friend came out as non binary Watch

moonpies
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..
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Darkiraa
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Your friend could have come out as a lot worse things...them coming out as non-binary affects you in literally no way whatsoever so maybe remove your head from your backside and support them in doing what they feel is best suited to them.
The only part that sounds risky is quitting her job, unless she is joining another paid career
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username3748656
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What gender are you?
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Anonymous #1
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Tell her parents subtly, where you don't break contact with her but they know about it, so they can take the situation in their hands.
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Langerhan
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You obviously don't actually want to support your friend or you'd be using the pronouns they've asked for. They/them pronouns are easy and already work in English. It's not like your friend's announced they're fairygender and will only accept fae/fir pronouns. This really shouldn't be that difficult for you to get your head around.
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StevetheIcecube
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You're not their friend if you're unwilling to support them and respect their pronouns. I understand why you think they're making a mistake careers wise, but if they have friends who support them and you refuse to, then why do you think you should have any influence on their opinion?

I would recommend talking to them about the job thing, but the gender thing is not something you're going to change. Respect them first, and then talk to them about why they want to quit their job, how they're going to support themselves, etc. Telling them they're delusional because of their gender isn't going to do your friendship any favours. They have trusted you with the information that they're trans - are you really going to let them down just because you don't believe in nonbinary genders? If so, maybe think about whether you like or respect them at all.

Also, if you're struggling to understand nonbinary gender identities, try looking some stuff up online! Understanding is the first step to acceptance and it might make it a little easier for you.
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Jadely98
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(Original post by moonpies)
My friend recently "came out" as non binary. Although I want to support my friend, I feel like as a friend I have a duty to inform her I think she is delusional. She has got a new group of online friends and suddenly wants to be called they/them and also have a gender neutral name. Her online group of friends are militant feminists and vegans - i cant help but think this will do her damage in the long run as she is saying she is quitting her job in order to become a full time activist. I wish I was trolling but unfortunately not. Please give any advice ...
Ordinarily, you'd expect someone to say 'you need to support your friend no matter what!' But I get you. It's hard to be friends with someone who suddenly changes, who starts thinking all these different things they never did before. They are a new person and it's like you never even met them. I'm afraid to say that some people get dragged down this hole of being easily impressionable but if your friend feels soooo strongly that this is who they are, then they'll never change. To you it's a phase, to them it's not. Like, I don't want to judge anyone who may come here and comment to defend non-binary people. You know? I don't necessarily agree that you can be both genders...

It's difficult. I think you're going to slowly drift apart because of the new changes. I think you need to asses the situation. I understand you don't wanna lose a friendship but what friendship will there be now with all these changes?

My fiance has a friend who recently came out as non-binary. My fiance had not talked to him for about a year and my fiance was reaching out to reconcile after a bad and stupid fall out. They missed each other. His old friend started asking for the specified pronouns and was just completely different and in the end my partner just had nothing in common and didn't try to befriend his old friend again because he didn't agree with their views and knew he couldn't live a lie pretending he could accept it.

I think a lot of young people are just jumping on the bandwagon for attention. Some people are genuine about it and some people are just crazy.

Asses your future friendship. You may just have to have a chat with them about how you feel. You shouldn't be dishonest to your friends.

Good luck x
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Astana
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(Original post by Langerhan)
You obviously don't actually want to support your friend or you'd be using the pronouns they've asked for. They/them pronouns are easy and already work in English. It's not like your friend's announced they're fairygender and will only accept fae/fir pronouns. This really shouldn't be that difficult for you to get your head around.
There's more than one person???? Is non-binary like multiple personality disorder
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DrawTheLine
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I'd definitely talk to them about their career move, because unless they have a good income coming from being an activist, they're likely to land themselves in big trouble.

With the gender thing, you can't do anything. Try and be respectful. You're in the habit of using their old name and pronouns, so like for any normal person, you will slip up occasionally and call them "her" or by their original name, however it just takes time to get used to it. Don't be rude to your friend just because you disagree with it, just be civil and remain friendly.
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Langerhan
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(Original post by Astana)
There's more than one person???? Is non-binary like multiple personality disorder
Don't be silly and work on your reading comprehension.
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HettiBetti
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(Original post by moonpies)
..
What does non-binary mean???
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Astana
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(Original post by Langerhan)
Don't be silly and work on your reading comprehension.
This isn't being silly. I'm not English (recently moved here) and to me they=more than one and when I seee only one I get so confused!!!!! Where is rest of you?? Come out where you're hiding places
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Darkiraa
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(Original post by Astana)
This isn't being silly. I'm not English (recently moved here) and to me they=more than one and when I seee only one I get so confused!!!!! Where is rest of you?? Come out where you're hiding places
Non-binary just means you do not identify as male or female - so you feel like you are inbetween or that male or female genders do not suit how you feel inside so you choose neither of them
So instead of calling someone he or she, you call them 'they' as it is gender neutral
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Darkiraa
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(Original post by Astana)
So very freaky people, we call those 'shape-shifter'
Haha.. I think the language barrier is too strong for this one to understand.
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AngryJellyfish
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(Original post by moonpies)
..
:nodots:
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Darkiraa
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(Original post by Astana)
Excuse me, Madam, you now shape-shifter? Need protection and medicine, or burning
I'm straight and cisgender I just understand that sometimes a label doesn't fit everyone! Pretty easy concept to grasp.
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Astana
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(Original post by Darkiraa)
I'm straight and cisgender I just understand that sometimes a label doesn't fit everyone! Pretty easy concept to grasp.
I don't what you are - alien?
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ChickenMadness
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lol.

She must not get a lot of attention from her parents
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Darkiraa
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(Original post by Astana)
I don't what you are - alien?
Your english genuinely makes it too difficult to have a conversation with you
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hannah00
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I identify as a millionaire
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