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DrawTheLine writes a blog

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3rd May 2018

This morning was unusual not having my phone. :erm: It was strange not having my boyfriend wake me up this time. Because of that I ended up falling back to sleep until 7:30, oops. :ashamed2: After I got up I turned my laptop on to call him. Today was my relaxing day before I start revising again tomorrow. :bath: My friends struggled to understand I was uncomfortable meeting them without my phone and tried forcing me to meet with them anyway, so that sucked a bit. :sad: My phone is the only way I can talk to anyone pretty much without using my laptop, so it was important I was available to get it as soon as it is ready. I was refreshing the tracking page every 5 minutes in the morning.

I decided to shower around 9, and then I realised that without my phone I couldn't do my laundry. :sadnod: At this point I didn't know how long it would be until it was fixed, so I had to handwash my work tshirt in the sink as I need it for Saturday. In order to do laundry here you need the Circuit laundry app and there's no other way of using the machines without it, so I had no choice but to handwash. It's not that bad but I feel like I don't clean it as well as the washing machine does. :noway: I turned my space heater on and have had it gently drying my tshirt all day. I recently turned it off as it's touch dry, and now it can stay airing until I need it on Saturday. :yy:

I had cereal for breakfast, but this time it was the end of the bag so it was all flaky and broken, which doesn't have a nice texture. Next time I go shopping I'll get some cereal, but I don't need to get any food until next week I think. I can have eggs and/or toast for breakfast the next few days. It will be a nice change. :yep:

I feel like since not buying any chocolate or unhealthy snacks, I've lost a bit of weight. :yeah: I don't have any scales at uni but you know when you can just feel it? Yeah, it's like I don't have to "suck it in" as much as I used to. :tongue: It's probably nothing that I've lost and just an illusion seeing as I'm eating healthier, but I feel proud of myself and want to keep it up. :grin: When I get home later this month I will weigh myself and see if I have lost any weight. Losing this belly fat will make me so happy. I'm not fat, I'm within the healthy range for my weight, but all my fat goes to my stomach so I'm skinny fat. If I wear a tight dress suddenly I am 4 months pregnant. :lolwut: It is really disheartening, hence my diet change. After each exam though I will allow myself a well done chocolate muffin. I only have 2 exams left so it's definitely a good idea.

I know for sure that when I get home, my lack of unhealthy foods will change. My dad is one to buy doughnuts or other cakey things because "they're only 30p!" on his way home from work. :sigh: He also brings things home from work like if it was someone's birthday, he brings home the extra leftover treats. And my nan often buys pies and stuff and then says "I won't eat this, you have it". So it will be harder to refuse things like that, because my mum especially thinks that if I refuse food more than once I must be anorexic. It is so annoying! :mad: I'm obviously a healthy weight and not starving myself, I have 2 chins (at certain angles :K:), yet me not eating the last 3 bites of my dinner makes me have an eating disorder. Mum logic right there, eh? :rolleyes:

That's what I've enjoyed about being at uni so far. The freedom to eat what I want to eat without being told I'm anorexic or on a diet. My mum buys cheesecakes and trifles specifically for my brother (he could eat a supermarket and still remain a twig :grumble:) but then when he doesn't eat them suddenly it is my job to eat them, and if I refuse I'm "on a diet" and I get questioned repeatedly. What is so wrong about wanting to eat healthily and not overload on sugar and junk food? :dontknow:

Anyway, rant over about my parents and food. I had leftover macaroni bake for lunch, but I didn't eat that until 2pm. My phone was fixed around 11, so I hurriedly dried my hair with a hairdryer and hopped on the bus to town to get it. :vroam: They said it was a battery / main board (I think?) issue and they were replaced, and now it is all working. Woop! I'm so happy. :woo: However, they had to totally reset it so I lost everything! :nooo: I'm so happy I have an SD card though because I still had my photos (most of them) and contacts (only 10 of them though). I've had to ask on Facebook for people to text me so I can get their number again, whether people will is another matter but I can just imagine people texting me in a few weeks and I have to be like "who are you" which I hate doing. :nope: They also had to take off the plastic screen protector, but I can't get a new one. :noway: They don't sell the S7 anymore or the accessories, and the only way I can get the protector is on Amazon and then I have to put it on myself. They are so fiddly to put on even the experts in the stores struggle to do it without having to try several times. So I'm not too pleased with that, so I'm just going to be extra careful with my phone. I have one of those cases that folds over the screen too so it should be protected. :crossedf: I never drop my phone either so it should be okay. I will probably upgrade in November when my contract is up so that isn't too long to wait.

