depressed with lonely life Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#1
16 m, I go to a private school and im in a small friend group. to get to the point - no one cares about me, whenever I go home no one texts me no one calls me no one cares about me, im always left out in events and group chats amongst other things - and i just had no one to care for or to be cared by. I have no best friend or any true friend, the only friend I do have is my crush who im quite close with but i know that 100% they dont fancy me, so im just left to talk to my crush who im obsessed with and then i get depressed because i know it will never happen. i also look like im about 12 so no girl is interested in me, i have no friend in or out of school and a day doesnt pass where i dont get sad / upset. does anyone know how to cope with this? despite having no friends im a very dependant on social interactions, so im quite affected when i have no one to talk to / anyone that cares about me. ive been like this for a year or 2 and im just always sad, the only thing im going to remember about my childhood is how i was lonely and depressed and the kid that no one cared about. Since im lonely ive gotten into bad habits of ******* atleast 3 times a day because im just so bored and have nothing to do, in the easter holiday i did nothing - i wanted to, but no one wanted to with me and i have quite bad anxiety and i bassically **** myself when i go outside alone. does anyone have any advice on how to cope with it and has anyone been like this before? if so how did u deal with it? thanks
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DrawTheLine
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#2
Report 10 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
16 m, I go to a private school and im in a small friend group. to get to the point - no one cares about me, whenever I go home no one texts me no one calls me no one cares about me, im always left out in events and group chats amongst other things - and i just had no one to care for or to be cared by. I have no best friend or any true friend, the only friend I do have is my crush who im quite close with but i know that 100% they dont fancy me, so im just left to talk to my crush who im obsessed with and then i get depressed because i know it will never happen. i also look like im about 12 so no girl is interested in me, i have no friend in or out of school and a day doesnt pass where i dont get sad / upset. does anyone know how to cope with this? despite having no friends im a very dependant on social interactions, so im quite affected when i have no one to talk to / anyone that cares about me. ive been like this for a year or 2 and im just always sad, the only thing im going to remember about my childhood is how i was lonely and depressed and the kid that no one cared about. Since im lonely ive gotten into bad habits of ******* atleast 3 times a day because im just so bored and have nothing to do, in the easter holiday i did nothing - i wanted to, but no one wanted to with me and i have quite bad anxiety and i bassically **** myself when i go outside alone. does anyone have any advice on how to cope with it and has anyone been like this before? if so how did u deal with it? thanks
Have a moment where you whimper about it, like you've done now, and get it out your system. Then, change it. Make changes. You say no one ever texts or calls you - so you should start texting and calling people. Join clubs that your school or local community offer, go and meet people. Also, see your GP or a medical professional to help you with your mental health. You're allowed to have a few moments where you mope a bit, but in reality it won't change unless you change it. You can't wait for other people to suddenly make it change. Get the ball rolling. People do care about you, but you probably just can't see it because of this mindset you're in. It will get better, but you need to be in the driver's seat.

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I know I may seem harsh but that's not my intention. I'm being honest - in order to see a change you need to start to make one.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#3
(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Have a moment where you whimper about it, like you've done now, and get it out your system. Then, change it. Make changes. You say no one ever texts or calls you - so you should start texting and calling people. Join clubs that your school or local community offer, go and meet people. Also, see your GP or a medical professional to help you with your mental health. You're allowed to have a few moments where you mope a bit, but in reality it won't change unless you change it. You can't wait for other people to suddenly make it change. Get the ball rolling. People do care about you, but you probably just can't see it because of this mindset you're in. It will get better, but you need to be in the driver's seat.

Spoiler:
Show


I know I may seem harsh but that's not my intention. I'm being honest - in order to see a change you need to start to make one.

thanks, i feel like if im having to initiate convos with people all the time it means they dont want to talk to me? if anyone wanted to talk to me they wouldn't need me to start the convo. i do play a couple sports every now and again, its just mainly the problem that im too scared to talk to anyone. i also feel bad if i would call people because i know no one intends to be mean to me or anything but i feel like if someone kept calling me that i didnt know/care about i would start to get annoyed, and thats the last thing i want to do to people whom im trying to make friends with. thanks for your help
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DrawTheLine
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#4
Report 10 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks, i feel like if im having to initiate convos with people all the time it means they dont want to talk to me? if anyone wanted to talk to me they wouldn't need me to start the convo. i do play a couple sports every now and again, its just mainly the problem that im too scared to talk to anyone. i also feel bad if i would call people because i know no one intends to be mean to me or anything but i feel like if someone kept calling me that i didnt know/care about i would start to get annoyed, and thats the last thing i want to do to people whom im trying to make friends with. thanks for your help
With initiating the convos, it could be a few things. First, maybe yeah they don't really want to talk, however in that case honestly it's just best to ask them straight up if they want a friendship or not. Or, it's possible that they're just not good at initiating convos. My boyfriend has actually told me that if I didn't get annoyed at him not replying, he would hardly ever reply to any messages or send me the first message. So some people just don't like / don't think about starting a convo.

