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Girlfriend speaking to others at club.

So I’ve recently been clubbing with my gf (we’ve been dating for a year). But there’s been numerous times where I’ve just seen her speaking to random people. When I’ve confronted her about why she’s speaking to random men; who are clearly trying their luxk she says “I was swerving them and told them I had a bf”. But in my eyes it didn’t seem like that was the only convo.

For me if you’ve got a life partner, you shouldn’t be giving other horny men attention. It should be a quick “yeah wassup, blah blah blah, I have a man, cya”.

When I saw this happen as I was leaving the club to go smoking area I just though “F*** this; you can chat to your men and not bother with me”. I’m a protective person definitely but like, if the roles were switched it would be a different story.

My gf told me that she was swerving them and what not, but it just pisses me off, coz I feel like there was more to the situation but I’ll nevee know. I just expect my gf not to have any sort of long leading convo with others; just a simple wasup; I have a man, then bye”.

Am I being too overprotective ? Is going to club with your gf a good idea ?

Hate all this relationship bs😂

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Original post by MrSxcBurk
So I’ve recently been clubbing with my gf (we’ve been dating for a year). But there’s been numerous times where I’ve just seen her speaking to random people. When I’ve confronted her about why she’s speaking to random men; who are clearly trying their luxk she says “I was swerving them and told them I had a bf”. But in my eyes it didn’t seem like that was the only convo.

For me if you’ve got a life partner, you shouldn’t be giving other horny men attention. It should be a quick “yeah wassup, blah blah blah, I have a man, cya”.

When I saw this happen as I was leaving the club to go smoking area I just though “F*** this; you can chat to your men and not bother with me”. I’m a protective person definitely but like, if the roles were switched it would be a different story.

My gf told me that she was swerving them and what not, but it just pisses me off, coz I feel like there was more to the situation but I’ll nevee know. I just expect my gf not to have any sort of long leading convo with others; just a simple wasup; I have a man, then bye”.

Am I being too overprotective ? Is going to club with your gf a good idea ?

Hate all this relationship bs😂


She is your life partner after dating for a year? Does she know? Are you engaged or living together?

Maybe you sound a bit possessive and controlling. If you dont like it and have asked her to cut back, but she carries on then consider if you want to be with her. Most couples would trust and listen to each other. Up to you whether you think it is for you.
Thats what a club is for, meeting new people.
If you're so terrified your girlfriend is going to cheat on you that you flip out when they talk to another dude, you should dump her.

Because either you're right and she isn't trustworthy(And she might not be) or you're not in which case she deserves better than you. Either way, dump her.
Rule number one: do not go clubbing with your significant other. I don't advocate going clubbing at all of you're in a relationship but definitely definitely do not go with your partner.
Clubs are essentially places where single people try to get validation from strangers (girls mostly) or are hoping to get laid (boys mostly). If you're in a stable, happy relationship then you shouldn't been seeking either.

You appear to be pretty young so maybe you weren't aware and saw it as something fun to go clubbing. If you're serious about this girl, don't take her clubbing for goodness sake.
lmaoooo lots of people in relationships go clubbing with their SO it’s perfectly normal.

she was probably just being polite. you only saw the conversation from afar so how can you possibly know what went on? what something looks like to you and what it actually is can be quite different as your feelings can cloud what you see. if someone tries to talk to you you can’t just interrupt them and say “i have a man” and walk off lol. not least because it would be construed as rude but also because some people can be aggressive when they get rejected and you want to avoid unnecessary confrontation.

it’s not healthy to react this way just because you saw your gf talk to someone. just trust her because this overreaction will be very alienating.
"Am I being too overprotective ? Is going to club with your gf a good idea ?"

Going clubbing with your gf is fine. It's a fun night out. Better than staying in watching TV, or playing video games.

You are being far too controlling. Give her the green light to talk to whomever she pleases any time she wants.
Treat her as an equal, loved, respected adult human being. Set her free at all times. If she loves you she will keep coming back.
Be more secure in yourself. Stop all this insecure, paranoid "She's talking to a guy who's hitting on her, so she'll cheat on me / doesn't love me enough nonsense".
Put this spin on anyone hitting on your partner: it's reconfirmation that you are worthy enough to have an attractive and desirable gf. Treat it as a compliment and not as a threat. Of more concern would be if she didn't get hit on when out clubbing as that would mean that no one else wants her!

