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Why is my mum acting like this. watch

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    My mum is always so negative about me and my boyfriend’s relationship. We’ve been in a relationship for many years now and we are very happy. Nothing has ever gone wrong, nothing that would ever cause my mum to be suspicious of him.
    He is just a lovely guy. An angel.
    I have told my mum he is the one and I know he has told my parents that he wants to take our relationship to the next step 💍
    My mum is constantly saying how she thinks I should be careful and she keeps hinting that something is wrong with our relationship.
    This is not the case.
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    How old are you and how old is he?
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    If you're old enough to consider lifelong commitment to your partner, you're old enough to initiate a direct conversation with your Mum.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My mum is always so negative about me and my boyfriend’s relationship. We’ve been in a relationship for many years now and we are very happy. Nothing has ever gone wrong, nothing that would ever cause my mum to be suspicious of him.
    He is just a lovely guy. An angel.
    I have told my mum he is the one and I know he has told my parents that he wants to take our relationship to the next step 💍
    My mum is constantly saying how she thinks I should be careful and she keeps hinting that something is wrong with our relationship.
    This is not the case.
    She probably had her own ideal husband dreamed up for you (not necessarily even a real person), regretted something in her own marriage, or a previous one... and wanted to correct her 'mistakes' through you. Wanted to relive her life through you.

    I've seen it before. In fact it's relatively common to a greater or lesser degree with many parents.

    Unless she can point to specifics that are 'wrong' with your relationship, and justify properly why she thinks so... then it's not worth listening to. Same with anything.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My mum is always so negative about me and my boyfriend’s relationship. We’ve been in a relationship for many years now and we are very happy. Nothing has ever gone wrong, nothing that would ever cause my mum to be suspicious of him.
    He is just a lovely guy. An angel.
    I have told my mum he is the one and I know he has told my parents that he wants to take our relationship to the next step 💍
    My mum is constantly saying how she thinks I should be careful and she keeps hinting that something is wrong with our relationship.
    This is not the case.
    How does she seem to get on with him in person? Could it be that she just doesn’t like him? In which case I’d hope she’d see how much he means to you and respect it, really.

    How does her age of relationships and marriage compare to yours? Is there anything she might not approve of?

    Will she lose out at all when you marry? For example will it mean you move away from home and she might be living alone and lonely? She might try to slow down the process if she knows she will suffer for it, even if it would make you happy.
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    (Original post by fluffiestshark)
    How old are you and how old is he?
    We’re 21 just about to finish uni. It just feels right weve been through so much and remained so strong.
    We are soulmates.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We’re 21 just about to finish uni. It just feels right weve been through so much and remained so strong.
    We are soulmates.
    I think the other posters up there are on the right lines. If you've been together for a while and you're both at that mature stage, it should be okay, but I don't know much else about the nitty gritty since I'm not very experienced.
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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    How does she seem to get on with him in person? Could it be that she just doesn’t like him? In which case I’d hope she’d see how much he means to you and respect it, really.

    How does her age of relationships and marriage compare to yours? Is there anything she might not approve of?

    Will she lose out at all when you marry? For example will it mean you move away from home and she might be living alone and lonely? She might try to slow down the process if she knows she will suffer for it, even if it would make you happy.
    He’s very shy around her. She does like him tho. In fact this is my first boyfriend who she gets on with. And they occasionally joke together about me.
    She got married at 26 so older than me. But it’s not like we would get married yet. He just wants to propose to make everything official. We just want to spend the rest of our lives together.
    Yes. I am moving out to live with him after uni. So I guess it might be that
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    (Original post by DrSocSciences)
    If you're old enough to consider lifelong commitment to your partner, you're old enough to initiate a direct conversation with your Mum.
    I mean that sums it up pretty well. Talk to your mum, there is literally no way around it. Put aside an hour or 2 and just grind it out and listen. She has more life experience and wants the best for you so the advice of online strangers will mean very little comparatively
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He’s very shy around her. She does like him tho. In fact this is my first boyfriend who she gets on with. And they occasionally joke together about me.
    She got married at 26 so older than me. But it’s not like we would get married yet. He just wants to propose to make everything official. We just want to spend the rest of our lives together.
    Yes. I am moving out to live with him after uni. So I guess it might be that
    As suggested above it could be that she has in mind the perfect guy and doesn’t think he is it. But it’s not up to her, it’s up to you.

    I really would suggest sitting down with her and just having the conversation:

    “It concerns me that you have been quite negative about my relationship with X. We are happy together. Can I ask why you aren’t supportive? Is there something negative in him that you can see but I can’t?”

    Just try and be open about it and hopefully she will respect and be honest. Hopefully she does like him and doesn’t have anything negative to say, but it’s probably better you know.
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    I'm gonna be honest
    she is saying this for your sake; because my aunt dated a guy for a straight 3 years and he seemed so perfect to her although everyone around her told her that he is not the right man for her
    she still decided to marry him and ended up divorcing him a year later, because she realised that "he was a completely different person compared to how he seemed to be"
    I'm not saying you should break up with him but she is your mother and she is looking out for you; so it's best if you do take her advice
    best wishes xx
 
 
 
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