I get what you mean with not wanting to annoy people, but it's just about building confidence. It'll take some time. Maybe when you call or text these people, just mention you are trying to build your confidence to help you in later life and you feel that by spending time with them that they can help you with that. It will probably make them feel good to think that they can help you with that.
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 10 months ago
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I kinda get you. I mean I'm quiet and should make more effort with friends and people at school but because I'm not really loud or funny people kinda stop bothering and have written me off. Old friends don't keep in touch and same as you I have to make the conversation and start the conversation on sc and don't feel like bothering. I'm thinking about joining clubs/volunteering outside of school ( eg any sports / charity work / tutoring / charity shops/ a job )for the summer so I can practise social skills and hopefully make more friends (&hopefully become less cynical about people). Hope it gets better for you though
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Anonymous #3
#6
Report 10 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
16 m, I go to a private school and im in a small friend group. to get to the point - no one cares about me, whenever I go home no one texts me no one calls me no one cares about me, im always left out in events and group chats amongst other things - and i just had no one to care for or to be cared by. I have no best friend or any true friend, the only friend I do have is my crush who im quite close with but i know that 100% they dont fancy me, so im just left to talk to my crush who im obsessed with and then i get depressed because i know it will never happen. i also look like im about 12 so no girl is interested in me, i have no friend in or out of school and a day doesnt pass where i dont get sad / upset. does anyone know how to cope with this? despite having no friends im a very dependant on social interactions, so im quite affected when i have no one to talk to / anyone that cares about me. ive been like this for a year or 2 and im just always sad, the only thing im going to remember about my childhood is how i was lonely and depressed and the kid that no one cared about. Since im lonely ive gotten into bad habits of ******* atleast 3 times a day because im just so bored and have nothing to do, in the easter holiday i did nothing - i wanted to, but no one wanted to with me and i have quite bad anxiety and i bassically **** myself when i go outside alone. does anyone have any advice on how to cope with it and has anyone been like this before? if so how did u deal with it? thanks
Dude, I'm in a similar situation, but I don't even have a crush or siblings to talk to. I genuinely haven't talked to anyone in over a month (outside of talking to parents once or twice a day when they point out all my flaws to me and lecture me).
This past month, I've just been sitting in my room watching youtube or tv shows or movies for most of the day, and then go to sleep to wake up the next. Along with all of this, I've got exams coming up, and everything seems to be going wrong at the same time, and I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
However, yesterday, I realized that there's no point in being depressed. It's just a waste of time. So now, I spend a few minutes when I wake up watching a motivational video on youtube, and then planning what I'm going to do for the day. Then, I do it and at night, I see what I've done and decide whether or not it could be improved for the next time. It distracts me, and helps me overcome situations. Watching motivational videos definitely helps me a lot
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Rabbit2
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#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
16 m, I go to a private school and im in a small friend group. to get to the point - no one cares about me, whenever I go home no one texts me no one calls me no one cares about me, im always left out in events and group chats amongst other things - and i just had no one to care for or to be cared by. I have no best friend or any true friend, the only friend I do have is my crush who im quite close with but i know that 100% they dont fancy me, so im just left to talk to my crush who im obsessed with and then i get depressed because i know it will never happen. i also look like im about 12 so no girl is interested in me, i have no friend in or out of school and a day doesnt pass where i dont get sad / upset. does anyone know how to cope with this? despite having no friends im a very dependant on social interactions, so im quite affected when i have no one to talk to / anyone that cares about me. ive been like this for a year or 2 and im just always sad, the only thing im going to remember about my childhood is how i was lonely and depressed and the kid that no one cared about. Since im lonely ive gotten into bad habits of ******* atleast 3 times a day because im just so bored and have nothing to do, in the easter holiday i did nothing - i wanted to, but no one wanted to with me and i have quite bad anxiety and i bassically **** myself when i go outside alone. does anyone have any advice on how to cope with it and has anyone been like this before? if so how did u deal with it? thanks
When i was "at school" - i was the youngest and smallest kid (male) in my class. Well - you know how that turned out!! I was the school 'punching bag' for all my time at school, until halfway through my junior year in high school. Then, the thugs (who were mostly one year ahead of me), thought: "my gosh, we're going to be graduating in a few short months. Time to "get busy being 'cool'" - whatever that means! I had a couple of friends at high school - basically outcasts like myself. The only way we survived was by hiding out in the school basement. The doors were kept locked (the janitors hung out there), but i managed to make a few 'pass keys' so a couple of me mates and i could get down there. The janitors saw us, but i think they knew what was going on, and they left us alone. There were a couple of 'spare' rooms in the basement, and we took them over - turned them into a 'classroom' - and used to hold study sessions & do homework there. The thugs, not being amateur locksmiths, couldn't 'breach' the door security. The last year and a half, we still used the basement, but the pressure was pretty much off. I managed to get an engineering degree after high school [BSEE], and later a MSEE. This was mainly by working my a** off, because at that point, i had NO idea of how to be a serious student - i do much more now! Best of luck!!
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