Anyone else feel like they just can't seem to meet anyone?
Good evening
So, before you all tell me that I am young, have plenty of time, hear my story please.
I am a 22 year old gay male, from England. I came out when I was 18. I have been dating for four years. I have been pretty open about my sexuality since I was 18.
I am coming to the end of my time at University. University was the time I thought most people manage to meet a partner. I am coming to the end of my 4 years, and this also includes living abroad in Europe for a year.
It sounds sad, negative, and self degrading, but maybe I was just never meant to meet anyone. They say someone is out there for everyone, but I can't help but question the validity of this statement.
I get told constantly, that I am good looking, cute, attractive, by girls and guys. I accept I am also not a supermodel either, but point aside, I don't think my looks are really that relevant.
I have been on endless dates. It never goes anywhere. Either they are not interested, or it doesn't go anywhere. Or they are hung up on their ex. Recently, I seem to be attracting a LOT of guys who are not over their ex's, still in love with them. Infact, it has been the case with every guy I met the past year. They might be interested for a short lived time, but realise they are in love with their ex, and then go back to them. Or a guy will be very persistent with me for sex, and when I finally give in, I get the cold shoulder.
I understand a few rejections every now and then is an inevitable part of the dating world but when you simply cannot seem to get past a few dates with a guy, and a guy never feels any sort of connection to you, or develops any feelings, you begin to wonder, what is wrong with me. Clearly something is missing. I just know that I will turn 23, then 25 with the same issues that I have before. I feel that I am always going to attract guys who only want me for sex, or not over their ex's. These guys who want me for sex however, will often then 6 months down the line commit to someone else.
And before you all throw the line 'stop looking, it will find you'. That is what I have been doing, but to no avail.
I just don't see myself ever finding a solution if its been a problem as long as it has. Maybe I just wasn't meant to find anyone, is the sad, but unfortunate reality of myself.
Does anyone else feel like this?
So, before you all tell me that I am young, have plenty of time, hear my story please.
I am a 22 year old gay male, from England. I came out when I was 18. I have been dating for four years. I have been pretty open about my sexuality since I was 18.
I am coming to the end of my time at University. University was the time I thought most people manage to meet a partner. I am coming to the end of my 4 years, and this also includes living abroad in Europe for a year.
It sounds sad, negative, and self degrading, but maybe I was just never meant to meet anyone. They say someone is out there for everyone, but I can't help but question the validity of this statement.
I get told constantly, that I am good looking, cute, attractive, by girls and guys. I accept I am also not a supermodel either, but point aside, I don't think my looks are really that relevant.
I have been on endless dates. It never goes anywhere. Either they are not interested, or it doesn't go anywhere. Or they are hung up on their ex. Recently, I seem to be attracting a LOT of guys who are not over their ex's, still in love with them. Infact, it has been the case with every guy I met the past year. They might be interested for a short lived time, but realise they are in love with their ex, and then go back to them. Or a guy will be very persistent with me for sex, and when I finally give in, I get the cold shoulder.
I understand a few rejections every now and then is an inevitable part of the dating world but when you simply cannot seem to get past a few dates with a guy, and a guy never feels any sort of connection to you, or develops any feelings, you begin to wonder, what is wrong with me. Clearly something is missing. I just know that I will turn 23, then 25 with the same issues that I have before. I feel that I am always going to attract guys who only want me for sex, or not over their ex's. These guys who want me for sex however, will often then 6 months down the line commit to someone else.
And before you all throw the line 'stop looking, it will find you'. That is what I have been doing, but to no avail.
I just don't see myself ever finding a solution if its been a problem as long as it has. Maybe I just wasn't meant to find anyone, is the sad, but unfortunate reality of myself.
Does anyone else feel like this?
Please no trolls!
Original post by Anonymous
I just know that I will turn 23, then 25
Skipping a year? Perhaps other men do not wish to commit to a time traveller.
Original post by Anonymous
Please no trolls!
Oh okay... uh...this point is going to be massive then hooray
Original post by Anonymous
Good evening
So, before you all tell me that I am young, have plenty of time, hear my story please.
I am a 22 year old gay male, from England. I came out when I was 18. I have been dating for four years. I have been pretty open about my sexuality since I was 18.
So, before you all tell me that I am young, have plenty of time, hear my story please.
I am a 22 year old gay male, from England. I came out when I was 18. I have been dating for four years. I have been pretty open about my sexuality since I was 18.
bUt yOu ArE sTiLl yOunG. If you've only been open about it since 18, then that's not exactly much practice before you shunted yourself into dat dating life.
University was the time I thought most people manage to meet a partner. I am coming to the end of my 4 years, and this also includes living abroad in Europe for a year.
I mean I'm only a first year but throughout the year more relationships have ended than started. If you've ended up sort of locked in to a particular social group or two that makes it difficult to meet people through friends of friends and such, which tends to be the most successful method for quite a number of people. Time in Europe means you spend time in a foreign culture where it's more difficult to dig up people you can speak to properly, unless you're more or less bilingual.
It sounds sad, negative, and self degrading, but maybe I was just never meant to meet anyone. They say someone is out there for everyone, but I can't help but question the validity of this statement.
Fate is bs, you're not meant to do anything positive or negative. Anyhoo, I'd argue that there's actually multiple people that would work well with oneself. Main issue is A.) Digging them up and B.) actually successfully getting the wheels in motion.
Original post by Anonymous
I understand a few rejections every now and then is an inevitable part of the dating world but when you simply cannot seem to get past a few dates with a guy, and a guy never feels any sort of connection to you, or develops any feelings, you begin to wonder, what is wrong with me. Clearly something is missing. I just know that I will turn 23, then 25 with the same issues that I have before. I feel that I am always going to attract guys who only want me for sex, or not over their ex's. These guys who want me for sex however, will often then 6 months down the line commit to someone else.
Naturally many rejections will make you feel a bit insecure. But if you can't actually pinpoint any particular trait of yours that will likely be putting the guys off, then the most likely outcome is that your insecurity is irrational. If it's been going badly recently then taking a break from it to focus on other things for a bit is probably not a bad idea, even if you don't subscribe to the 'stop looking, it will find you' methodology. Probably not a good idea to go out for a date feeling already pessimistic, right?
[QUOTE="Anonymous;76963914"]I just don't see myself ever finding a solution if its been a problem as long as it has. Maybe I just wasn't meant to find anyone, is the sad, but unfortunate reality of myself.
/QUOTE]
It's not a 'problem to be solved' as such. In trying to get a relationship going, what you're doing is probably fine but you've just hit the wrong people.
TL;DR: Calm down a bit, you're not cursed by the universe to never find anybody.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Normal homesickness or something to worry about?
- Lonely during summer
- does anyone else struggle with showing affection in relationships
- Undergraduate Cambridge Offer Holders (2022 Entry)
- University Hall Cardiff accommodation
- I'm fussy about who i sleep with?
- Friendships with ex-teachers
- Oxford Biology offer holders 2024
- How to know when you are ready to move on?
- Can my friend do my UCAS reference?
- Does anyone else feel a depressed feeling after GCSEs?
- University of Sheffield A101 2021 Entry
- lonely at uni
- I’m neurodivergent can i ever be normal?
- Uni struggles
- I have no friends at uni
- Anthropology applicants chat 2023
- feel humiliated in labs
- How to meet someone romantically on social media?
- Confused about my sexuality after break-up
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
