I am trying to improve creative writing so if anyone can grade this it would really help me.

picture I used was of a beach

My writing:

Calm. Peaceful. Smooth. Walking on the beach; water splashing, rocks talking and birds chatting. Wind accelerates past me at the speed of light bringing the sweet smell of the of the sea. In the horizon mountains can be seen glaring at this beautiful place, the clouds smile over us, as my feet make squelch through the sand.

As I glance out into the ocean I spot an island floating on top of the sea. I tread towards the wooden, outdated dock, to satisfy my curiosity of the island, I step inside the boat starts to creak and grown underneath my feet. The boat flew across the ocean as the wind smoothed down my hair. Suddenly a school of dolphins jump like acrobats in a circus; metallic grey glinting in the sun as the water drips off their fins.

My gaze shifts towards the gigantic mountains which are looming over me. The sun peeks over me the mountains casting a hollow making the scene less overwhelming. I concentrate on the island which was coming closer every second I glance at it. A rush of excitement washes over me as the boat touches the land.

Charming and gorgeous island with people living their lives happily and beautifully. Holiday-makers smiling and splashing with their families I smile as I watch over the glistening new houses are made of burnt oak, strong and tall. Scattered across the island I imagine myself living out of my days here. Sunbathing as the animals around me tell their stories.

This place is heaven.

You're trying to hard. Write the way you'd speak, and avoid those clichés unless they add to what you're saying.

Also first person/present tense is bad. If you want to write in the present tense, try second person.