Long Distance and Breaks

Hey everyone.

My girlfriend and i have been together for 10 months, it's been a long distance relationship for 8 months. The first 2 months were excellent, sure the 2 months had their own problems, but they were incredible. Everything moved so quickly, but it felt right, it didn't feel rushed, it was natural. We see each other twice a month, we speak everyday, but two weeks ago it all changed. But to be fair, it wasn't until i moved away to uni to study a masters (and she left the country to study a phd) that things started to get difficult.

I haven't settled in my current city, no social life, hard degree, i unintentionally put all the pressure on my girlfriend, because she was the only person i really spoke to (unfair, i know). But two weeks ago, we had an argument A big one. I won't go into details, but it was more my fault than hers. Since then, we've been treading on eggshells, i've been to speak to a counsellor about depression and anxiety, i felt more optimistic, i thought we were on the right path.

But on Sunday we had another argument, and she wanted to break up as a result of it. But i think it was a knee jerk reaction to what has been said on sunday (which wasn't a lot to be honest). She did say she has been unhappy since the argument 2 weeks, and she doesn't want to feel like that anymore. Which i understand. I suggested a break or a pause (she agreeed); just to reflect on the 10 months because in hindsight (and i know she feels the same), they were amazing. We are both deeply in love with one another, which makes this so much harder.

We've been on a break for a couple of days, but we still message one another good morning and good night, that's it. However, it is usually me saying good morning/goodnight first. We say we love one another still, that i miss her, she's been thinking of me, which makes me think her reaction to the argument was a knee jerk reaction. I've made huge progress over the past 2 days, i'm getting out of the city i study in and moving back to where i was last happy (during the 2 months before we started long distance), i have grad job interviews coming up, i'm reconnecting with old social circles, i'm in a better place.

We've booked a holiday in 2 weeks time, so i don't know how to bring that up into conversation, because i still want to go. To be honest, i don't know what to do with this situation... It's confusing... Because i honestly don't know is going to break up after a week of limited contact, if she will want to stay together, i don't know how the whispering in her ear from friends has affected her opinion on the matter. But i love her and i know that she loves me.

I know that i haven't gone into much detail, it's just a brief overview of what's going on. I guess that i am looking for comments that suggest everything is going to be okay... I told her on Sunday that we need to take it slower, rekindle everything.. But i guess we have to wait and see what happens when we speak next.

Lol, a "break" is a terrible idea. If you believe that a short break is going to fix any relationship issues and things will go back to normal afterwards, then you are very wrong. This could be the beginning of the end. Long distance is hard but you need to work around it by discussing plans to keep the relationship going.

You need to sit down and talk with her about what you both really want in the relationship. Talk about commitments and long-term plans, such as how often you want to meet/chat/talk or where you want to go together. You both need to put in the effort. If you can't come to an agreement then you'll have to break up, for good.