failed medic/son

i applied 2nd time this year for medicine. first time i applied was straight out of school, i didnt want it then. my mum cried when i got rejected from everywhere. Now, i am a final year student studying genetics at one of the best RG unis around. i applied again and this time i did want it, i got 2 interviews and i got rejected from both, and i already had two rejections. my mom cried this time too. i had vowed to never let my mom cry because of me after the first time it happened. it feels like ****.
i dont go out much, i dont game, drink, smoke or do drugs. i have never had a girlfriend. i have done everything as my parents wanted, except taking medicine instead of genetics first time round. i have a spotless character. i have volunteered, done music and sports and i have the grades.

about a week after my last rejection (during which i had been crying about every 2 hours), i was finally starting to move on and preparing for the next round along with applying for masters/**** jobs/grad schemes. i was playing a game on my phone, my mum comes in and says this is the reason that i did not get into medicine, because i am a gamer. when i say that playing a game on my phone occasionally doesnt make me a gamer, she says 'no one can change anyone's destiny'. this isnt the first time she has said something like this, it feels like i got the wind knocked out of me.

I just want to see my parents be proud of me, just once. i wonder if that will ever happen.

I got all my offers for medicine first time round. But I did it all for family< i was dying to make them proud. Only now do I hate msyelf for getign into a career I don't like, and it hurts so so much deep down to know their "love" is so conditional,a nd they will only love me if I always do excatly as they say so. i am just waiitng for the day I a, forced to disagree on their opinion on somehting ( eg marriage) and suddenly I become the worst person in the world, as if I have never done anything for them.

Please dont cry. realsie that their is more of us out there like you, i yearn for a single moment of appreciation from my family. You lost the dream twice, I gained it first time but am still so unhappy.

I want to send oyu a hug, please dont cry. Be strong, because life goes on

much love xx

take care

What were your GCSEs, A levels, UCKAT/BMAT* results, and work experience/volunteering.