Anyone help me on this Neutral tones paragraph?

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Here a few example paragraphs I have written for the question:
Compare how feelings toward the ending of a relationship are presented in Neutral Tones and one other poem. Help would be really appreciated!

In Neutral Tones (NT) by Thomas Hardy, the ending of a relationship is seen as extremely bitter and negative, and you are left with a continuous cycle. Similarly to NT Lord Byron portrays negative and bitter feelings in When We Two Parted (WWTP), he also describes the ending of a relationship as a cycle.

Both Poets portray the ending of relationships as painful. In NT Thomas Hardy uses structure to show pain. The last line from each stanza is separated from the other three lines, this can present the narrators loneliness and how painful it is to be excluded however by having it separated it causes the reader to read slowly, this emphasises the narrators slow excruciating isolating pain they feel. Similarly, in WWTP Lord Byron portrays painful feelings from ending his relationship, this can be determined by the language he uses, Byron explains how his painful broken heart will “sever for years” the word “sever” suggests pain as it means to butcher off and completely sperate, the process of severing is usually fast as well this suggests that the ending of the relationship is causing extreme pain for Byron, pain is further exaggerated using time by both poets. Hardy slows the reader down to emphasise pain as slow pain is worse than quick pain, similarly Byron quantifies his pain in “years” which is a long period of time to be feeling pain, the use of plural further emphasises his painful feelings towards the end of the relationship.

Both poets are bitter towards the other person in the relationship, they both blame the other person for the end of the relationship. In NT Hardy directly blames her by addressing her repeatedly “your eyes” “your smile” he not once mentions himself, he thinks the end of the relationship is all due to her “The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing” Hardy portrays the woman extremely negatively, he firstly uses an oxymoron to emphasise her loss of feelings. He calls her “smile” “deadest” which is completely opposite to connotations of happiness and life that a “smile” brings, this can also show Thomas Hardy frustration with the woman as she is the one who is turning this relationship dead. Further emphasis of the woman being responsible for the relationships end is by Hardy’s use of superlatives, he doesn’t just call her smile dead he calls it the “deadest”, this creates emphasis because you cannot be deader than deadest, clearly highlighting just how much Hardy blames the other person in the relationship for it ending. Similarly, in WWTP Lord Byron is bitter towards the woman (Lady Frances) and blames her for the ending of the relationship. “Thy vows are all broken” Lady Francis was already married at the time of her affair with Byron so he firstly blames her for ending her “vows” with her husband at the time but he blames her for breaking the “vows” or promises he made to her, he uses the absolute of “all” to emphasise how ashamed and embarrassed she should be because not only did she break her marriage vows she also broke her promises to him, this tone suggest Byron is holding her accountable for the ending of the relationships.

(not finished)

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