Hi everyone, so long story short. Had a bit of a traumatising childhood started smoking marijuana at like 17 because the thoughts of what happened when I was abused really started to effect me and I couldn’t tell anyone what had happened. (Still haven’t- only a doctor).
I’m being treated for PTSD but I also have social anxiety and GAD. I’ve dropped out of uni 3 years in a row now due to social anxiety.
I don’t take any type of medication or anything as just don’t like them. I’ve been on a waiting list for CBT for 9 weeks now. I was originally told it would be 11 weeks but I rang last week and was told it will be minimum of 18 weeks. (Not their fault they are busy).
Anyway, 3 weeks ago I stopped smoking weed and cigarettes. And it honestly been the worst 3 weeks of my life. Severe high levels of anxiety and can’t control my thoughts at all. It just constant. Like it’s scary I feel like a completely different person like I’m actually mental in the head. The anxiety this last 3 weeks has been what you call health anxiety where I’m thinking I’m going to suddenly drop dead any minute. (Fear of blood clot) so I’ve literally been running my left hand through my hair pretty constantly for the last 3 weeks. I can’t stop doing it it’s so ****ed up. So last night I went out and got drunk which is the worst mistake of my life. I’m not sitting in my bed convinced I’m going to die. I really can’t wait another 9 weeks before I get someone to talk to and start CBT. I need real help now from a psychologist, there’s not one thing my GP can do for me. Worst is I’m from northern Ireland and I live in Liverpool so I feel as if the GP doesn’t take me seriously. I need real help now I can’t keep living like this. I physically can’t be by myself because I’m scared I’m going to die. And even when I’m with friends the conStant thoughts are still there.
I really want to go to a&e but I don’t want to be laughed at. What should I do? Please do
Someone help! There is literally no mental