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My Girlfriend is Asexual, I'm Not though

I'm 16 and have been with my girlfriend for 3 months now. She is Asexual and I'm not. I have no problem with her being asexual, and I love her the way she is and wouldn't change anything about her or the relationship. I am extremely happy with the way things are with her. But recently I have been having a few issues;
- I obviously being a 16-year-old boy want to do things with her, sex, oral etc, however, she obviously won't and can't because of her being asexual.
-I used to handle this by masturbating, but recently I've been physically incapable of being sexually attracted to anyone or any porn or anything other than her.
-This loophole is causing me to feel uneasy and making my mental health rubbish. I want to talk to her and I think I will soon but I wanted advice first.
- I want to talk to her but she can be very insecure and I don't want her to think I'm unhappy with the relationship or that I no longer want to be with her because of it, which isn't true AT ALL.

If anyone can give and little pieces of advice that would be great because of I'm really unsure what to do.

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Keep beating your meat my man.

Jk.

Uh. I have zero ideas other than just try talking to her or something.
(edited 5 years ago)
Talking to her and being honest is your best bet really. Sex can play a big part in relationships for a whole host of reasons and issues around it can lead to breakups in the long run, I mean the prospect of never having sex would be too much for some.
Talking openly is important and whilst she may be insecure, you have the right to express how you feel and despite saying you’re not unhappy with the relationship, there is obviously an aspect you’re unhappy with and you should be able to express this. Personally I think openly discussing issues with a partner is really important and I find doing that with mine helps our relationship. (We’ve had sexual issues and discussing them openly was the best thing we could have done).
TBH if one of you is asexual and the other has a healthy sex drive it's not likely to work out. Are you happy to never have sex? Perhaps you would be better off as friends?
Original post by doodle_333
TBH if one of you is asexual and the other has a healthy sex drive it's not likely to work out. Are you happy to never have sex? Perhaps you would be better off as friends?


I'm not sure that's a helpful thing to point out.

@ anon 1 if you really love her, and she really loves you, then you should hopefully find a way around it, maybe she'd be willing to do something with you (not guaranteed, but I have asexual friends that have sexual interactions with their partner so that their partner can feel satisfied both romantically and sexually within their relationship) another option would be maybe trying something new to keep yourself satisfied? I mean shark porn worked for Chandler Bing, right? But, yeah, try and find something new, or find a solution with your girlfriend by talking it through with her!
Reply 5
Original post by doodle_333
TBH if one of you is asexual and the other has a healthy sex drive it's not likely to work out. Are you happy to never have sex? Perhaps you would be better off as friends?


Unfortunately true.

I'm Asexual so I don't think I could ever get into a relationship with a guy or woman if they had a sex drive.

You'll need to talk it through with her OP, it's the only option.
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 6
You can talk to her? Explain if she's not going to make an effort even for you then ask for an open relationship as a horny lad needs to pound some punani
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 16 and have been with my girlfriend for 3 months now. She is Asexual and I'm not. I have no problem with her being asexual, and I love her the way she is and wouldn't change anything about her or the relationship. I am extremely happy with the way things are with her. But recently I have been having a few issues;
- I obviously being a 16-year-old boy want to do things with her, sex, oral etc, however, she obviously won't and can't because of her being asexual.
-I used to handle this by masturbating, but recently I've been physically incapable of being sexually attracted to anyone or any porn or anything other than her.
-This loophole is causing me to feel uneasy and making my mental health rubbish. I want to talk to her and I think I will soon but I wanted advice first.
- I want to talk to her but she can be very insecure and I don't want her to think I'm unhappy with the relationship or that I no longer want to be with her because of it, which isn't true AT ALL.

If anyone can give and little pieces of advice that would be great because of I'm really unsure what to do.


Options:
a)new girlfriend
b)deal with it
c) be gay
Original post by Regina Mills
Options:
a)new girlfriend
b)deal with it
c) be gay


You can't choose to be gay 😂
But otherwise yep ^^
Original post by bluemuffin
You can't choose to be gay 😂
But otherwise yep ^^


Ooo I am gay!!! So would you actually consider being gay!!! Try it!!! Its nice and I am in year11!!!
Original post by Regina Mills
Ooo I am gay!!! So would you actually consider being gay!!! Try it!!! Its nice and I am in year11!!!


I already am (bi) 😂 but I’m a girl lmao
Original post by bluemuffin
I already am (bi) 😂 but I’m a girl lmao


Ooo you go Girl...what do you prefer men or woman???
Original post by Regina Mills
Ooo you go Girl...what do you prefer men or woman???


I’m not gonna pick one I like both for different reasons
Original post by bluemuffin
I’m not gonna pick one I like both for different reasons


Ooo fiesty...ok!!!
it wouldn't bother me personally, since i'd wait until marriage. the problem with her being asexual is that she theoretically has no interest in sex, and she never will, even after marriage. has she told you she's asexual to your face? i mean, i personally don't believe such a thing exists, but a lot of people are saying they're asexual these days. must be a fad or something.

i think you know what your choice is, but i'd talk to her first before doing anything rash. she may call you selfish or ignorant, but responsible sex is an important part of being a couple. it's that physical bond, you see.
No clue m8. Sounds painful af, good luck in managing this. I mean, it does not exactly advise, but every little helps.
You don't love her.
I don’t think a relationship with one asexual and one with a sex drive can really work out in the long term. It could either end in her feeling guilty and having sex, this making her uncomfortable, or you never have any sexual intimacy from her and be celibate, or have an open relationship so you can outsource sex.

There’s nothing wrong with either sexual preference, just that the two have different needs from a relationship and that makes them incompatible. All the relationship advice I seem to give on here is “dump them” but yeah... dump her.
Some asexuals still have sex. Some will have it, but aren't really interested in it. It has different connotations for everyone, so you'd be best talking to her about it.
Original post by Joel 96
it wouldn't bother me personally, since i'd wait until marriage. the problem with her being asexual is that she theoretically has no interest in sex, and she never will, even after marriage. has she told you she's asexual to your face? i mean, i personally don't believe such a thing exists, but a lot of people are saying they're asexual these days. must be a fad or something.

i think you know what your choice is, but i'd talk to her first before doing anything rash. she may call you selfish or ignorant, but responsible sex is an important part of being a couple. it's that physical bond, you see.


Ikr, most people who say this simply aren't telling the truth (probably think it makes them look cool/stand out or they haven't ever been attracted to anyone and naively conclude that they're asexual). If asexuality is a thing, it must be incredibly rare, a result of some syndrome or mutation, because sexuality is in every person's genetic makeup.