Pls help i'm anxious about being a doctor

okay this has really been stressing me. I am in year 13 and hoping to take a gap year and apply for medicine 2019 BUT I am really confused whether i would have made the right decision.
here it goes...
I would absolutely love to help people ALL THE TIME. It is my happiness to see other people happy and i am extremely empathetic and i can sacrifice ANYTHING for the people that i know i can never repay (my parents for example). I am always looking for ways to make even strangers happy and i love seeing people confident and having a peace of mind ahhh i cant even describe it. Plus, i absolutely enjoy all sciences and I'm fascinated by the human body!
However, i don't know if i can manage the hours to put in because i have this problem whereby i want to ensure perfection when i know something is very important(like caring for human health AND spending time with loved ones because the little things keep us alive) and I do not know if i will be able to strike a balance,because i would like to spend quality time with my family and i know med students say that you can find a balance , i hope i will too,but i already see myself overthinking about "are you really working to be the best doctor you possibly can"
Is medicine really for me? ALSO, I LOOOOVEEEEE WRITING and i cant even help but write even if im very busy. Is it possible for someone to become a doctor and a writer at the same time AND have a decent social life?
Im sorry if this was long and boring. I'd really appreciate some help. (ps i cant help but feel this way,i hope no one snaps at me)

Why not do nursing instead? You spend more time with the patient and the course is shorter as well.

Have you actually done any work experience yet?

It is possible to have a family and be a doctor, there are options for working less than full time or training in specialties which have more regular hours or shorter training.

You're probably going to have to elaborate on what you mean by a "decent social life" - this is obviously not the profession for people who want to go out multiple times a week after work. The rota, training requirements, postgraduate exams, distance between home and work, your friends' rotas etc just don't really allow for it. So if by "a decent social life" you mean continuing the first and second year uni lifestyle, that's not going to happen. But that's the case for most people who work and train in the professions, not just doctors.

I don't think there's anything to stop you writing - there are plenty of examples of doctors who have written creatively since ancient times. However, as above, you need to be practical about these things. If your goal is to be a full time doctor, famous author and to have a great family and social life, then I would suggest that your ambitions are not very achievable. If you want to write for pleasure or get involved in medical writing (research, journal articles, textbooks and so on) then I think that's achievable, particularly the higher up you go in medical training.

Finally, I think it's important to have a realistic idea about what medicine is and what it isn't, and what being a doctor allows you to do and what it doesn't allow you to do. You're clearly an enthusiastic and idealistic person, and this is a good thing, but medicine is not about making people happy (irrespective of how much personal sacrifice you make) and the amount of people who come to you and leave you very much not at peace with themselves is really quite significant. As a doctor you don't really have as much power or influence as you might think to try and "help people all the time". This is because a lot of healthcare is bureaucratic, centralised, industrial and rather impersonal and a lot of illness is not "fixable" anyway - and this is really out of the hands of doctors or the medical profession. I think the NHS is undoubtedly an amazing achievement and the vast majority of people who work for it are looking to make a positive difference, but the reality of the job and the reality of treating human illness and deprivation is really very different to what you might think. As I say, a lot of it is far more out of your hands than you might realise, no matter how empathetic or self-sacrificial you may be, so tying your happiness to the happiness of the people you meet at work is not a recipe for a happy doctor. Getting a warm fuzzy feeling is not something that just constantly happens to you when you're a doctor. I hope that makes sense.