When I got home I was reinstalling everything, re-signing into everything. I've had to reset most passwords because I have no idea what they are as I'm always signed in with most things. The most tragic thing though is I lost all my Sims Freeplay progress. :bawling: I had been playing for over 2 years and now it is all gone and I can't get it back. That was so upsetting. So I'm starting again, and only having 2 Sims and no buildings except the basics is very sad to look at. :ashamed:

As for this afternoon it has been such a lazy day. I've watched Rich House Poor House and Rich Kids Go Skint, which have been fascinating to watch. I've grown up in a medium household. At my dad's he has a good job and he earns enough to be comfortable, but not enough to have lots of extra money. It just means that if an emergency came up with the car, he would be able to pay for it, that kind of thing. :cute: As for my mum, she's at the lower end which is sad. I get more in my student loan than she earns in a year. :yikes: She still only works 17 hours a week, which she did when me and my brother were little and she needed to do the school run. She obviously hasn't had to do that for years, but still refuses to get any more hours or a better job. It's painful to see because I don't see how she is able to afford things when she earns peanuts. :unsure: I think she is in denial a bit and so used to not working 3 days of the week that she doesn't want to get more hours. She's said in the past "the cat needs me". Mum, the cat will be fine on her own. :unimpressed: She has food and toys and warmth, she enjoys doing f*ck all and just sleeping because she's a cat. :colonhash: I worry about my mum sometimes. My brother gives her money with his job, but she refuses to take any from me because I'm a student, yet she honestly needs it more than I do. It's difficult when she won't change her job or get more hours, which she needs to do and can do, just doesn't want to.

Wow I keep getting sidetracked today. :colondollar: Um, the rest of the day will be lazy, of course. Carrying on today's trend. I think I'll probably have another portion of leftover bake. It is so good I don't mind having it twice in one day. :yum: I've written my to-do list for tomorrow to continue my revision for my next exam, and I fully intend on sticking to it. :yep: I'm disappointed though, a few of my pears started going mouldy. :frown: That's my struggle with fruit - I buy it but because the packs are big I struggle to eat it before it goes bad. I just need to eat more of it in one day. Having 2 pears instead of 1.

Food diary!

Breakfast: bowl of fruit and fibre cereal
Lunch: leftover macaroni bake
Dinner: nothing
Snacks: pear and cereal bar

Spoiler

(edited 5 years ago)
4th May 2018

Productive day, tick! :yy: Really proud of myself actually even though I didn't get much done in terms of content. I started off my day like normal and got out of bed at 7:30, got dressed and decided to watch the new Young Sheldon episode (it's a great show and I recommend you to watch it :yes:). I had to force myself to eat breakfast early today. I don't like eating when I'm not hungry. :unsure: It's like food is so much harder to swallow when you aren't hungry. I had to have eggs on toast too because I haven't bought any more cereal and the eggs need eating. I had to have it early because I had the dermatology appointment early. That was a hassle in itself! :sigh: I got to the practice nice and early, 15 minutes before my appointment. Then later told the nurse had called in sick and there was a replacement on the way, so finally 1 hour after my appointment was supposed to be I got seen, had the photos taken of my leg and told I'd hear back in the next 2 weeks. I was in and out in 5 minutes.

It kind of threw me off with revision. I had planned to get so much done today, but because I didn't get home until much later than I thought I felt a bit demotivated. :sad: I persevered though, I was determined. I made some tea when I got back, rolled up my sleeves and got typing. :cyber: I made revision sets on Quizlet and since about 12 I've been re-writing study summaries. I find I memorise things well by repeatedly writing them over and over and over again. I have about 40 studies to memorise for social psychology (and I still have developmental, cognitive and individual differences :dong:) so I've started on that and I will do it! I am determined to smash this next exam. I can do it I can B&Q it. :danceboy:

I made another yummy sweet chili chicken wrap for lunch. AND I GOT THE RIGHT TECHNIQUE TO WRAP! :dance: So happy with that, I managed to wrap it and it stayed together. Nothing fell out, not even a leaf. Go me! :crown: I bought some frozen chicken strips instead and just cooked those in a frying pan. Easier and cheaper than buying fresh chicken constantly. I added a lot less sauce this time though so I managed to eat it without my mouth burning. My spinach is also starting to look a bit sorry for itself so I think I'll have a side of spinach with my dinner tonight. I really should go food shopping soon. I have 2 more portions of macaroni bake, one I'll have tonight, the other for lunch before work. Oh dear, I really do need to go food shopping. :ashamed2: I'll take the mince out the freezer tonight and make spaghetti bolognese tomorrow night. Hey, no food shopping! :awesome: Oh wait no spaghetti. :K: I can get some after work. I finish at 5 so that'll be fine. I can get cereal too, boom. Happy days, spontaneous planning. :ahee: I'm just typing my thoughts as they come I have no idea if they make any sense but I guess that's the whole point of me writing this, eh? Spewing my thoughts onto the screen and hoping something good comes of them, ha. :^_^:

I showered at 4 and I didn't want to leave again. What I'm about to say will probably sound cringey but it's true so if you don't like lovey stuff skip to the next paragraph. Warm showers remind me of my boyfriend. :redface: Just that feeling of being held and being kept warm. :lovie: He's way taller than me so whenever he hugs me I feel wrapped in a blanket and all nice and protected. :love: These next 43 days better go quick because I am super excited to see him again and actually be able to be a normal couple, not needing our phones to see each other. Best 6 weeks ever coming up! :excited:

