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gambling addiction

Please dont de anon me.

I'm 19 now and about 3 years ago I started playing poker online, just for fun at first but then that wasnt good enough and I started to play for real money.

So I lost about £2000 as I had a regular income from my job. My boyfriend knew that I played, but he thought it was just occasionally when in reality I played everyday for hours on end.

About this time last year he found out the extent of the problem and obviously got angry, particularly since I had used his card on occasion ( when i didnt have my own chip & pin). I know that this was a terrible thing to do but I jsut couldnt stop myself, in my head I was always gonna need 1 more deposit in order to make up my losses.

it was because of this that I stopped for a while and gradually the urge to gamble disappeared, but then in december I had a relapse whilst at uni. In total I lost about £1000 maybe more on poker and blackjack bringing my total to maybe £3000 but probably more.

I maxxed out my student overdraft and began using my current account one, I was just really struggling with surviving at uni and I stopped gambling again, I only really had urges for about a week then they died down. But the other day I was so bored in my room and I did it again. It was only £50 but I feel awful as I'd gone about a month without gambling anything.

I feel so ashamed and I dont want to tell my boyfriend. My sister knows we dont really talk about it and she thinks I've only lost about £100 as I always brush it off as a joke when it gets brought up.

I'm really scared that I'm gonna go back into the routine I had before and I just wanted to kind of get things of my chest on here as I often find typing out my problems is cathartic for me.

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No-one can say something to you that is magically going to make everything clear in your head. Be clear with yourself getting over this addiction will have to come from within you - yes you others can support you but ultimately you have to find the strength from within yourself and the strength offered to you by others to get better. It will take time and you have already seen that on the way to overcoming an addiction there will be hiccups / events that make you want to give up all your efforts. But when these events happen you just need to keep on fighting - looking forward to a future where you can feel happy without the need to gamble away all yours and others money.

Sorry I am rambling - what I basically saying is don't get disheartened - slip ups happen - all you can do is try and increase the time between them until they have dissapeared completly.
Before I started writing this I saw that someone had posted the phone number for gamblers anonymous - I really suggest that you give them a ring - they have so much experience in situations like this and there advice will be 1000 times better than that any of us can give you - and most of all they will be able to find the best method for you to work on getting over this.

Once again I say don't get disheartened and good luck
Reply 3
thanks, I joined the the forum at gamcare and talking to other people who have gone the same thing is really encouraging. When I read their stories and see how much they've lost it makes me realise I don't want to get into as big a mess as they are.
I went to Leicester Square last week with £2000, I lost £700, the casino was going to close, so it was the last spin of the day, I decided to put £1300 on black and guess what .......................


I WON £2600 :biggrin: sry thought some people may like to know
Reply 5
im a little worried im going down the same road but at a very early stage, just started playing online which my parents frowned upon but now i played for cash online for the first time today. i own but even so im worried for my self that i cant stop
Reply 6
Federer Rulz
I went to Leicester Square last week with £2000, I lost £700, the casino was going to close, so it was the last spin of the day, I decided to put £1300 on black and guess what .......................


I WON £2600 :biggrin: sry thought some people may like to know


Considering that most casinos have a maximum limit of £200/300 per hand for blackjack, unless you split and doubled a few times in one hand... :eek:
spin: therefore, roulette
black: therefore, roulette

why are you on about blackjack dude?
Fatb
im a little worried im going down the same road but at a very early stage, just started playing online which my parents frowned upon but now i played for cash online for the first time today. i own but even so im worried for my self that i cant stop


quit now, playing online is worse than in actual casinos in my opinion, simply because its so easy and convenient to start playing- unless of course you live near a casino
Reply 9
Poker isn't gambling (in the long run).
Reply 10
Robob
Poker isn't gambling (in the long run).

It's not really about how long you play though - it's more about whether you pick up any actual skill with increased playing time. If someone is consistently losing, something obviously isn't sinking in, and it's a problem that they keep playing like that.

The luck element of the game does place it near gambling, but no moreso than the stock market, really.
Reply 11
Not sure posting your gambling success stories is going to be of much help to the OP. If that happened, it's an unlikely stroke of luck, and a far more likely outcome would have been leaving with nothing. o_O I can't imagine having that much money just to play with.

OP, if your boyfriend is the supportive type (you've been with him a while, right?) you should tell him. He can help you through it. As can the helpline people/website. And remember you have ultimate veto power over what you do online - you won't fall back into old habits if you tell yourself firmly that you're not going to. And if boyfriend knows, there is the added incentive not to disappoint him.
Anonymous
Please dont de anon me.

I'm 19 now and about 3 years ago I started playing poker online, just for fun at first but then that wasnt good enough and I started to play for real money.

So I lost about £2000 as I had a regular income from my job.


http://forums.cardplayer.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=24604

ftw!

By the way, how did you get away with using someone elses bank card? Most card rooms don't allow this.....I got an email from one site saying in effect " You can do this on this occasion, but not again!"

Oh yeah of course, don't take from others to gamble.

Good luck with your troubles :smile:
Reply 13
I never had any problems using his card.

And also it wasnt that I was completely crap at poker, I could win money but I just couldnt stop until it was all gone again. The big thing over xmas was blackjack anyway.
Reply 14
I know it was bad, I always paid him back but I used it without asking. He is supportive and everything but im too ashamed/scared to tell him.
Go to a GA meeting...you need to have real support from other addicts like yourself....its all well and good speaking to people on forums but it will be nowhere as useful as actually meeting them and gaining a real support group. They will all have developed coping strategies....If you only admit it online- it is that one step removed from reality. You should come out of the Gamblers closet, as it were, with your close friends and family, they will offer emotional support and other help if need be. Once you do that, you can move forward to the next stages of 'getting clean', its a process.
Reply 16
Federer Rulz
I went to Leicester Square last week with £2000, I lost £700, the casino was going to close, so it was the last spin of the day, I decided to put £1300 on black and guess what .......................


I WON £2600 :biggrin: sry thought some people may like to know


Wow. You're a ****ing moron.
my ex bf had a gambling problem a few years ago, he went to gamblers anonymous and they really helped him. Good luck!
Reply 18
Ink
It's not really about how long you play though - it's more about whether you pick up any actual skill with increased playing time. If someone is consistently losing, something obviously isn't sinking in, and it's a problem that they keep playing like that.

The luck element of the game does place it near gambling, but no moreso than the stock market, really.


Well you've slightly missed my point, although to be fair I didn't even explain it :p:

I meant that in the long run, the top quarter or so of all the players will win, everyone else will lose or stay roughly even.

The OP is clearly a bad player, but it's not gambling, in the long run she will lose, it's not really a gamble.

In the long run, poker is 100% skill.
I have bet only once playing online poker. I deposited the minimum amount allowed which I think was 20 pounds, and inevitably I lost it over time. Similar it is ironic that when I was not playing with real money that mostly I won, which probably equates to a money game verses 'bots', which would explain why it is difficult to win.