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Am I straight or...?

So I have liked girls since I was young even till now. My crushes have mainly been girls and never really boys. I used to get turned on a lot by boys but still mainly liked girls. I have been exposed to gay porn at an early age, but never wanked to it. I get turned on by girls, I have been rock hard turned on by girls when I masturbate to porn. I used to be turned on by boys but it slowly stopped as I have gotten older. I was never rock hard about boys, only once. If I see things of boys that used to turn me I don't get turned on like that. Most times its a tiny erection and sometimes not at all. Then I started to get more turned on by girls. On top of this, when I masturbate to straight porn, I masturbate about the girl but my attention turns to the man and I will stare at both. So I decided to masturbate about a guy, but the erection was kinda slow and it wasn't any different, I didn't really feel anything. The erection was average, nearly like my main erections to girls. I was still thinking about girls on top of this. If I see a random boy or man, my mind makes me think I find them attractive but I don't. I get this weird feelings. I recently had a dream about my college friend being topless and trying to get sexual, but it didn't turn me on in anyway. If I see a pretty girl, I notice it and I think about them for days, but nowadays it may not always be sexual, for example I currently like this girl and I think about her but its not sexual most times. I had a dream that I was coming out to a friend as mostly straight, so I have decides to embrace this for now, but the feelings I get are weird. One minute I'm thinking about a girl, my heart beating fast crushing about her, next minute my mind us making me think I find this guy appealing and most of them are strangers or someone that I have known for years that I have never liked. I don't have anything against gay people, but I know I am straight. I have experimented myself with masturbation gotten turned on by girls, tested myself and not really getting turned on by guys, or only a little bit sometimes but still getting these feelings. I have been told by an online therapist that I watch too much porn for my age, I have been told that it could be the fact that I envy other boy's image, I have been told by another therapist that I'm straight or bi. I really feel like going to a physic and asking what sexuality they think I am. Tbh before, boys in my year used to think I was gay because of my voice but I wasn't even gay. Even after all this, I am still desperate for a girlfriend.
(edited 6 years ago)

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