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How to be your own man? watch

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    I want to become my own man as I am 16 and I'd like to get more independent.
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    Get a job
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    (Original post by ShyMale16)
    I want to become my own man as I am 16 and I'd like to get more independent.
    Ok, what are you going to do differently?
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    (Original post by ShyMale16)
    I want to become my own man as I am 16 and I'd like to get more independent.
    Move out? Then see what happens
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    (Original post by JoeFrazier)
    Move out? Then see what happens
    (Original post by EmilyH1256)
    Get a job
    (Original post by Duncan2012)
    Ok, what are you going to do differently?
    I'd rather not move out as I am planning on using my parents house as sort of lodgings whilst I save money for when I move out to get married.
    I'm actually looking for a job
    Differently? I'm not really sure, I feel I need to develop more confidence as I am quite shy and anxious around people yet one of my desires is to have a small group of friends and a girlfriend. I am addressing this by going to hypnotherapy sessions. I'd like to be able to just do what I want to do yet I always feel I need to get approval from people. I want to go out make mistakes and come back with my tail between my legs. I want to gain life experience and make the most out of life.
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    Find some groups or something around your area that you would be interested in and join them. You will meet people and can gain some experience. (Only join ones that allow 16 year olds though.)

    Maybe volunteer on a weekend whilst looking for a job. (You get experience, a reference and you spend time doing something nice whilst looking for a job.)
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    (Original post by ShyMale16)
    I'd rather not move out as I am planning on using my parents house as sort of lodgings whilst I save money for when I move out to get married.
    I'm actually looking for a job
    Differently? I'm not really sure, I feel I need to develop more confidence as I am quite shy and anxious around people yet one of my desires is to have a small group of friends and a girlfriend. I am addressing this by going to hypnotherapy sessions. I'd like to be able to just do what I want to do yet I always feel I need to get approval from people. I want to go out make mistakes and come back with my tail between my legs. I want to gain life experience and make the most out of life.
    That does not make u independent.. that makes u a teenager...
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    Do nofap hardmode and meditation like this guy:
    https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/..._a_three_year/

    And get ripped like Goku!

    And train image streaming until your IQ is 180 then do Quantum Wave Streaming until you have 250 average, functional iq.
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    (Original post by EmilyH1256)
    That does not make u independent.. that makes u a teenager...
    Does it really? I could be 30 and still living at home. Why the unnecessary expense?
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    (Original post by AndrewBlue)
    Do nofap hardmode and meditation like this guy:
    https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/..._a_three_year/

    And get ripped like Goku!
    Who is Goku?
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    (Original post by ShyMale16)
    Who is Goku?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xd-TtRy0-A
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    (Original post by ShyMale16)
    Does it really? I could be 30 and still living at home. Why the unnecessary expense?
    Because if you want to be independent, you can't be relying on mum and dad to house you, feed you etc. Unless you're going to live at home, pay all the bills, buy all the food and deal with all the other adult things.

    You can't be independent and then decide to ignore the biggest step to independence, which is moving out.

    Also, you're 16. You are barely old enough to get a job. Why do you feel like you want more independence, especially if you don't want to move out. What sort of independence are you looking for exactly?
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    (Original post by ShyMale16)
    Does it really? I could be 30 and still living at home. Why the unnecessary expense?
    I’m say u wanted to go make mistakes and all that i get u it’s make mistakes you learn and to live but don’t do it just cus... look for a job yes find friends and a girlfriend okay cool but to go out n make mistakes cus u wanna gain life experience no.. u don’t make mistakes to gain life experience..
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    (Original post by Acsel)
    Because if you want to be independent, you can't be relying on mum and dad to house you, feed you etc. Unless you're going to live at home, pay all the bills, buy all the food and deal with all the other adult things.

    You can't be independent and then decide to ignore the biggest step to independence, which is moving out.

    Also, you're 16. You are barely old enough to get a job. Why do you feel like you want more independence, especially if you don't want to move out. What sort of independence are you looking for exactly?
    I'm in sixth form now and after looking to get an apprenticeship. I want to use my parents house as a lodgings therefore when I am making a wage I will pay the a rent. I want to be more of a man rather than a kid.
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    Get a job: You become more financially independent and it is the best way to build character. You'll encounter people in a different setting and hierarchy than you will have done before.

    Pursue your education: Nothing says being a man more than devoting yourself to your academic success. Your whole life will be decided by the decisions you make at your age. The types things you'll be able to do, places you'll be able to see and people you'll likely associate with will be directly linked to your earning potential and stability.

