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Music Dept. Making Students Go To Stuff

So I am part of the Brass Band, yet when I was joining, the teacher couldn't take no for an answer so I had to go. I would have quit by now if it wasn't for the pressure she puts on people to do what she wants. She makes people feel guilty about not wanting to go or wanting to quit by saying stuff like "all of the work we have put in and you quitting is just so ungrateful". I am now having to waste a lot of my time now for this Brass Band even though I have so much homework, as well as mock exams and REAL exams. I feel pressured to go even though it is making me worry even more about exams. What should I do?

Reply 1

moonkatt

"I'm sorry miss, I have too much on my plate to be able to make a worthwhile contribution to your band, I'm sure as a teacher you will understand the need for me to focus on my exams."

Reply 2

Racsoix

If being in the band is having detrimental effects on your studies and exam performance you need to leave. Surely your teacher would understand if you talked to her about it. Is she aware of the fact she is putting you and the other students under pressure?

Reply 3

username2899906

Original post by Racsoix

Except people are "scared" of her. People feel like they have to. She has made people cry due to forcing them go and one example stay at the school as they wanted to go to a different college.

Reply 4

username2899906

Original post by moonkatt

"I'm sorry miss, I have too much on my plate to be able to make a worthwhile contribution to your band, I'm sure as a teacher you will understand the need for me to focus on my exams."

Except it really isn't like that. People cry due to what she says to them after people want to leave, even when wanting to go to a different college.

Reply 5

moonkatt

Original post by Goldfish4343

Except it really isn't like that. People cry due to what she says to them after people want to leave, even when wanting to go to a different college.

Has anyone raised this with someone senior at your college?

Reply 6

username2899906

Original post by moonkatt

Has anyone raised this with someone senior at your college?

Is this really necessary?

Reply 7

StriderHort

Well you can

1: Say no
2: Put up with it
or 3: Escalate the inappropriate behaviour to someone senior

only YOU know if that's necessary, you're the one asking.

Reply 8

moonkatt

Original post by Goldfish4343

Is this really necessary?

As already mentioned in post 8, those are your options. If you do nothing you risk harming your exam grades.

If you're at college I presume you're over 16, no time like the present to develop a bit of assertiveness and go with option 1. If this teacher starts to behave the way you've already mentioned, well, it's her problem, not yours. You can either explain your position again, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to dowith regards to your exams etc, if you feel you can't deal with her guilt tripping you or she makes you feel uncomfortable escalate it to someone who can tell her to back off.

You'll get people using all sorts of manipulative behaviour to get you to do what they want, it's not always going to be in your best interests, sometimes you'll have to stand your ground.

Reply 9

Tiger Rag

She can't exactly force you to stay, can she? I've been in a similar situation. I used to attend a running group which I hated. I was then offered a flat elsewhere in the city which would have meant 2x buses to get there and back again. I then said I was leaving for that reason. (as well as being guilt tripped for having other hobbies which meant I couldn't race when they wanted me to) he did offer to pick me up and drop me home each week, which I refused.

And that was that. I just left. You can't be forced to stay.