The Student Room Group

A Fresh Start?

Original post by TheWrongProphet
After pretty much bottling up for months on end, feeling trapped, anxious and borderline depressed at times (Not to say I've not experienced happiness or enjoyed aspects of the past year) I've resorted to posting to TSR to obtain outside perspectives on everything, in addition to feedback from those close to me. Just to make a collective/informed decision which is still ultimately determined by myself.

Breakdown:
- University undergraduate at a respectable Russell group University studying Business and Management approaching end of first year (An amazing opportunity for which I'm forever thankful)
- Currently, course performance has exhibited adequate summative and formative assignment results I guess (Excluding a slight hiccup with one particular assignment)
- Thought my research for Universities was organized, cohesive and greatly informed with assistance from sixth-form (However, limited due to living in Hong Kong, therefore missing open days due to sixth-form attendance and expensiveness of flights). I don't know if any amount of online research can form the best framework for decision-making upon reflection.
- First end of year exams approaching
- Achieved acceptable international A-level grades (Studied English, Maths, D&T, EPQ, AS Chemistry) in Hong Kong
- UK nationality (Male, 18), went from public school at primary to living in Hong Kong for high-school & A-Level education. Family since emigrated again to Australia. Honored and humbled to have had such a privileged lifestyle, especially with respect to those much less fortunate.
- Previously fairly motivated and hard-working student, now struggling on both fronts and just constantly feeling isolated, a bit useless, aimless and unfulfilled with my accomplishments and current life. Ultimately, an inferiority complex stemming from pressure of achieving status, economical security and deteriorating self-worth. Obviously a universal issue to a certain degree, however, I've come to realize a pursuit of happiness is central to my life. Just think I allowed a materialistic and elitist mindset brainwash my outlook.
- Subsequently, although elements of my course are interesting (There's no significant connection or aspiration to succeed, only a fear of avoiding failure) , upon reflection there's a distinct pattern linking to dimensions I loved about English literature and my heart belongs in Australia with my family (Not saying the independence of University and social life have been bad at all - I've actually enjoyed both most of the time)
- I understand the consequences of the magnitude of such a decision (Perhaps deemed a bit ill-advised and nonsensical by some) regarding a potentially wasted year (Nonetheless, the amount I've learnt is surreal), the wasted money on a year of domestic study (A burden for myself to bare) and international fees, in addition to the big fear of "What If?" (Maybe It'd be a massive mistake regretted in the future).
- There's only really one place I'd really dream of going to at the moment for a course for English/Psychology in South Australia (Closer to my parents and much younger siblings)

There's probably a lot of details I've missed so feel free to give any insight or perspective and ask any questions. I know I won't find the ultimate answer to my problems here, but respect and appreciate any feedback nonetheless. I am who I am. Cheers folks.


It sounds like you're happy with saying you go to a Russell group university but the course isn't for you at all.

A Fresh Start?

Original post by TheWrongProphet
After pretty much bottling up for months on end, feeling trapped, anxious and borderline depressed at times (Not to say I've not experienced happiness or enjoyed aspects of the past year) I've resorted to posting to TSR to obtain outside perspectives on everything, in addition to feedback from those close to me. Just to make a collective/informed decision which is still ultimately determined by myself.

Breakdown:
- University undergraduate at a respectable Russell group University studying Business and Management approaching end of first year (An amazing opportunity for which I'm forever thankful)
- Currently, course performance has exhibited adequate summative and formative assignment results I guess (Excluding a slight hiccup with one particular assignment)
- Thought my research for Universities was organized, cohesive and greatly informed with assistance from sixth-form (However, limited due to living in Hong Kong, therefore missing open days due to sixth-form attendance and expensiveness of flights). I don't know if any amount of online research can form the best framework for decision-making upon reflection.
- First end of year exams approaching
- Achieved acceptable international A-level grades (Studied English, Maths, D&T, EPQ, AS Chemistry) in Hong Kong
- UK nationality (Male, 18), went from public school at primary to living in Hong Kong for high-school & A-Level education. Family since emigrated again to Australia. Honored and humbled to have had such a privileged lifestyle, especially with respect to those much less fortunate.
- Previously fairly motivated and hard-working student, now struggling on both fronts and just constantly feeling isolated, a bit useless, aimless and unfulfilled with my accomplishments and current life. Ultimately, an inferiority complex stemming from pressure of achieving status, economical security and deteriorating self-worth. Obviously a universal issue to a certain degree, however, I've come to realize a pursuit of happiness is central to my life. Just think I allowed a materialistic and elitist mindset brainwash my outlook.
- Subsequently, although elements of my course are interesting (There's no significant connection or aspiration to succeed, only a fear of avoiding failure) , upon reflection there's a distinct pattern linking to dimensions I loved about English literature and my heart belongs in Australia with my family (Not saying the independence of University and social life have been bad at all - I've actually enjoyed both most of the time)
- I understand the consequences of the magnitude of such a decision (Perhaps deemed a bit ill-advised and nonsensical by some) regarding a potentially wasted year (Nonetheless, the amount I've learnt is surreal), the wasted money on a year of domestic study (A burden for myself to bare) and international fees, in addition to the big fear of "What If?" (Maybe It'd be a massive mistake regretted in the future).
- There's only really one place I'd really dream of going to at the moment for a course for English/Psychology in South Australia (Closer to my parents and much younger siblings)

There's probably a lot of details I've missed so feel free to give any insight or perspective and ask any questions. I know I won't find the ultimate answer to my problems here, but respect and appreciate any feedback nonetheless. I am who I am. Cheers folks.


