I struggling looking people in the eye when I'm talking to them
Noticed this recently, I really don't like looking people in the eye when I am talking to people (Even my parents at times), Does anyone have any idea why this could be? or how I can teach myself to stop looking away when someone is talking to me?
I'm pretty sure this is totally common, if you are a shy person its definitely normal .
I wouldn't say low esteem as such, my self-esteem certainly isn't sky high though.
Do you feel nervous? And how long has this been going on for?
Same here, I suspect it's part of my (admittedly self diagnosed) social anxiety
Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx
Do you feel nervous? And how long has this been going on for?
I have suffered from anxiety in the past, but I'm not really sure how long this has been going on for as I've only just noticed it.
You don't have to look them in the eye necessarily when you are speaking. Only when they are speaking, to show interest. Don't be awkward and nod or say 'hmm okay' when you agree with what they are saying.
Original post by Anonymous
Same here, I suspect it's part of my (admittedly self diagnosed) social anxiety
Ditto.
Omg me too. Do you find it really awkward to look them in the eye? If I look someone in the eye then it gets ‘intense’ and there’s a ‘connection’ even though I know there isn’t some secret romantic spark or whatever. It’s just me over reacting but yes it is really annoying. Especially when you look at them for a second and realise that they have been looking you in the eye the whole time.....
If you find a solution tell me plssss
If you find a solution tell me plssss
^^^but I have anxiety and social anxiety which is why I have this problem I guess....maybe it’s the same for you?
I think in conversations people naturally make eye-contact for about 60% of the time, so looking away sometimes is fine. I sometimes get it where I start thinking way too hard about how much eye-contact I'm making, but if that happens I take a few deep breaths and try to really immerse myself in what they're saying. You could also try looking at the bridge of their nose in-between their eyes, as that'll come across like you're making normal eye-contact.
Know what you're talking about, think what you say before you say it... then say it with confidence. Rest falls into place by itself usually. Works for me.
Original post by Anonymous
Noticed this recently, I really don't like looking people in the eye when I am talking to people (Even my parents at times), Does anyone have any idea why this could be? or how I can teach myself to stop looking away when someone is talking to me?
Practice. As someone said above, get a friend to do it with you, for as long as possible. Effectively a staring contest.
I used to be like this. I know some people especially of different cultures don't like eye contact especially between different sexes. And of course I've had the odd person say to me "what you looking at," and the like. So I guess that built up over time where it made me anxious of meeting somebody else's gaze. Now, I'd say I quite enjoy having a bit of fun and putting other people off by staring people right down, mainly because I don't give a damn about others anymore. Although part of my feedback for an unsuccessful interview from last week was that they would've expected someone who'd claimed to have tutored for three years to be able to make eye contact. Given that in my previous interview that was one of the positives, I found it a bit weird. I guess I was concentrating a lot more on what I was going to say this time, which is hard to do when you're looking into somebody's eyes as your speech processing is improved from neither lip-reading nor listening.
Original post by RVNmax
Practice. As someone said above, get a friend to do it with you, for as long as possible. Effectively a staring contest.
Although part of my feedback for an unsuccessful interview from last week was that they would've expected someone who'd claimed to have tutored for three years to be able to make eye contact.
Although part of my feedback for an unsuccessful interview from last week was that they would've expected someone who'd claimed to have tutored for three years to be able to make eye contact.
I'd say you dodged a bullet with those passive aggressive *******s lol
Difficulty looking people in the eye is a form of social anxiety. You can try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for things like this.
Original post by Anonymous
Noticed this recently, I really don't like looking people in the eye when I am talking to people (Even my parents at times), Does anyone have any idea why this could be? or how I can teach myself to stop looking away when someone is talking to me?
I used to be like this a couple years ago. Just social interaction, talking to more people and in genera building up my confidence has helped a lot.
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