Overall, take a more mature attitude.
Original post by MrSxcBurk
So I’ve recently been clubbing with my gf (we’ve been dating for a year). But there’s been numerous times where I’ve just seen her speaking to random people. When I’ve confronted her about why she’s speaking to random men; who are clearly trying their luxk she says “I was swerving them and told them I had a bf”. But in my eyes it didn’t seem like that was the only convo.

For me if you’ve got a life partner, you shouldn’t be giving other horny men attention. It should be a quick “yeah wassup, blah blah blah, I have a man, cya”.

When I saw this happen as I was leaving the club to go smoking area I just though “F*** this; you can chat to your men and not bother with me”. I’m a protective person definitely but like, if the roles were switched it would be a different story.

My gf told me that she was swerving them and what not, but it just pisses me off, coz I feel like there was more to the situation but I’ll nevee know. I just expect my gf not to have any sort of long leading convo with others; just a simple wasup; I have a man, then bye”.

Am I being too overprotective ? Is going to club with your gf a good idea ?

Hate all this relationship bs😂


So you're saying your girlfriend should not be allowed to talk to other people just because she's in a relationship? That's extremely controlling and dangerous. Why do you not trust her? So what if she's talking to another man? It's perfectly normal to talk to other men and be friendly, and still remain faithful in a relationship.

You seem to have trust issues. Your girlfriend said it was nothing and she was telling them she wasn't available, yet you seem to think there's more to it. I suggest you re-evaluate your relationship and if you're ready to be in one considering after a year you don't trust her.

Do you expect her to go to a club and only talk to women / you? That's pretty disappointing, and something you need to look at for the future.
Reply 8
I've been in this situation before. Her going clubbing while being with you is a very bad sign.


Eventually she'll cheat as it happened to me.

Best to avoid.
You sound very controlling and possessive
Original post by MrSxcBurk
So I’ve recently been clubbing with my gf (we’ve been dating for a year). But there’s been numerous times where I’ve just seen her speaking to random people. When I’ve confronted her about why she’s speaking to random men; who are clearly trying their luxk she says “I was swerving them and told them I had a bf”. But in my eyes it didn’t seem like that was the only convo.

For me if you’ve got a life partner, you shouldn’t be giving other horny men attention. It should be a quick “yeah wassup, blah blah blah, I have a man, cya”.

When I saw this happen as I was leaving the club to go smoking area I just though “F*** this; you can chat to your men and not bother with me”. I’m a protective person definitely but like, if the roles were switched it would be a different story.

My gf told me that she was swerving them and what not, but it just pisses me off, coz I feel like there was more to the situation but I’ll nevee know. I just expect my gf not to have any sort of long leading convo with others; just a simple wasup; I have a man, then bye”.

Am I being too overprotective ? Is going to club with your gf a good idea ?

Hate all this relationship bs😂


You're in the wrong man. You obviously dont trust her as you are controlling - not 'protective.' She can speak to who she wants.
Original post by TheBBQ
I've been in this situation before. Her going clubbing while being with you is a very bad sign.


Eventually she'll cheat as it happened to me.

Best to avoid.
I've been in this situation too. The going clubbing part anyway. Never the jealous controlling bit. I have never been cheated on (AFAIK).

Going clubbing has always been a sign that they wanted a fun night out and not a sign that they were going to cheat.

Best for the OP to carry on his relationship with this outgoing, fun-loving, attractive young woman.
Reply 12
Original post by Jack22031994
You're in the wrong man. You obviously dont trust her as you are controlling - not 'protective.' She can speak to who she wants.




It's a tad disrespectful imo to be there flirting with other men whilst your bf is there [which seems to be what's happened]

I've had girls unsolicited come up to me and start flirting before [who have had bf's] ...one time the bf was even in the club at the time ..and she was feeling up my arms and chest like an octopus ...and only stopped things after I had kissed her on the cheek and had tried to go for the lips, then she brought up she had a bf and told me he was behind us ..and there was this short cuck standing there waiting for me to be finished.
Reply 13
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
I've been in this situation too. The going clubbing part anyway. Never the jealous controlling bit. I have never been cheated on (AFAIK).

Going clubbing has always been a sign that they wanted a fun night out and not a sign that they were going to cheat.

Best for the OP to carry on his relationship with this outgoing, fun-loving, attractive young woman.


Depends on the girl and if they can control themselves. If she can then there's no problem.

If she can't..
Original post by TheBBQ
Depends on the girl and if they can control themselves. If she can then there's no problem.

