Why did I have obsessiveness crushes?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
When I was younger, when I developed a crush on a boy, I fell HARD. These crushes would last between 13 months and 3 years. This happened between the age of 12 and 17.

I would walk past the boys’ houses. (I only liked one boy at a time). I would religiously stalk their social media and that of their families and friends. I once made a fake Facebook account in an attempt to stalk the sister of one of the guys. I made big decisions about my future to be closer to or similar to the guys.

I have my theories of why I was so prone to these obsessions. I wasn’t happy in myself, I used the crushes as a distraction from my own difficult times, the crushes created the illusion of love that I couldn’t feel within myself.

I am 20 years old now and recently came out of a relationship. When I developed feelings for my boyfriend before we got together, yes I did think about him a lot and have a cheeky look at his social media, but it never progressed beyond that.

Any other theories? Anyone experienced anything similar.
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rnl
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#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
When I was younger, when I developed a crush on a boy, I fell HARD. These crushes would last between 13 months and 3 years. This happened between the age of 12 and 17.

I would walk past the boys’ houses. (I only liked one boy at a time). I would religiously stalk their social media and that of their families and friends. I once made a fake Facebook account in an attempt to stalk the sister of one of the guys. I made big decisions about my future to be closer to or similar to the guys.

I have my theories of why I was so prone to these obsessions. I wasn’t happy in myself, I used the crushes as a distraction from my own difficult times, the crushes created the illusion of love that I couldn’t feel within myself.

I am 20 years old now and recently came out of a relationship. When I developed feelings for my boyfriend before we got together, yes I did think about him a lot and have a cheeky look at his social media, but it never progressed beyond that.

Any other theories? Anyone experienced anything similar.
I’m 17 atm and am sort of the same. I don’t obsess hard over people- I’ll either genuinely take a bullet for them if it was me or them or I wont care at all. For me that’s just because 1. I’m a hopeless romantic aha 2. I’m a very intense person in that I have a real depth of feeling. That’s just me.

With obsession you may be right with insecurity. For me it definitely isn’t but they’re slightly different feelings and emotions. Or maybe you were scared of being alone? In love with the idea of love? Or maybe just raging hormones lol
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by rnl)
I’m 17 atm and am sort of the same. I don’t obsess hard over people- I’ll either genuinely take a bullet for them if it was me or them or I wont care at all. For me that’s just because 1. I’m a hopeless romantic aha 2. I’m a very intense person in that I have a real depth of feeling. That’s just me.

With obsession you may be right with insecurity. For me it definitely isn’t but they’re slightly different feelings and emotions. Or maybe you were scared of being alone? In love with the idea of love? Or maybe just raging hormones lol
Yeah, I definitely think intensity strongly comes into obsessions.

Being alone with my thoughts was scary to me so I guess I took up an activity that meant I was distracted. And yes I was also definitely in love with the idea of love; being a hormonal teenager didn’t make the issue any better lol.
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rnl
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, I definitely think intensity strongly comes into obsessions.

Being alone with my thoughts was scary to me so I guess I took up an activity that meant I was distracted. And yes I was also definitely in love with the idea of love; being a hormonal teenager didn’t make the issue any better lol.
It’s not a bad thing to be in love with the idea of love I don’t think. I am currently and I recognise that and as long as you don’t let it make you blind to people’s true colours then I say embrace it- it stops you from losing faith in love itself when things don’t end nicely.
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