all i want is a good friend or two....i feel really lonely.......
i think i like sheffield....it is a bit grimy in places but i think offbeat is cool, it has some fun record stores, i really like the showroom, and the leadmill is a cool gig venue....i dont think it's the kind of thing where changing unis would do much
but sometimes for a 'people person' (and i am....i had a lot of friends at college and have made friends everywhere i've been in the past) i dont think i've ever felt so alone.
i KNOW a lot of this is down to me......but i just dont know what to do about it at this stage....i feel groups have already formed and i'm left behind or something.
Scroll to see replies
That's uni really innit? I feel a bit like that as I've not really connected with my flatmates, hence why I won't be living with them next year. Sometimes people don't get on and that's the way it is. Stick with it and you'll meet more people.
Other than that I don't know what else you could do. Fancy a pint lol?
Other than that I don't know what else you could do. Fancy a pint lol?
Hey, I just read your post and can totally relate to everything that you have said here. Im also at Sheffield Uni, in my second year, and from what you have said I have also had similar experiences. Likewise, in freshers week and towards the beginning of my first year, I met lots of people and went out lots, but didn't really feel that close to any of the people that I met. I was actually quite homesick and felt very lonely. I think I really missed having really close friends around. The way that my course was structured didn't really help either; I do history, and there is very little contact time, so again, it was difficult making good friendships.
However, I found that after Christmas, the people I lived with (in halls), started to calm down a bit and people began to show their true personalities. This was when I started to form my close friendships. I know that its a bit different living in a flat, as there are fewer people, but those flatmates that you don't really get along with may yet suprise you. Another thing to remember is that there are a lot of people who are feeling this way, but they are doing a good job of hiding it. One of the bubbliest, loudest people on my corrider last year turned out to be the most homesick and miserable of the lot of us, yet it took a long time for us to realise because she kept it so well hidden.
Aside from hoping that people will change, there are other ways that you could maybe meet more people, or get to know your current friends a little better. I agree that a lot of societies do seem to revolve around drinking, but not all of them do, so maybe check the union website, which has a list and see if there are any that you might fancy joining. Maybe also see if your department has a society, as this can be a good way of meeting more people on your course. I don't know if you have thought about getting a part-time job, but this is another good way to meet people, especially if you work in the union.
I think the best thing to do right now is not to panic too much about this, as from what people have told me it seems to be fairly normal, and maybe concentrate on developing the friendships you have already made.
However, I found that after Christmas, the people I lived with (in halls), started to calm down a bit and people began to show their true personalities. This was when I started to form my close friendships. I know that its a bit different living in a flat, as there are fewer people, but those flatmates that you don't really get along with may yet suprise you. Another thing to remember is that there are a lot of people who are feeling this way, but they are doing a good job of hiding it. One of the bubbliest, loudest people on my corrider last year turned out to be the most homesick and miserable of the lot of us, yet it took a long time for us to realise because she kept it so well hidden.
Aside from hoping that people will change, there are other ways that you could maybe meet more people, or get to know your current friends a little better. I agree that a lot of societies do seem to revolve around drinking, but not all of them do, so maybe check the union website, which has a list and see if there are any that you might fancy joining. Maybe also see if your department has a society, as this can be a good way of meeting more people on your course. I don't know if you have thought about getting a part-time job, but this is another good way to meet people, especially if you work in the union.
I think the best thing to do right now is not to panic too much about this, as from what people have told me it seems to be fairly normal, and maybe concentrate on developing the friendships you have already made.
I understand what you're saying. I feel the fact that I found a good group of friends was so much down to luck. Although I didn't get on with my flatmates either when in halls last year. The friendships really didn't start to solidify until semester 2 though, I think it's perfectly normal for friendships still to be a bit flimsy at this point.
Look in to the societies again, there will be a good number which do stuff other than drinking. The walking club springs to mind. Seems a good way to explore and talk to new people as your walking. Or the Duke of Edinburgh society. Then there are things like the environmental society which I presume do stuff other than drinking. And aikido club which I'm part of is on every night of the week so there's always somewhere to go to see familiar faces. If you're even the slightest bit theist/agnostic going to church provides a great community too.
