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My boyfriend says that im too much of a tomboy watch

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    I've been with him for 3 years, I guess I've noticed but never really address it. He wants me to be more girly, wearing dresses and high heels. He says that my persona and the way I hold myself and dress outside of the house is like a man. He said that he knows that I'm a female because I have a vagina. That he won't have sex with me anymore because it's weird that I'm like that but when I'm home I dress "girly"(hanging around in my room with just a t-shirt and underwear). He says that I'm not attractive to him. He hardly shows affecting and he says that he's just not that affectionate of a person. But that's a lie, he
    only gives me hugs or tells me I'm beautiful when he tries to make up for something. When we go out he says that I look like one of the bros After telling me all that, he says that hes not biased or anything. I should be myself and it doesn't matter what he thinks. I'm so confused, knowing that he feels like that.
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    Him thinking you’re a lesbian is just an excuse for him to break up with you.
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    I think that pretty rude of him to tell you those things. I think that if he's not attracted to you anymore he should be more upfront about it. Instead of making you feel bad for not being how he wants you to be. Have a talk with him and see where your relationship is going with him.
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    dump him, he's a **** and doesn't respect you, like seriously if your boyfriend says you're not attractive to him, he shouldn't be dating you and you should just cut your losses now and dump him
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    If my boyfriend did even one of those things, let alone all of them...he’d be an ex. Get some self respect and leave him. It’s pretty obvious.
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    Sounds like he's trying to drive you away or make up excuses for eventually dumping you because he can't get the guts to do it now already. Ditch him
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    He doesn’t deserve you if he doesn’t even see you as a woman when you go out.
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    (Original post by Gr3at)
    I've been with him for 3 years, I guess I've noticed but never really address it. He wants me to be more girly, wearing dresses and high heels. He says that my persona and the way I hold myself and dress outside of the house is like a man. He said that he knows that I'm a female because I have a vagina. That he won't have sex with me anymore because it's weird that I'm like that but when I'm home I dress "girly"(hanging around in my room with just a t-shirt and underwear). He says that I'm not attractive to him. He hardly shows affecting and he says that he's just not that affectionate of a person. But that's a lie, he
    only gives me hugs or tells me I'm beautiful when he tries to make up for something. When we go out he says that I look like one of the bros After telling me all that, he says that hes not biased or anything. I should be myself and it doesn't matter what he thinks. I'm so confused, knowing that he feels like that.
    I love tomboys, dump him and date me.
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    (Original post by Gr3at)
    I've been with him for 3 years, I guess I've noticed but never really address it. He wants me to be more girly, wearing dresses and high heels. He says that my persona and the way I hold myself and dress outside of the house is like a man. He said that he knows that I'm a female because I have a vagina. That he won't have sex with me anymore because it's weird that I'm like that but when I'm home I dress "girly"(hanging around in my room with just a t-shirt and underwear). He says that I'm not attractive to him. He hardly shows affecting and he says that he's just not that affectionate of a person. But that's a lie, he
    only gives me hugs or tells me I'm beautiful when he tries to make up for something. When we go out he says that I look like one of the bros After telling me all that, he says that hes not biased or anything. I should be myself and it doesn't matter what he thinks. I'm so confused, knowing that he feels like that.
    I’m a tom boy been with him my boyfriend 5 years and he has been said anything like that I would rather wear just jeans and t shirt and hoodies and he don’t mind.. I don’t wear make up I dont do my hair often just normally in a bun.. if it bothers him that bad why does he stay with you... cus obviously you been a tomboy it didnt just Happen over night so he’s know this since u been together so why even date you
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    That's called toxic masculinity. Simple as that, and I'd get away from him/that.
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    (Original post by daniel_floyd_)
    That's called toxic masculinity. Simple as that, and I'd get away from him/that.
    Toxic masculinity is defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that restrict the kinds of emotions allowable for boys and men to express, including social expectations that men seek to be dominant (the "alpha male" and limit their emotional range primarily to expressions of anger.
    That's what I got from a google search. How does the OPs bf fit into this description?
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    I think that's pretty rude. Just cuz you don't dress up like a "girly girly" does not make you less a woman. I think he is comparing you to other girls instead accepting you are you. Also not every woman wear high heels or dresses on a daily basis. Also there is no point dressing up to attract someone who already admitted they don't find you attractive anymore. That could impact your self esteem being told those comments and that is not a healthy relationship if he purposely making you feel unwanted until he feels like he's attractive to you.