If she can't..
Yes indeed.

Although I'd also add that there's a whole group of young women who would cheat on certain types of boyfriends and wouldn't cheat on others. Which would really merit a whole new thread to discuss this topic.

From the information given in this thread it would appear that the OP's girlfriend may well be one of the more faithful types.
Maybe the OP has some more information that he'd like to share with us that would shed more light on this?
Maybe she just wanted to play fortnite with them so she was asking for their add
Reply 16
It’s not that I don’t trust her or think she’s going to do anything. It’s just like if you’re out on a night with me, I don’t expect you to be alone speaking to randoms; simply out of respect for me. I wouldn’t chatting to random girls, or let girls come around me to ask me this and that.

Maybe I was overreacting; but that’s just how I see things. She said she was swerving them and all and I believe her, but just a bit annoying.
Original post by MrSxcBurk
It’s not that I don’t trust her or think she’s going to do anything. It’s just like if you’re out on a night with me, I don’t expect you to be alone speaking to randoms; simply out of respect for me. I wouldn’t chatting to random girls, or let girls come around me to ask me this and that.

Maybe I was overreacting; but that’s just how I see things. She said she was swerving them and all and I believe her, but just a bit annoying.


That's a totally different thing. That's just really, really needy. Like... Really needy. If you're the type of dude who goes to a party and wants the person who brought you there to spend all their time entertaining you, you need to get out more, man. That's draining on the person you're dependent on.

I speak to people all the time. I like people. Most of my best conversations have been with people. My Mom was a person.
Don't insist on your girlfriend spending all her time entertaining you.

Unless you're going to say you don' mind if she talks to girls, in which case it -is- a trust issue and you seriously should dump her, because either she's untrustworthy or you're way... Way too controlling.
Original post by ANM775
It's a tad disrespectful imo to be there flirting with other men whilst your bf is there [which seems to be what's happened]

I've had girls unsolicited come up to me and start flirting before [who have had bf's] ...one time the bf was even in the club at the time ..and she was feeling up my arms and chest like an octopus ...and only stopped things after I had kissed her on the cheek and had tried to go for the lips, then she brought up she had a bf and told me he was behind us ..and there was this short cuck standing there waiting for me to be finished.


That's disgraceful. And some guys legit try to steal girlfriends from guys. I've been with loads of taken girls but I'd never hook up with her in front of the guy. Idgaf if he's a short cuck it's nothing to do with the threat of violence, I just realize that it'd probably be the most heartbreaking thing anyone could ever possibly experience in their life. Honestly people who try to do **** in front of guys they're in a relationship with are ****ing LOW. Srs.

I honestly get really, really angry by the way girls act in clubs sometimes. Like even when it's not directed at me. Like for instance some guy approaching her and she like rejects him then does the wide eyed "wtf" look to her friends. It makes me REALLY angry to see it.

I legit feel like saying something to them. Especially when they're ugly or fat girls acting like they're better than the guy when they should be thankful to even have a bald dwarf try to chat them up.

Some girl did it to one of my best mates last night which made me extremely angry but I was wasted I never react to things when drunk and on phenibut. I remember a dog legit attacking me biting and tearing around my jacket and I just stood there blankfaced feeling no sense of danger whatsoever. And some random guy grabbing my neck screaming and I was just not even registering the danger just standing there relaxed like nothing was happening. If I was sober and a girl had done that to my mate I probably would have said like "there's no need for that" at least, and then bury her if she starts getting verbal.

Honestly to girls who go to clubs stop acting like *****. Stop giving your friends looks when a guy tries to talk to you like you think you're hot ****. Legit hot girls usually don't do that it's often ugly or average girls, they do it to try and boost their ego. It's really disgraceful and I get angry every time I see it happen to a guy.
Totally agree with the comments about taking your girl to a club. A club in my opinion is not the atmosphere for you to take a girl that you're in a relationship with. These places are filled with dudes with one intention to talk to the hottest girl. Another thing to consider too is if your girl is attractive like it or not she's going to have guys hitting on her and talking to her when you're not in front of her and when you in front of her in some cases so it's inevitable you can't stop it. I wouldn't have reacted like that because it can come off as being very insecure. If you're a secure in your ability to attract and keep her and attract and keep other beautiful women aside from her her talking and chatting to other guys wouldn't bother you as much. Also girls will feel secure in knowing that they have the freedom in a relationship with you to be able to have a normal conversation with the opposite sex and not mean anything by it

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