Look in to the societies again, there will be a good number which do stuff other than drinking. The walking club springs to mind. Seems a good way to explore and talk to new people as your walking. Or the Duke of Edinburgh society. Then there are things like the environmental society which I presume do stuff other than drinking. And aikido club which I'm part of is on every night of the week so there's always somewhere to go to see familiar faces. If you're even the slightest bit theist/agnostic going to church provides a great community too.
Where abouts is a good church in sheffield?
I only know where the cathedral is!
the walking society did interest me, i'm on the mailing list, but they seem a bit too intense walking for like 10 hours in a day, i guess i could try it though.
it feels like every society i was interested in and was inactive as they dont really have socials which is depressing
i guess i could try the environmental society, but for someone who leaves his laptop on all nite and every day i'd feel a bit of a fake just going for the sake of meeting people while neglecting what the society is even about.
I only know where the cathedral is!
the walking society did interest me, i'm on the mailing list, but they seem a bit too intense walking for like 10 hours in a day, i guess i could try it though.
it feels like every society i was interested in and was inactive as they dont really have socials which is depressing
i guess i could try the environmental society, but for someone who leaves his laptop on all nite and every day i'd feel a bit of a fake just going for the sake of meeting people while neglecting what the society is even about.
There are several good churches . 
High peak club are very active and do the whole walking thing etc, and not really do the drunken socials.
What else were you interested in then?
High peak club are very active and do the whole walking thing etc, and not really do the drunken socials.
What else were you interested in then?
I don't really go to church so I don't really know. I've just been with Inferiormadbeing a couple of times to his church St. Thomas' up in Crookes, who also have another half based down in the Philadelphia Centre. Free biscuits, comfy padded chairs, and songs which aren't sung at an unattainable high-pitched level were all good points 
mtbab
i'll happily go for a pint/starbucks/coffee/sandwich with you if want sometime have a good natter haha
I'd come along as well
To the topic starter - Alot of people feel this way when they join uni, sometimes into their 2nd or 3rd year. I had some really good friends at secondary who went to uni and come back at the holidays telling me about how they havnt really connected with anyone over there and how they feel so lonely.
I know the whole fresher's week and meeting new people time has kinda past but theres still plenty of opportunity to meet new people. Through my work with the theatre company i effectivly meet an entire new set of people with every production i've worked on. I know quite a few tsr users whom i met at productions.
Also, dont think that just because it isnt fresher's week people wont want to meet new people. Me and my group of friends frequently introduce ourselves and talk to others nearby in the bar.
Finally there are always things such as these forums to find like minded people. One of my very good uni friends i originally knew because she added me to msn after getting my address off of these forums before she even came to uni.
Dont get stuck in the mindset that you cant/wont meet new people.
I think what you're describing applies to most people actually - I don't feel there's anyone in the University I really know well, but that's adult life in general - you tend to have two or three really close friends instead of dozens, and it takes quite a while to even find those.
I study english lit!
it would be nice to meetup
and luckily I think english lit here in sheffield is decent....it's just the right level for me of being academic and interesting but not intense or with an insanely high work load.
I know people who have it the other way.....who enjoy social stuff but DESPISE their courses .....it's difficult to get the balance right in life.
by the way could someone who knows where st thomas's church is point me in the direction?
i walked up to crookes but could not find it
the amount of houses up there freaked me the hell out and i did not know where to begin looking
it would be nice to meetup
and luckily I think english lit here in sheffield is decent....it's just the right level for me of being academic and interesting but not intense or with an insanely high work load.
I know people who have it the other way.....who enjoy social stuff but DESPISE their courses .....it's difficult to get the balance right in life.
by the way could someone who knows where st thomas's church is point me in the direction?
i walked up to crookes but could not find it
the amount of houses up there freaked me the hell out and i did not know where to begin looking
St Thomas Crookes, Nairn St,
Sheffield S10 1UL, UKhttp://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=s10+1ul&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB
fficial&client=firefox-a&um=1&sa=N&tab=wl
But i'm pretty sure you can see it from the main crookes road...maybe someone else will know for sure, but i've walked past it a few times so i'm 90% sure, and now i'm unemployed I even have time to go there now woot woot!
