RealistYoungsta
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#1
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Hello,

Im a young college student who just got out of her teen years. I am seeing this guy but we arent in a relationship yet for some reasons. Im experienced with relationships but I am a virgin. I stay with my mom but am able to do the things i like. Anyway, I go a new church with my mom, and for the first months, I loved it. The pastor and his wife are young like in their 30s mid ranged. For awhile I have became very attached to the church members, they are no more than 10 people. And a few children. There isnt anyone my age there but only young women who like aged 25-30 who have kids.
For the past month ive been receiving some strange vibes from the pastor. Everytime he hugs me, he hugs me around the waist, very close to my bum. He only does this when service is over, and when there is like 3 people left in the room or if im aimed in a certain direction where noone can see. He didnt hig me like that at first, but over time he started to do it. Now he kinda pulls me towards him and rubs me up and down my back when he walks me out. (noone sees) Im not trying to make this a big deal, because cheer and gymnastic coaches kind of do the same thing. But in this case I just dont like the vibe i get from it. He always discusses with the church how he used to be into "Everything", and how the lord delivered him from those things.( He kinda has a gayish body language)
Im just so confused on what's going on, and it wont get off my mind. Even his smell stays on me when i think about it. I dont even have a crush on him, and this is happening.
Please help me understand what this is anyone.
Thanks.
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GlockInmyRari
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Does he do it to others too? Is it possible to avoid hugging him? Would that make him less weird?

It definitely sounds like he is a creep. Especially since it got worse over time, it's not like you can say 'oh he just gives weird hugs but he's normal otherwise bla bla'. And the weird vibes are an indication too. I think you should be careful and stay away from him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RealistYoungsta)
Hello,

Im a young college student who just got out of her teen years. I am seeing this guy but we arent in a relationship yet for some reasons. Im experienced with relationships but I am a virgin. I stay with my mom but am able to do the things i like. Anyway, I go a new church with my mom, and for the first months, I loved it. The pastor and his wife are young like in their 30s mid ranged. For awhile I have became very attached to the church members, they are no more than 10 people. And a few children. There isnt anyone my age there but only young women who like aged 25-30 who have kids.
For the past month ive been receiving some strange vibes from the pastor. Everytime he hugs me, he hugs me around the waist, very close to my bum. He only does this when service is over, and when there is like 3 people left in the room or if im aimed in a certain direction where noone can see. He didnt hig me like that at first, but over time he started to do it. Now he kinda pulls me towards him and rubs me up and down my back when he walks me out. (noone sees) Im not trying to make this a big deal, because cheer and gymnastic coaches kind of do the same thing. But in this case I just dont like the vibe i get from it. He always discusses with the church how he used to be into "Everything", and how the lord delivered him from those things.( He kinda has a gayish body language)
Im just so confused on what's going on, and it wont get off my mind. Even his smell stays on me when i think about it. I dont even have a crush on him, and this is happening.
Please help me understand what this is anyone.
Thanks.
Reject his hugging politely, and tell him you do not feel comfortable about it, by no means he would insist to continue so.
The main point is you do not feel comfortable about it, the body is yours, it is does not matter if his motive is right or wrong.
I would assume he is well-respected at the church with good vibes with everyone else,
but if you feel uncomfortable by the way he touches you just say no.
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Joel 96
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Does he hug you like that in front of your mum? If he does, then it's probably just his thing and he has no real intentions.
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RealistYoungsta
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He only does it to me. My sister came to visit one time and she said it happened to her, but not the way it happened to me.

And your right about him being a creep. Ive tried avoiding him but he sometimes makes his way to me. Idk how. Im the only person he does this to because Ive watched.

Appreciate your comment, your right, I will try staying away from him fo awhile to see how things go.
Thank you!
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RealistYoungsta
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Joel 96 no he doesnt, he hugs me respectively around my mom. But when no one is around he hugs me different.
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MARYAM1234567
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YA GIRL ..DO STAY AWAY ..CUZ FROM MY EXPERIENCE THESE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE THE MOST DESPERATE (I'm not mocking or saying it in a bad way but just in general)
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Joleee
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if you're feeling weird vibes it is not your imagination. women can tell when it's crossing the line. and as a pastor he should f-ing know better. he should in fact be extra self-conscious/borderline-paranoid in how he is perceived because he's a man of god and all that.

don't let him touch you again. you do not want to get involved in a controversy, even if it seems exciting to you now, you will regret it for the rest of your life (not to be too dramatic but you will).
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Joel 96
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(Original post by RealistYoungsta)
He only does it to me. My sister came to visit one time and she said it happened to her, but not the way it happened to me.
Might be because he's known you longer or more than your sister? I'm not defending this guy, just trying to get a better understanding of the situation, that's all. It's possible that he could be coming on to you, though unlikely, since he has a wife.

(Original post by RealistYoungsta)
And your right about him being a creep. Ive tried avoiding him but he sometimes makes his way to me. Idk how. Im the only person he does this to because Ive watched.
Yeah, might be worth keeping your distance and really paying close attention to his actions and mannerisms. You don't need to be uncomfortable, you can always switch churches if this carries on.
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RealistYoungsta
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Joleee

i can tell you really understand where im coming from as a young lady. I appreciate your comment. Ima take that advice for sure.
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RealistYoungsta
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Joel 69

Yes i will keep close attention to what he does. Appreciate it.
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choco_monsterxo
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Omgg stay away wtfff what a creep bad vibes somethings not right
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WEASEL espinoza
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It's always the weird pastor from the church thats into that sh**
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EmilyH1256
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Believe it or not a lot or pastors are child molesters..just be careful like someone said before just tell him no thanks I don’t wanna hug.. n if he keeps trying maybe you should tell ur mom.. cus that is deff weird..
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StriderHort
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"Whats with all the touchy feely stuff?"

Jobs a good'n
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