Okay, end of the lovey cringey stuff. I've been listening to my revision music all day today. :music: Apparently also Hot Stuff by Donna summer is a good revision song, ha. :rolleyes: It's the drums that just motivate me so much to keep writing and keep going. If my muscles didn't get tired, I would have finished all my repeating notes hours ago. That's another reason I didn't get as much done as I wanted. Because I'm lefthanded, I have to push the pen on the paper instead of pulling it like a righthanded person does. This puts extra pressure on the muscles and stuff so my thumb especially gets really sore after a while, meaning I have to stop regularly. It sucks because I could be so in the zone but have to stop for 10 minutes until my wrist/hand recovers. :sadnod: Normally I try to do something on my laptop productive but I'm guilty of getting distracted pretty easily, oops. :oops:

I'm determined to get at least 5 more studies rewritten over and over again before I stop for the night tonight. Seeing as tomorrow I'm working in the afternoon I don't have the whole day to get revision done. I'm aiming to stay super productive tomorrow too, probably won't be after work though. :nope: Work on a Saturday is not great, especially when the weather is nice. It's just so busy and then the customers are annoyed because it's busy. Like it's my fault that the sun came out so you decided to come out shopping, sure. :grumble: I wish I could tell customers that.

19 days until uni is over, 22 days until I move back home, 43 days until I fly out and this is my 2nd day without chocolate. I have things to look forward to and be proud of. Let's keep this up! :grin:

Food diary!

Breakfast: 2 sunny side up eggs on toast
Lunch: 2 sweet chili chicken wraps with yellow pepper and spinach
Dinner: leftover macaroni bake
Snacks: a pear

Spoiler

not long left now xx
Original post by Ucashelp
not long left now xx


I know I can see the end!
Original post by DrawTheLine
He's way taller than me so whenever he hugs me I feel wrapped in a blanket and all nice and protected


this makes me feel worse about being short :/
Original post by Ray_Shadows
this makes me feel worse about being short :/


How come? How tall are you?
Original post by DrawTheLine


:lovie: He's way taller than me so whenever he hugs me I feel wrapped in a blanket and all nice and protected.



You should protect each other.
Original post by DrawTheLine
How come? How tall are you?


i'm only 5ft 3 (i think) so i'm not nearly as tall to do what ur bf does
Original post by The Relic
You should protect each other.


I do protect him too, just not so physically. I'm pretty tiny compared to him and I'm a lot weaker, but I protect him by being the rational thought. He likes to do things that are pretty stupid because he finds them fun, so I protect him by talking him out of them, that kind of thing.

Original post by Ray_Shadows
i'm only 5ft 3 (i think) so i'm not nearly as tall to do what ur bf does


If you find a girl who is shorter even by a few inches you can do it! Please don't be sad about your height, you're still going to be an awesome boyfriend to someone one day.
Original post by DrawTheLine



If you find a girl who is shorter even by a few inches you can do it! Please don't be sad about your height, you're still going to be an awesome boyfriend to someone one day.


i sure hope so :/
Original post by Ray_Shadows
i sure hope so :/


You will! :smile:
Original post by DrawTheLine
I do protect him too, just not so physically. I'm pretty tiny compared to him and I'm a lot weaker, but I protect him by being the rational thought. He likes to do things that are pretty stupid because he finds them fun, so I protect him by talking him out of them, that kind of thing.

.


You can still physically protect him if he is taller than you lol. It just felt like I was reading something that assumed protection is the duty of a man. its not.
Original post by DrawTheLine
You will! :smile:


kind of doubt it with my skills :biggrin:
Original post by The Relic
You can still physically protect him if he is taller than you lol. It just felt like I was reading something that assumed protection is the duty of a man. its not.


Nope I didn't assume that. I can still feel protected by him even though he's a man. And I know I can still physically protect him, I'm just saying I wouldn't do as good a job as he would physically protecting me.
Original post by Ray_Shadows
kind of doubt it with my skills :biggrin:


Have faith in yourself my friend! It'll happen for you
Original post by DrawTheLine
Nope I didn't assume that. I can still feel protected by him even though he's a man. And I know I can still physically protect him, I'm just saying I wouldn't do as good a job as he would physically protecting me.


I said it felt like it not that you said it.

Yes of course but both partners should protect and care for each other thats all :smile:
Original post by The Relic
I said it felt like it not that you said it.

Yes of course but both partners should protect and care for each other thats all :smile:


Apologies for giving off that impression :smile:
Original post by DrawTheLine
Have faith in yourself my friend! It'll happen for you


appreciate the confidence :smile:
Original post by DrawTheLine
Apologies for giving off that impression :smile:


Nice blog by the way. Its very detailed!
Original post by The Relic
Nice blog by the way. Its very detailed!


Thank you :biggrin: I'm sometimes worried it's too detailed and people will get bored because it's too long. Even though I'm not exactly writing it for people to read, more for myself to have a way to look back on my life, it is nice when people read it :colondollar:

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