My boyfriend loves me but his family dislike me. What should I do?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3+ years. My boyfriend is constantly fighting between me and his family because I like to spend time with him in his room, but his family want me and him to spend time with them. He is stuck because he tries to make us both happy but it doesn't work. I haven't really made an effort to talk to his parents or even create a bond with them because I'm more interested with spending time with my boyfriend because we only see each other twice a week. Who is in the right or wrong? I have always been a very quiet/introverted girl and his family are quite outgoing social people. What do you guys think I should do in this situation? He loves me a lot, but his family are making things harder for him because of me, and honestly, being put in this situation is making me depressed.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3+ years. My boyfriend is constantly fighting between me and his family because I like to spend time with him in his room, but his family want me and him to spend time with them. He is stuck because he tries to make us both happy but it doesn't work. I haven't really made an effort to talk to his parents or even create a bond with them because I'm more interested with spending time with my boyfriend because we only see each other twice a week. Who is in the right or wrong? I have always been a very quiet/introverted girl and his family are quite outgoing social people. What do you guys think I should do in this situation? He loves me a lot, but his family are making things harder for him because of me, and honestly, being put in this situation is making me depressed.
Stick it out. If he loves you then he’s worth fighting for. Try to show his family what makes you good. Don’t give up.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3+ years. My boyfriend is constantly fighting between me and his family because I like to spend time with him in his room, but his family want me and him to spend time with them. He is stuck because he tries to make us both happy but it doesn't work. I haven't really made an effort to talk to his parents or even create a bond with them because I'm more interested with spending time with my boyfriend because we only see each other twice a week. Who is in the right or wrong? I have always been a very quiet/introverted girl and his family are quite outgoing social people. What do you guys think I should do in this situation? He loves me a lot, but his family are making things harder for him because of me, and honestly, being put in this situation is making me depressed.
You should be lucky that you have found a boy who loves you with a family who are interested in getting to know you! Twice a week isn't all that rare. Make an effort to spend time with his family maybe once every fortnight? If you love him and see a future with him then having a good or at least some sort of relationship with his parents is vital. His family has not did anything wrong other than trying to make and effort to get to know the girl he loves. You should feel blessed not depressed. A lot of people do not have the same privilege as you. Just being honest.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3+ years. My boyfriend is constantly fighting between me and his family because I like to spend time with him in his room, but his family want me and him to spend time with them. He is stuck because he tries to make us both happy but it doesn't work. I haven't really made an effort to talk to his parents or even create a bond with them because I'm more interested with spending time with my boyfriend because we only see each other twice a week. Who is in the right or wrong? I have always been a very quiet/introverted girl and his family are quite outgoing social people. What do you guys think I should do in this situation? He loves me a lot, but his family are making things harder for him because of me, and honestly, being put in this situation is making me depressed.
Why haven't you made an effort with his family? They are important to him and they want to get to know you - that sounds very reasonable. I would struggle with someone who has ignored me for 3+ years in my own house!
Next time you go there try to get to know them and spend a bit of time with them before going off with your boyfriend. You don't need to spend the whole time with them, just make an effort to at least get along. Your boyfriend will appreciate it, and hopefully his family will understand you didn't mean to be rude and snubbing but are just shy.
His family are the most important people in his life, if you want to continue a long-term relationship with this guy you're going to have to make the effort to get to know them. It'll be uncomfortable at first, awkward, but over time it'll get easier and easier, conversation will flow more naturally and you'll begin to feel more comfortable around them.
I wouldn't be impressed if my son had a girlfriend for 3 years and she wasn't polite enough to get to know me or the rest of the family.
It's understandable that you want to spend time together with just the two of you but you can't act as though his family don't exist, that's not fair if they're inviting you into their home.
I wouldn't be impressed if my son had a girlfriend for 3 years and she wasn't polite enough to get to know me or the rest of the family.
It's understandable that you want to spend time together with just the two of you but you can't act as though his family don't exist, that's not fair if they're inviting you into their home.
(edited 6 years ago)
Twice a week isn't nothing and if you've been with him for over 3 years then you should be making more of an effort to become close with his family. It's probably down to you being nervous but if they see you're making an effort I'm sure they won't care. I'm sure after 3 years they already know but if your boyfriend just explains to them you're shy and to go easy on you I'm sure they will sympathise
I agree with everyone here, you should make the effort to get to know his family, especially if you see a future with him. They're important people in his life, and you should see that too and give them some time to get to know you too. I get you are shy but you'll eventually get more comfortable with them if you get to know them. I'm saying this out of experience, my brother and his girlfriend have been dating for more than a year and going onto 2 years, and I have never had a solid conversation with her and my mom has probably once or twice, but that's it, and she comes every weekend to our house. I personally make the effort to get to know my boyfriend's mom and his older siblings and their kids because I know they're very important people in his life. And I'm in a long distance relationship. I'm indifferent about my brother's gf since I don't know her and well if she's going to be my future in law, I can assume we won't be close since she hasn't opened her self to us. It is very important to do that, and that's why I'm explaining this, you don't want to be the in law who is distance from the family. Especially because they are people who mean a lot to him.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3+ years. My boyfriend is constantly fighting between me and his family because I like to spend time with him in his room, but his family want me and him to spend time with them. He is stuck because he tries to make us both happy but it doesn't work. I haven't really made an effort to talk to his parents or even create a bond with them because I'm more interested with spending time with my boyfriend because we only see each other twice a week. Who is in the right or wrong? I have always been a very quiet/introverted girl and his family are quite outgoing social people. What do you guys think I should do in this situation? He loves me a lot, but his family are making things harder for him because of me, and honestly, being put in this situation is making me depressed.
That is a tricky situation. However if you have been with him for 3 or more years you should probably be making effort with his family by now. Even if it is for 30 mins over dinner or for a drink? IF he means a lot to you then you probably owe it to him to do that.
I completely understand that time is precious because you don't see him that often but half an hour of your evening really isn't much and would probably solve any issues you thought were there.
Sometimes I HATE spending time with the in-laws but it makes my partner happy and he does the same for me
Original post by Anonymous
That is a tricky situation. However if you have been with him for 3 or more years you should probably be making effort with his family by now. Even if it is for 30 mins over dinner or for a drink? IF he means a lot to you then you probably owe it to him to do that.
I completely understand that time is precious because you don't see him that often but half an hour of your evening really isn't much and would probably solve any issues you thought were there.
Sometimes I HATE spending time with the in-laws but it makes my partner happy and he does the same for me
I completely understand that time is precious because you don't see him that often but half an hour of your evening really isn't much and would probably solve any issues you thought were there.
Sometimes I HATE spending time with the in-laws but it makes my partner happy and he does the same for me
This thread is 1 year old, anon
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- What to do?
- Tattoo - can parents stop me from getting one?
- I wish I still wanted to be with my bf
- I really dislike my mother in law?
- my mum hates my boyfriend …
- relationship and parents advice please
- I did something stupid and now my friends hate me
- Relationship HELP!
- Should I try to make this relationship work, or should I move on?
- i’m cheating i need advice
- My boyfriends family hate me.
- my boyfriend is Muslim and i'm Catholic
- Is it okay if my boyfriend doesn’t want me to talk to other boys?
- can't asleep - overthinking and anxiety
- My boyfriend dumped me over these reasons
- It is just me and my mum at home, is this the case for anyone else?
- My friend is telling me to break up with my boyfriend, it's messing with my head
- relationship advice.. (18 year old and 24)
- My Boyfriend is a lower caste than me
- What should I do?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