Sheffield S10 1UL, UKhttp://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=s10+1ul&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB
fficial&client=firefox-a&um=1&sa=N&tab=wlBut i'm pretty sure you can see it from the main crookes road...maybe someone else will know for sure, but i've walked past it a few times so i'm 90% sure, and now i'm unemployed I even have time to go there now woot woot!
I know what you mean about that first term - it was mad! It takes time to settle into a routinge and meet people you really connect with.
I have heard that the Catholic Chaplaincy at Sheffield University is really friendly and you don't have to be a Catholic to go there. A mate on my course goes there and he's not all intensely religious or anything. He just found it a friendly place to go. Hmm, sounds so good now that I'm talking about it, I'm tempted to go myself!
good luck to you anyway, hope you find your niche!
I have heard that the Catholic Chaplaincy at Sheffield University is really friendly and you don't have to be a Catholic to go there. A mate on my course goes there and he's not all intensely religious or anything. He just found it a friendly place to go. Hmm, sounds so good now that I'm talking about it, I'm tempted to go myself!
good luck to you anyway, hope you find your niche!
Nixon
I study english lit!
it would be nice to meetup
and luckily I think english lit here in sheffield is decent....it's just the right level for me of being academic and interesting but not intense or with an insanely high work load.
I know people who have it the other way.....who enjoy social stuff but DESPISE their courses .....it's difficult to get the balance right in life.
by the way could someone who knows where st thomas's church is point me in the direction?
i walked up to crookes but could not find it
the amount of houses up there freaked me the hell out and i did not know where to begin looking
it would be nice to meetup
and luckily I think english lit here in sheffield is decent....it's just the right level for me of being academic and interesting but not intense or with an insanely high work load.
I know people who have it the other way.....who enjoy social stuff but DESPISE their courses .....it's difficult to get the balance right in life.
by the way could someone who knows where st thomas's church is point me in the direction?
i walked up to crookes but could not find it
the amount of houses up there freaked me the hell out and i did not know where to begin looking
You have to walk up crookes road past the newsagents and its on your left.
If you fancy meeting up sometime I can show you.
Don't panic about houses, if you aren't sure of having people to live with perhaps take a closer look at uni accomodation, the edge is supposed to be particularly nice.
Could we have some sort of Sheffield SR meet up?
I think it'd be really nice to put names to real life faces
I think it'd be really nice to put names to real life faces
The drink sounds like a fantastic idea to me too. Always good to put names to faces and all. I'd imagine most are in the Broomhill/Crookes area?
Related discussions
- Am I just being lazy?
- Depressed after transferring uni
- Y13 poor grades due to mental health
- Wanna be friends 16f
- What would you do if you was me?
- Considering to dropping out of law
- i hate university and wish i'd never gone.
- do I need mitigated circumstance evidence during ongoing exams if i apply afterwards
- Gap year after getting in to Oxford
- Feeling low most of the time what should I do?
- Retake year
- feeling worthless despite hard work
- dont want to go to trent
- Failing first year pharmacy resits
- dont see the point in going uni :/
- Will I receive funding for a new course if I have already done 2 years?
- Bsc Computer Science at UWL/Birkbeck
- …
- Stay at home for another gap year?
- University choices for Computer science
Latest
Trending
Last reply 7 hours ago
University of Sheffield Student- Ask me your questions about University!Last reply 2 weeks ago
Official University of Sheffield 2025 Applicant ThreadLast reply 1 month ago
Interview tips! East Asian Languages with foundation year. Mature studentPosted 1 month ago
Official Uni of Sheffield Offer Holders Thread 2025 entryPosted 1 month ago
How important is the last day of Global Engineering Challenge Week?Last reply 1 month ago
guys has anyone got an offer for sheffield law, it's my dream uniLast reply 2 months ago
What's happening with the Sheffield Postgraduate Scholarship (for Home students)?
