Should I stop using facebook chat?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I don't want to come across as too needy, but I am just getting a bit tired with people who never contact me first or who stop replying to messages/take 5 days to reply.

Maybe I am expecting too much from people, but I have some friends who I think I would never speak to again if it wasn't for me contacting them.

I had a friend who hadn't replied to my message in 8 days, so I messaged her asking if everything was ok, and she told me she'd just had a bad week and would tell me why the next day (she never did). I found out she'd been replying to our other two friends throughout, so it was that she just couldn't be bothered to reply to me.

I have some friends who I can only see every few months due to distance, so it's nice to stay in touch online. I know people are busy, and I also work full-time and am not glued to my phone, but I try to reply to people within a day or two at most.

I have friends that I try to talk to online, and after one or two messages they'll just get bored and stop.

I don't write massive essays/only talk about myself/taboo subjets etc..
it's just that I feel like we will eventually drift apart/just become aquanintances, and it is hard to maintain close friends.

I don't expect to talk to people all day every day, and it is not possible either. Just wondering whether I should stop using messenger altogether; I know people are busy but I end up feeling bad/taking it personally when they don't reply or whatever even though they are supposed to be friends. I don't think social media is worth it if it makes people feel this way.

There are a couple of people who always reply and initiate contact which is great. One of them told me she only talks to 2/3 people and nobody else, and that it's better to have zero expectations from people so that you do not end up disappointed.

I think some people have the mentality that once you live further away etc. that you don't exist anymore, so there is no point staying in contact anymore. I don't forget people easily and I like to try and keep long-distance friendships going.

Am I expecting too much? Should I just stop bothering with messenger? THanks
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cheesecakelove
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#2
Report 2 years ago
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Do your friends actually use messenger a lot? A lot of my friends have stopped using Facebook and prefer to use WhatsApp. You could also give them a call at the weekend - more personal than an online message! Also, take into account that your friends may genuinely be busy or have things going on in their lives preventing them from answering you quickly.
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Sataris
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
Do your friends actually use messenger a lot? A lot of my friends have stopped using Facebook and prefer to use WhatsApp. You could also give them a call at the weekend - more personal than an online message! Also, take into account that your friends may genuinely be busy or have things going on in their lives preventing them from answering you quickly.
Isn't Whatsapp really boring to use compared to FB messenger?
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by Sataris)
Isn't Whatsapp really boring to use compared to FB messenger?
I think Facebook Messenger has more features, but WhatsApp is more streamlined and takes up less memory? In any case, most of my friends stopped using Facebook, so I had to download WhatsApp in the end!
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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Thanks for the replies! Yeah, they are constantly online. I know they are busy, but they say that as a reason for not replying then it always comes up on my newsfeed that they have liked/commented stuff and like with the other girl who was replying to my other friend but not to me.

I just think if someone is really that busy then they won't be on facebook much.. I think I just need to let people go and accept them as acquaintances rather than close friends..
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