    Good luck.
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    Agree with the poster above.. he wants to end it, but doesn't have the balls to do it yet.. probably to scared of being single again.. so he's lashing out, hoping that it will force the issue.

    There is nothing wrong with pointing out things about your partner that you would like to change slightly. But to say your not attracted to them at all, until your both old at least, is as good as saying it's over
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    What I don;t get in all this, Gr3at is that I bet you haven't changed in 3 years. So why was he attracted to you in the first place? Or was it simply because he was desperate and you were the first woman that would have him?
    His criticism says more about him than it does about you.

    Get together with hypofato, or some other guy that's not stuck in the 19th century. Your current boyfriend is acting like a male character from Lady Macbeth.
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    Don't change for him. If he wants to date a girly girl he needs to stop skirting around the issue and break it off. I'd just dump him myself tbh.

    What I don't get is why he entered a relationship with you in the first place if he doesn't find tomboys attractive?
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    Get rid of him NOW, today, do it. He has zero respect for you and you don’t seem to have a lot for yourself by sticking with him. All the best.
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    Yeah the problem is you're a tom-boy...

    Not that he's selfish, controlling and is demanding that you to change to meet his whims, after a three year relationship. If you don't he'll withhold affection, criticise you and make you feel isolated, inadequate and alone - undermining your confidence and self worth.

    He doesn't sound nice at all. Be brave, be you and wave goodbye.
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    (Original post by Gr3at)
    I've been with him for 3 years, I guess I've noticed but never really address it. He wants me to be more girly, wearing dresses and high heels. He says that my persona and the way I hold myself and dress outside of the house is like a man. He said that he knows that I'm a female because I have a vagina. That he won't have sex with me anymore because it's weird that I'm like that but when I'm home I dress "girly"(hanging around in my room with just a t-shirt and underwear). He says that I'm not attractive to him. He hardly shows affecting and he says that he's just not that affectionate of a person. But that's a lie, he
    only gives me hugs or tells me I'm beautiful when he tries to make up for something. When we go out he says that I look like one of the bros After telling me all that, he says that hes not biased or anything. I should be myself and it doesn't matter what he thinks. I'm so confused, knowing that he feels like that.
    I personally would end it. You should be with someone who finds you attractive and likes who you are. It's really crappy behaviour from him.
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    (Original post by Gr3at)
    I've been with him for 3 years, I guess I've noticed but never really address it. He wants me to be more girly, wearing dresses and high heels. He says that my persona and the way I hold myself and dress outside of the house is like a man. He said that he knows that I'm a female because I have a vagina. That he won't have sex with me anymore because it's weird that I'm like that but when I'm home I dress "girly"(hanging around in my room with just a t-shirt and underwear). He says that I'm not attractive to him. He hardly shows affecting and he says that he's just not that affectionate of a person. But that's a lie, he
    only gives me hugs or tells me I'm beautiful when he tries to make up for something. When we go out he says that I look like one of the bros After telling me all that, he says that hes not biased or anything. I should be myself and it doesn't matter what he thinks. I'm so confused, knowing that he feels like that.
    Break up with him, and don't change.

    For the record, some of us find tomboy girls very attractive. How you've described yourself is just about right in my opinion.
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    (Original post by Gr3at)
    I've been with him for 3 years, I guess I've noticed but never really address it. He wants me to be more girly, wearing dresses and high heels. He says that my persona and the way I hold myself and dress outside of the house is like a man. He said that he knows that I'm a female because I have a vagina. That he won't have sex with me anymore because it's weird that I'm like that but when I'm home I dress "girly"(hanging around in my room with just a t-shirt and underwear). He says that I'm not attractive to him. He hardly shows affecting and he says that he's just not that affectionate of a person. But that's a lie, he
    only gives me hugs or tells me I'm beautiful when he tries to make up for something. When we go out he says that I look like one of the bros After telling me all that, he says that hes not biased or anything. I should be myself and it doesn't matter what he thinks. I'm so confused, knowing that he feels like that.
    Honestly he needs to get in the bin. No-one should ever make you feel like you have to dress a certain way to be found attractive by them, especially your partner. If they don't like you for who you are then you don't belong together.

    Sure, most people like it when their partner makes a bit of an effort (I love my bf in a suit) but I still like him the rest of the time, whatever he wears and I'd never tell him how to dress or act.

    He definitely shouldn't be telling you he doesn't find you attractive, thats a complete **** move.
 
 
 
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