Please dont de anon me.
I'm 19 now and about 3 years ago I started playing poker online, just for fun at first but then that wasnt good enough and I started to play for real money.
So I lost about £2000 as I had a regular income from my job. My boyfriend knew that I played, but he thought it was just occasionally when in reality I played everyday for hours on end.
About this time last year he found out the extent of the problem and obviously got angry, particularly since I had used his card on occasion ( when i didnt have my own chip & pin). I know that this was a terrible thing to do but I jsut couldnt stop myself, in my head I was always gonna need 1 more deposit in order to make up my losses.
it was because of this that I stopped for a while and gradually the urge to gamble disappeared, but then in december I had a relapse whilst at uni. In total I lost about £1000 maybe more on poker and blackjack bringing my total to maybe £3000 but probably more.
I maxxed out my student overdraft and began using my current account one, I was just really struggling with surviving at uni and I stopped gambling again, I only really had urges for about a week then they died down. But the other day I was so bored in my room and I did it again. It was only £50 but I feel awful as I'd gone about a month without gambling anything.
I feel so ashamed and I dont want to tell my boyfriend. My sister knows we dont really talk about it and she thinks I've only lost about £100 as I always brush it off as a joke when it gets brought up.
I'm really scared that I'm gonna go back into the routine I had before and I just wanted to kind of get things of my chest on here as I often find typing out my problems is cathartic for me.