    Develop interests: Developing meaningful hobbies and interests not only provides you with entertainment; they also give you topics for conversation and make you a rounded human being. Don't just play video games and watch Netflix all day. Learn an instrument, a foreign language, hell even learn how to code to make your life a little easier when doing tasks on a computer. The difference doing meaningful hobbies like these; they provide opportunities for pleasure and they can earn you money too in the future, bolster your CV and set you apart from people in interviews.

    Exercise: Make the most of what you have, when you have it. One day age or illness will creep up on you and you'll regret not taking opportunities to get fit when it was easier. Go for walks, jogs, bike rides, swimming, anything that you enjoy doing and will be motivated to do.

    Explore your spirituality: Are you religious? Are you curious about religion? Read up on it, explore what it means to be spiritual and mindful. Are you not at all religious? Read up on philosophy and spirituality outside of religion. It isn't about following a dogma or blinding following, it is about exploring yourself as a human. What your wants and needs are, how to progress.

    Respect your family: Love your parents and siblings, make the most of them when they are here. Spend time with them, even if you feel goofy doing it and want more independence. You can learn something new from everyone, or so it is said. It is true with your parents too, they're your number one fans (it often doesn't feel like it)

    The most important thing about being a "man" is building your value. You have to have a goal and drive to achieve it. People will see you, your drive and commitment and will be compelled to want to know you. You don't have to know what you want all the time but make it look like you do.
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    (Original post by EmilyH1256)
    I’m say u wanted to go make mistakes and all that i get u it’s make mistakes you learn and to live but don’t do it just cus... look for a job yes find friends and a girlfriend okay cool but to go out n make mistakes cus u wanna gain life experience no.. u don’t make mistakes to gain life experience..
    Really? I was always told you learn by your mistakes. I want to get out there and gain life experience without always looking for approval.
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    If your 16, are you in school, sixth form or college? Is there anyone there that you would be comfortable becoming friends with. I've been in your shoes, and to be honest, it's just about little goals each day, I now have a really close group of friends, but I once had none.
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    (Original post by Charta)
    If your 16, are you in school, sixth form or college? Is there anyone there that you would be comfortable becoming friends with. I've been in your shoes, and to be honest, it's just about little goals each day, I now have a really close group of friends, but I once had none.
    I'm in sixth form but it is very small. I am getting an apprenticeship after that. I'm unsure of where I could meet people.
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    (Original post by ShyMale16)
    I'd rather not move out as I am planning on using my parents house as sort of lodgings whilst I save money for when I move out to get married.
    I'm actually looking for a job
    Differently? I'm not really sure, I feel I need to develop more confidence as I am quite shy and anxious around people yet one of my desires is to have a small group of friends and a girlfriend. I am addressing this by going to hypnotherapy sessions. I'd like to be able to just do what I want to do yet I always feel I need to get approval from people. I want to go out make mistakes and come back with my tail between my legs. I want to gain life experience and make the most out of life.
    You sound like you have a plan. You'll be alright.

    My only remark would be, that whilst you're trying to be 'your own man'... don't compensate. Don't overdo it. A lot of people are awfully insecure, and that doesn't make them any more independent than someone living with their parents. They just jump from the frying pan into the fire, from one bad relationship to the next. They don't plan, they just respond on impulse. Every other big decision they make for themselves is partially motivated with trying to prove something to someone else, or to give them the finger.

    Despite what such people may think, that they are thinking for themselves, that they are 'independent'... they are not. Because their decisions, rebellious as they are, are ultimately motivated by other peoples' expectations, even if they are done as a perverse mirrored reflection or out of defiance. People like that are not thinking about what is best for themselves. They are thinking about how to annoy their parents, for example. Or how to annoy some other person, or group of people. This generally is not sustainable. These people often exhaust themselves and are chronically stressed out, despite their proclaimed 'independence', because they carry a grudge with them and fail to make rational choices that would be to their own best advantage.

    It's much like a marathon. You don't sprint the first 500m to prove something to everyone else in the pack, so that you can then twist your ankle and collapse from heat exhaustion when there is still 5km left.

    Independence is earned. It doesn't appear with the snap of someone's fingers. I'm not of the opinion that simply skipping from a parents' house makes anyone independent just by virtue, if all you achieve for it is a mountain of debt that you'll repay by the age of 50, or relying on welfare for most of your life. It can work, but there needs to be better motivation behind it.

    Real independence starts in the mind, and knowing how to chose people you like, and discard those you don't like, without making a colossal scene of it just to prove a point to them.
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    Seen too much TOWIE.
 
 
 
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