It sounds like you're happy with saying you go to a Russell group university but the course isn't for you at all.
Original post by claireestelle
It sounds like you're happy with saying you go to a Russell group university but the course isn't for you at all.


I'm honored and humbled by the opportunity as before moving to Hong Kong my mindset, outlook and work ethic was completely different and I'd never have thought I'd be in the position I am today. At the same time, I think my values/morals consequently changed along the way into something which wasn't really me. Striving for success is a fundamental component to myself and everyone understandably. However, I think I focused too much on career prospects, future status in society and future economical status (Not saying these aren't important - Just they're not essential to who I am). It's like my outlook shifted from a pursuit of happiness from learning to a pursuit of materialism and reflecting now is conflict between the two.
Original post by TheWrongProphet
I'm honored and humbled by the opportunity as before moving to Hong Kong my mindset, outlook and work ethic was completely different and I'd never have thought I'd be in the position I am today. At the same time, I think my values/morals consequently changed along the way into something which wasn't really me. Striving for success is a fundamental component to myself and everyone understandably. However, I think I focused too much on career prospects, future status in society and future economical status (Not saying these aren't important - Just they're not essential to who I am). It's like my outlook shifted from a pursuit of happiness from learning to a pursuit of materialism and reflecting now is conflict between the two.

It sounds like continuing on that course wouldn't make you happy for sure, are you set on any particular career?
Original post by claireestelle
It sounds like continuing on that course wouldn't make you happy for sure, are you set on any particular career?


Firstly, I'd like to personally thank you for your feedback thus far, really appreciate it. Secondly, regarding career prospects, it's an essential aspect of why I chose Business and Management, reinforced by potential incomes attached to such opportunities, which again is pretty materialistic of me. On the other hand, I'm someone who has never had a solid idea of a career, primarily stemming from the fact there's so much to explore and so many different opportunities out there for a career. I just know English/Psychology have always fascinate me and areas where I've managed to excel too.
Original post by TheWrongProphet
Firstly, I'd like to personally thank you for your feedback thus far, really appreciate it. Secondly, regarding career prospects, it's an essential aspect of why I chose Business and Management, reinforced by potential incomes attached to such opportunities, which again is pretty materialistic of me. On the other hand, I'm someone who has never had a solid idea of a career, primarily stemming from the fact there's so much to explore and so many different opportunities out there for a career. I just know English/Psychology have always fascinate me and areas where I've managed to excel too.


There's no point being in a career where you earn a high amount but it isn't making you happy. If you do well in english and psychology then perhaps it could be the route to go down for you.
Original post by claireestelle
There's no point being in a career where you earn a high amount but it isn't making you happy. If you do well in english and psychology then perhaps it could be the route to go down for you.


Not to sound like I'm begging for sympathy. But I really thought for a long time I was being weak-willed and just giving up ridiculously easily at the first sign of danger. I've tried to stick it out for a year and yet I feel more or less the same. Also when I return home for each break, I'm finding the reality of returning to University unbearable and mentally draining. It's like I'm no longer excited for the independent or social aspect anymore. Although I do Football at my current University and also enjoyed snooker/darts society, I feel like my past exercise and active commitments has deteriorated, I've starting limiting myself and doing things because I constantly feel as if I need to work (Even though my motivation is more or less rock bottom - Despite dragging myself through academic glass). Lost my appetite the last few days too. Hard to pinpoint the exact downfall but I do feel something needs to massively change. The thing which is ridiculing me now is the fact I dropped Business after GCSE for lacking much interest and yet I went back to it (Yet despite knowing it when making a University decision I submitted to selective exposure).
Original post by TheWrongProphet
Not to sound like I'm begging for sympathy. But I really thought for a long time I was being weak-willed and just giving up ridiculously easily at the first sign of danger. I've tried to stick it out for a year and yet I feel more or less the same. Also when I return home for each break, I'm finding the reality of returning to University unbearable and mentally draining. It's like I'm no longer excited for the independent or social aspect anymore. Although I do Football at my current University and also enjoyed snooker/darts society, I feel like my past exercise and active commitments has deteriorated, I've starting limiting myself and doing things because I constantly feel as if I need to work (Even though my motivation is more or less rock bottom - Despite dragging myself through academic glass). Lost my appetite the last few days too. Hard to pinpoint the exact downfall but I do feel something needs to massively change. The thing which is ridiculing me now is the fact I dropped Business after GCSE for lacking much interest and yet I went back to it (Yet despite knowing it when making a University decision I submitted to selective exposure).


You haven't given up a year is a decent amount of time to have given it a go for, you aren't being weak :smile: I think that there's no reason for you to torture yourself by doing the course any longer, having no work life balance and having lost your appetite really isn't good for you.
Original post by claireestelle
You haven't given up a year is a decent amount of time to have given it a go for, you aren't being weak :smile: I think that there's no reason for you to torture yourself by doing the course any longer, having no work life balance and having lost your appetite really isn't good for you.


If you don't mind me asking, what would you do in my situation now then? Taking into consideration everything previously mentioned.
Original post by TheWrongProphet
If you don't mind me asking, what would you do in my situation now then? Taking into consideration everything previously mentioned.


Drop out of the course and apply to an english and psychology course back home
Original post by claireestelle
Drop out of the course and apply to an english and psychology course back home


Do you reckon I should take action after the final term is finished or try begin the process now despite exams?
Original post by TheWrongProphet
Do you reckon I should take action after the final term is finished or try begin the process now despite exams?


do you think you could pass the exams? if so maybe finish the year then you'll get a qualification to show for it
I mean the results so far this year have been fairly decent in regards to assignments, indicating I think I have the knowledge to do alright in the exams maybe. I guess only time and revision will tell?

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